


The Kamui Gate

by Violent_entertainment



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Naruto
Genre: Dimension Travel, Misunderstandings, Pre-Canon, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2020-11-23 20:10:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 57,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20895425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violent_entertainment/pseuds/Violent_entertainment
Summary: Ed's attempt to escape Gluttony's stomach doesn't go to plan. But while alchemy may not be capable of bringing back the dead, jutsu has all kinds of possibilities, if only Ed can take a break from trying to get home long enough to explore them.





	1. Prologue

“I still don’t understand why you think haring off on your own in some crazy dimension full of homicidal sideshow freaks is a good idea.”

Ling sat in the window, one leg dangling over the sill as he listened to his companion rant, chin resting in his palm, elbow planted against a knee. His shoulder lifted slightly in a minute shrug.

“My mission hasn’t changed. I still need to bring home a method of immortality to secure my clan’s future in Xing.” 

Ed rolled his eyes, dragging open a drawer and beginning to angrily stuff a satchel with the meager possessions he’d managed to procure in exchange for doing odd jobs around town while Ling ‘scouted’. 

“Don’t be an idiot. What’s supposed to happen if you _do_ find something? You can’t take it back to your clan when we don’t know how to get back!”

Ling flashed his infuriating smile. “I’ll just have to trust _you_ won’t stop trying to figure out a way home. And that you won’t leave me behind once you do.”

Ed snatched a pillow off the bed and chucked it at Ling’s head. “Leaving me to do all the work like always, lazy prince!” Still smiling, the aforementioned prince ducked out of the way and the pillow continued sailing out the window. 

Jumping down off the sill, Ling leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. “I’ve heard whispers of reanimation spells,“ Ed scoffed derisively from his corner of the motel room, “and I suspect if there is any true method of immortality to be found,” he spread his hands wide, encompassing their surroundings with his gesture, “it may well be in another world like this, where the natural laws and shaping forces are different than the ones we know.”

Ed threw the bag down on the bed and began to pace, throwing his arms wide in agitation. “That’s another reason why we should stick together! We still don’t understand what this chakra stuff is, but it definitely seems related to chi. I need you to teach me more about the Dragon’s Pulse if I’m going to learn their weird version of alkahestry.” 

Ling just shrugged. “I told you the first time we met. I’m no good at that stuff. I can sense it but I can’t use it.” His grin turned sly. “Unless all this fuss is because I can detect the presence of homunculi _and_ ninja, and you can’t.” He tapped the blade hanging at his waist. “Worried I won’t be around to protect you anymore, my little damsel in distress?”

Ed’s face had grown steadily more red until the prince thought steam might come out of his ears. “I DON’T NEED PROTECTION! I can kick the ass of any ninja who dares look at me funny!” He turned and kicked a hole straight through the wall with his metal foot, whether out of frustration or in demonstration, Ling wasn’t sure, and sat down on the bed. “And I’m a perfectly respectable height, you enormous freak of nature!” After a belated pause where Ed clearly replayed the conversation back in his head to make sure he’d covered every slight, he added, “and I’m not a damsel! You have longer hair than _me_, asshole.” 

Ling chuckled, but in the silence that stretched afterward, Edward slumped back across the bed and draped an arm over his face. Only one melancholy golden eye was visible as he turned his head to face the other man. 

“It’s a big world, Ling. How are we even supposed to find each other again after this?”

In reply, the other man dipped his hand into the wide pocket of the flowing jacket he was wearing, emerging with something cupped carefully in the palm of his hand.

Curious, Ed sat up. “Huh...a baby bird?”

Ling looked exceedingly proud of himself. “She’s a nin-hawk. They’re different from ordinary animals - they can use chakra just like humans. Some can even talk!”

“Really?” Ed looked skeptical. They both turned to the bird as if expecting it to pipe up in defense of itself. It gave an inquisitive cheep instead.

“Well, I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Maybe she’s too young.” Ling scratched the back of his head with his free hand, before delicately sliding the fledgling into Ed’s outstretched palms. “They’re used to transport messages long distances,” he explained.

Ed glanced up from where he’d been stroking the soft down on the bird’s back to give Ling a deadpan stare. “It’s a baby, Ling. It can’t even fly yet, much less carry a message.”

A look of exasperation crossed Ling’s face before he turned serious. “You need to accept the truth when it’s staring you in the face, Edward. We’ve been here two months already with no progress. We’re going to be here for a while longer. Maybe forever.” He held up a hand as Ed began to protest. “I’m not saying to give up hope. But there’ll be plenty of time to let this bird grow.” 

Ed scowled down at the tiny hawk, continuing to stroke it, but not arguing. “How’d you even get it, anyway? I wouldn’t have guessed a ninja would sell a special ninja bird to a suspicious civilian who can barely stumble his way through the language.”

When Ling didn’t answer straight away, Ed felt his face go pale and instinctively pulled the baby hawk closer to his chest as if to protect it. Like whatever lunacy ran Ling's mind might be catching. “You...you freaking imbecile! Did you steal it?! The last thing we need is-” 

Ling laughed, raising his hands up in a defensive gesture. “Relax! I really did buy her! She just didn’t originally belong to the person I bought her from, so if any angry ninja show up looking for their bird, they’ll be after him, not us. We’ll be long gone by then, anyway.” A bead of sweat rolling down his temple suggested he wasn’t as positive as he sounded regarding that fact. Ed scowled but let it go.

“You gonna name it?

“...I was thinking Lan Fan.”

A brief widening of eyes gave way to a soft smile. “That’s a good name,” Ed replied. “You shouldn’t keep her in your pocket, though.” Crossing back to the bed and pulling several handfuls of straw free from a tear in the side of the mattress, he transmuted a small wicker birdcage and slipped the newly named Lan Fan inside.

A companionable silence ensued as they watch the chick inspect her new home before the thought occurred to Ed.

“Uh, Ling, where’d you get the money for her?” 

Even as the question was crossing his lips, his eyes slid to the money pouch that should have been under the pillow he’d sent flying earlier. Half a second later, his fingers snatched only air as he watched one yellow-clad castaway carrying one little brown bird fling himself out the window. Racing over and leaning fully half his body out of the frame, he shook his fist at the sight of Ling brushing the dust off his clothes from the landing one-handed, the other clutching the handle of the birdcage. 

“I’m going to MURDER you! That was everything we had!” 

Ling smiled unrepentantly, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender, before calling up after him, “We should really be going then, before they ask you about that hole in the wall.”

Ed’s face went pale. “Good point,” he murmured, and after grabbing his satchel, jumped out after him.


	2. Chapter 1

Ed was drowsing in the shade of a tree to escape the heat of the midday sun when a shrill, familiar cry startled him into alertness. Squinting at a shadow passing overhead through the gaps between the leaves, he pushed himself to his feet. Picking a leaf out of his hair with a distracted frown, the blond made his way back to the road, satchel slung over his shoulder. Once he broke free of the trees, he dropped the bag at his feet and lifted a hand to shade his eyes, gaze tracking back and forth across the sky. He broke into a wide grin when he spotted the hawk circling overhead. When it spotted him in return, it shrieked again and swooped down. 

Lifting his right arm up as a perch, Ed dug into a pouch at his waist with his left hand, retrieving a strip of jerky. “Hey, Lan Fan,” he cooed at the hawk, offering it the meat once it landed. The nin-hawk never did learn to talk. Still, it, or “she” as Ling insisted, was abnormally intelligent. She never failed to find her way to either Ed or Ling, had unflagging stamina, and was as devoted to Ling as her namesake. 

Glancing up and down the road and seeing no one, Ed retreated into the trees again, being careful to keep his arm steady for the hawk. When he had retraced his steps back to his previous spot, he carefully untied the small message scroll secured to her back and tossed his arm upward to send her fluttering to the branch above his head. 

Unrolling the scroll slightly, he noted the familiar Xingese characters---just similar enough to the local alphabet not to raise any eyebrows at a passing glance, unlike Amestrian script, but completely incomprehensible to anyone who attempted to read it unfamiliar with the language, which was apparently everyone in this world except for Ling and himself. At least, as far as they’d discovered. It never hurt to be too careful. He sat down to read. 

_Ed-_

_A new ninja village is forming: the Village Hidden in Sound, in the Land of Rice Paddies. Word is they are interested in recruiting shinobi with unusual abilities. I think I will make my way there and offer up my skills as an “elite sensor", haha. _

_What I find most interesting about Sound is the illustrious man behind it all: Orochimaru, formerly one of the legendary three sannin of Konoha, since banished for his experiments into immortality. Apparently he had to flee his old village so suddenly, a lot of his research was left behind. _

_Another thing about Konoha - it’s the oldest and largest of the hidden villages. The Hokage’s private library must be a true cave of wonders. Supposedly it even houses a scroll detailing a secret technique of the Fourth Hokage’s, one which allows you to summon a “god”, although the price for its services is said to be rather high. The Fourth himself didn’t survive paying it. _

_Anyway, just thought you should know! _

_-Ling_

His instinctive reaction was to bang the back of his head against the tree a few times muttering every curse he knew, but his heart wasn’t really in it. A hidden village was where he was always going to end up. 

As vague as this rumor Ling had sent him was, it was still the closest thing he’d heard to anything resembling that _thing_ calling itself “Truth” since arriving here. If there was some known method to opening the Gate from this world, then it was knowledge the ninja were guarding. 

It wasn’t a new realization. Pretty much as soon as he’d learned of their existence, Ed had considered petitioning one of the hidden villages to allow him to join so he could access the shinobi-only libraries. Heck, that was exactly the reason he'd become a state alchemist! Sure, he couldn’t use chakra, but he could probably fake it well enough with alchemy for just long enough to determine whether or not they had what he was looking for, as long as another war didn’t break out. 

But you could retire from the state alchemy program, or just let yourself be phased out through the annual assessment. Shinobi who quit were labeled missing-nin and hunted down with expediency. Plus, there was the fact that ninja were just as cagey as alchemists about hiding the really good stuff from even those on their own side, but they usually protected their secret techniques with murder rather than complicated codes. 

He could enter as a civilian, but if he was caught accessing knowledge he wasn't supposed to have? Well, he'd be killed immediately if he was _lucky_. Tortured as a spy if he wasn’t. Teacher's lessons had brought him far, but despite how bold he’d been their first few months here, he wasn’t under any illusions about how long his own fighting ability and alchemy would stand up against an army of trained-from-the-cradle killers who shot lightning from their fingers for fun. At least, not without an amplifier like a philosopher's stone. 

They’d been trying to work from the fringes. Ling’s uncanny ability to sniff out shady contacts was amazingly lucrative in terms of politics, scandal, and other juicy rumors about what was going on behind closed doors in some very important places, but it often came up short in terms of anything they could actually use, though he sent Ed leads to investigate when he could. 

For his part, Ed researched myths and legends, interrogated scholars in the various capitals on space/time jutsu, and hunted down unaffiliated ninja to beg for demonstrations. He’d even hiked out to the ruins of Uzushiogakure, camping among the rubble, looking for a connection between fuinjutsu seals and alchemical transmutation circles. 

He’d found nothing. It had been over two years now since he'd become stranded in this world, and he was getting disheartened. This wasn’t like the four years he’d spent with Al crisscrossing Amestris chasing one dead end after another, trying to find a way to restore their bodies---he wasn’t _with_ Al, that was the whole problem! He had no idea what had happened to his brother after getting swallowed by Gluttony---if he was still alive, still trapped in the armor, if the homunculi's plan had succeeded, if there was even an Amestris to return home to. And the letters from Ling didn’t come frequently enough. 

Ed rolled up the scroll again, and leaned back against the tree, closing his eyes and tapping the scroll against his knee in thought. Well, it was a dangerous favor Ling was asking of him, trying to find this criminal’s lab notes, even with the tidbit Ling was dangling in front of him as payment. But he'd found and deciphered Marcoh's research and lived to tell the tale, so it wouldn't be the first time.

He was still skeptical of this “god summoning” technique, but he was tired of aimless wandering, just hoping to stumble across something. His eyes opened, determination gleaming in their golden depths. It was time to go straight to the source. 

____________________________________________________

“State your business.”

“Edward Elric, traveling repairman.”

The first guard raised an eyebrow, while the other stood stoic.

“This is a shinobi village, not a civilian one, sir. No solicitors get in without authorization.”

“I have travel papers.” Forgery was pretty easy, after he got a couple practice tries in. Just a little alchemic manipulation of ink here and there, and voila, permission to go wherever he pleased in Fire Country. 

The two guards shared a glance. “Let’s see it then.”

Ed handed over the wallet-sized document bearing the seal of the office of the Fire Daimyo and a lesser customs official's signature to the guard that seemed less interested in pursuing a conversation. Unfortunately, the first guard hadn’t let up.

“Repairman, huh? Where’re your tools?”

Ed made an exaggerated show of glancing from side to side and turning out his pockets before shrugging. “I’m good with my hands.”

The guard growled and placed a hand on his kunai holster. “Don’t play smart with me!”

“Okay, okay! They’re in my bag!” Ed raised both his hands up in a calming gesture, grimacing. He acknowledged the snark maaay have been going too far when he might still be turned away. 

Once the guard relaxed enough that Ed decided he _probably_ wouldn’t get stabbed for reaching into his bag, he retrieved a bundle of leather that he unrolled to reveal a variety of small tools---a few picks, a screwdriver, a delicate soldering iron---that he used to conduct basic repairs on his automail. 

The guard took the tool roll from him, to his disgruntlement, pulling out each instrument from its pocket and inspecting it. “This is all you carry?”

Ed sighed. “I find it easier to rent whatever I need for any particular job once I arrive. Good quality tools are expensive, and I don’t like needing to replace them every time I get jumped on the road.” Especially since he didn’t actually need tools when he had alchemy. 

He gave a small smirk. “Maybe if you guys lowered your prices I could hire an escort between towns instead.” 

The second guard finally spoke up. “Watch it, kid. It’s not a good idea to backtalk ninja in their own home.” He tapped the permit in his hand with a fingertip. “Under ‘Nation of Origin’, your papers list ‘none’.” 

“That’s correct.” Ed hadn’t seen any point in coming up with a fake hometown when it was a lot harder to disprove nowhere than someplace in particular. And especially when some ninja could sense when you lied.

“As I said, my job keeps me on the move.” True, finding a way home was essentially a full-time job. 

“And I have no permanent address.” Because he burnt it down years ago. 

“I _suspect_ Mom and Dad weren’t from the Elemental Nations,” this was said with a knowing grin, letting the two shinobi in on the joke about his obviously foreign...everything, as he’d practiced many times over many similar conversations, “but they never said anything to me about it one way or another.” Also true. Neither of his parents had ever mentioned their families to him.

“They’re gone now, but I’m still on the road.” Let them imply what they wanted. They’d never actually asked about where he was born, just about what his papers said about it. 

He shrugged half-apologetically, in a ‘what can you do?’ gesture. “If it helps, most recently I was making my way through the Land of Valleys.” 

The first guard continued to look suspicious but the second seemed to take it in stride. “And what brings you to Konoha specifically?” 

Ed shrugged again. “It’s big, so there should be a decent amount of work to be had here. It’s on my route through Fire.” He dropped his voice, grinning behind a hand as if sharing an embarrassing secret. “Plus, I like to consider myself a bit of a history buff, so I’ve always wanted to see the place that had so much influence in shaping the modern world.” His eyes deliberately flickered up over the wall to the faces carved into the cliffside. 

The first guard snorted and finally relaxed. “A Shodaime fanboy, huh?”

“Well, everything seems to be in order.” The second guard handed back the visa and gestured for his companion to hand back the tool roll he was still holding as well. Turning to make a notation on a clipboard that had previously been hanging off a nail driven partly into the wall of the guard house, he cleared his throat and his tone took on the monotone drone of something recited by rote. 

“This card permits you to remain in the village for a period up to three months. You must report your address to the Konoha customs and immigration authority within three days of arrival or suffer deportation. This card does not constitute citizenship or any of the rights thereof. Keep this card on your person at all times and be prepared to present it to any working shinobi who asks, identifiable by their leaf headband. And don’t-” here some personality came back into his voice, “let us find out you’ve been causing trouble.” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder, indicating Ed to step through the gate. 

With the first real grin on his face all day, Ed did just that. That hadn’t been nearly as bad as he thought. Maybe he’d been wrong this whole time to be so wary of entering ninja villages.

After the blond had passed through the gates, the first guard turned to the second.

“So, he was weird, right?”

“Definitely. Probably nothing but…” He searched the treeline for a moment, then relaxed as he spotted what he was looking for. “Go shake Kakashi out of that tree and tell him to keep an eye on the new handyman. Kid needs something to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ed, you're about as subtle as a brick. Not a very good spy.


	3. Chapter 2

Forcibly retired out of ANBU for barely two weeks, and they already had him running shit D-ranks like following some poor sap around the village as he glued broken flower pots back together or whatever it was a repairman did. All because the puffed up chunins at the gate don’t trust orphans and can’t go and blow off steam on _real_ missions. That he’d fallen so low as to have to take orders from... Whatever. If his superiors were that afraid he was going to snap and start killing everyone, they should have been keeping him _away_ from helpless civilians, not throwing him at them.

Part of Kakashi knew he was behaving like a child, and that had he been given this mission while still in ANBU, he’d treat the possible infiltration of the village by a hostile with the seriousness it deserved. But a much louder part couldn’t help but worry he’d outlived his usefulness and this was the beginning stage of phasing him out of the daily operations of the village. 

It made sense. Son to a disgrace, student to a dead man (whom he’d failed to protect), and a comrade killer: that was Kakashi Hatake’s legacy. They must have finally decided they couldn’t continue to risk him leading an ANBU team and causing something even worse to happen the next time he screwed up. 

He kept trudging on. 

Konoha was large, but the restrictions on who could enter the village meant true visitors were few in number and the options for temporary lodging were extremely limited. It shouldn’t take long to sniff out the newcomer. He glanced at the sun and shrugged internally, pulling out a book so no one would talk to him as he headed for the memorial stone. Why risk arriving before the mysterious foreigner?

Halfway there, he came to an abrupt halt and swung around, dropping his book slightly. That hair was exactly as it had been described. Not the pale white-blond of the Yamanaka clan or the ridiculous buttercup-blond his sensei had had, but a darker, golden-blond---long, but tied back into a tail. Its owner was seated at a ramen stand, slurping down the broth in his bowl by holding it up to his mouth. An empty bowl already sat at his elbow. Kakashi felt an eyebrow raise, partly in annoyance and partly in incredulity. 

‘Well, well, well, doesn’t life work in mysterious ways.’ 

_______________________________________________

“So I hear you’re the new repairman who arrived today?”

Ed jumped in his seat in surprise, spilling the contents of the bowl down his front. Wiping at the broth now coating his chin with a gloved hand and thoroughly soaking the cloth in the process, he scowled at the silver-haired man slouching against the counter. 

“You people sure work fast,” he growled, brushing ineffectively at his shirt and then shaking his hands, sending droplets of broth flying. One hit Kakashi in the face just above the mask and under the eyelid. The eye twitched.

“Yes, well. We _are_ a ninja village, after all.” He offered a very insincere smile, making sure it caused his one visible eye to crinkle. 

The blond continued to give him the stink eye and started patting his front with a cloth the apologetic stall owner offered him. “You hiding a cleft palate and a lazy eye under all that? Or is it just for fun.”

“Hmmm,” Kakashi pretended to think about it for just a moment. “For fun, of course!” he responded with false brightness.

The blond’s expression didn’t change. “Yeah, I figured.” Turning back to the stall owner who was hovering nearby, Ed asked, “can I get the check?”

He jumped again upon discovering that Kakashi had taken this momentary lapse of attention to move from standing nearby to sitting beside him. Taking the invasion of his personal space for the demand that it was, Ed grudging replied, “yes, I am a new repairman who arrived in Konoha today. But if you are interested in me repairing something for you, you will have to wait until I rent a workspace or cart or whatever, since as your little gossip network has no doubt already informed you, I’ve only been in the village for approximately...” 

He pulled out a silver pocket watch attached to his belt by a delicate chain. Kakashi’s uncovered eye zeroed in on it. The front was emblazoned with some stylized animal, possibly a tailed beast? It looked like something was inexpertly carved into the inner cover as well, but he didn’t get a good look before it was snapped shut again. “...40 minutes.” 

Determining to pickpocket the watch later, Kakashi continued without missing a beat. “Then we should set about getting you a workspace right away.”

Ed eyed him suspiciously. “Are all new businesses given help setting up shop here?”

“Ah, no.” Kakashi gave a small shrug. “But I’ve found myself with a surplus of free time recently, and I would be remiss in my duty as a shinobi of Konoha if I didn’t help.” A note of bitterness crept in as he mused, “what is a shinobi’s purpose, after all, if not to serve?” 

Ed continued to stare, but when Kakashi failed to whip out a kunai while shouting ‘I know what you are! Prepare to die!’, he hopped down off the stool, and dropped a handful of ryo on the counter. “Well, okay then.” 

He put his hands on his hips and raised an eyebrow. “Lead the way.”

_______________________________________________

Many frustrating hours later, Kakashi was more than ready to give up and ditch the brat in the middle of Konoha with a shunshin. Or maybe make an executive decision on his potential enemy status and take him out then and there, witnesses be damned. 

Kakashi was not any kind of expert on Konoha real estate, having lived the first years of his life in the secluded Hatake compound, followed by a small apartment Minato-sensei had arranged for him, then all the years after in the ANBU barracks. But due to his recent expulsion from the force “for his own good”, he’d only just finished wrapping up his own apartment hunt and thus still had several real estate listings lying around. 

They’d mutually agreed a single location that could serve as both work and living space would be best (Ed because it was more cost-effective, Kakashi because it would make it easier to keep an eye on him). But Edward “Just call me Ed” Elric had turned down every. Single. Listing.

This one was “far too expensive, I’m not made of money”, that one “too crummy, you expect anyone to live like this?”, the next “too far away from the city center, how am I supposed to get any business!”, but the one after that was “nowhere near private enough, I’m not looking to live in my neighbors’ laps.” And so on.

Just when Kakashi was ready to give in to his worst urges in the middle of the market thoroughfare, one shopkeeper suggested a property owned by a friend of theirs that finally seemed to satisfy the picky foreigner. 

The apartment was narrow but long, each room connected in a line and opening into the next as the only point of entry. An exterior half-door opened into what would be the shop. Through the door in the back wall was another room with a tiny kitchenette that could serve double-duty as the shop’s office. Behind that lay a small bedroom, and a bathroom past that made the final room. The extravagantly large grin Ed was wearing as he immediately put down the deposit said he couldn’t be more thrilled with the find.

It did not escape Kakashi’s notice that the apartment lacked exterior windows. 

______________________________________________

After shooing off the surprisingly helpful shinobi with the weird headgear and prematurely grey hair, Ed spent his first night in Konoha asleep on the floor of his new apartment, with only a small travel bedroll to soften the chilly wooden planks, and his satchel taking the role of a pillow. He’d figure out how to pick up some cheap (or better yet, free) beaten-to-shit furniture to alchemize to like-new status (with some improvements---it was hard to find furnishing that really fit Ed’s sense of style) tomorrow. 

He’d lucked out with this place. It was cheap, and the lack of windows for nosy ninja to spy through would hide the distinctive blue light of any transmutations. If he needed a quick getaway, he’d make himself an exit out the back room where no one would be expecting it (he’d just have to be careful not to burst any pipes in the process...again). But best of all, it was within a short walk of both the Hokage Tower and the library. He wasn’t sure which the good stuff would be secreted away in, but he figured it must be one of the two. 

The following morning, he made his way straight to the library. He wasn’t sure yet what excuse he’d need to get into the Hokage Tower---he’d have to find something. Ed had been through Eastern and Central Command enough times to recognize a building that loudly and unabashedly announced to the world, “This is a place where _paperwork_ gets done.” 

Important paperwork, which was more Ed’s concern. Mission reports and personnel files, specifically. He wasn’t naive enough to think he’d find the offending lab notes there, but if he could find anything that mentioned Orochimaru’s attempted arrest, it might be enough to point him in the right direction of where to _actually_ start looking. But in the meantime...

The thought of all that information on new and exciting jutsu just _sitting there_ behind the doors of the library was too enticing to ignore. Konoha didn’t build a separate research library strictly for its shinobi it seemed, (but honestly, Ed couldn’t imagine ninja were much in for scholarship, anyway) but rather kept restricted-access areas of the library for the more dangerous books. 

Once inside, he was informed, to his disgust, he could not apply for a card to check out any items seeing as he wasn’t a citizen, but he was free to read the books as long as they stayed within the building. He made his way straight towards the chakra theory section. 

_______________________________________________

Small civilian villages---just large enough to hold a library with two or three shelves, mostly offered up scary bedtime stories about giant monsters made up entirely of chakra rather than flesh and blood, or fables that told of the first person to use chakra---alternately, a goddess who came down from the moon, or a traveling priest. On one memorable occasion, it was a rabbit. 

It was in major population centers that Ed had made his first real breakthroughs, or at least they had seemed like breakthroughs at the time. 

He found medical journals on how chakra could effect health even in non-chakra users, dissertations on the symbolic mixing of the spiritual and physical associated with chakra (despite the impression he gave off, Ed was not dismissive of symbolism. For all that alchemy was a science, circles relied heavily on symbolism to convey complex ideas and immaterial concepts succinctly), and descriptions of the feats jutsu could accomplish through chakra’s strong association with five major elements of nature, which only strengthened Ed’s conviction that chakra was related to chi. After all, alkahestry, unlike alchemy, also recognized five basic elements, which is why its transmutation circles were based on the pentagram. 

Alchemical reactions were powered by the kinetic energy created by the constant, minute shifts of tectonic plates deep inside the earth. Alkahestry, as Ed understood from Ling’s meandering and nigh-unintelligible explanation, used chi, a slow, steady flow of naturally-replenishing life energy moving over the surface of the earth. 

Theoretically, all he needed to do to perform alkahestry was reach for one type of energy rather than the other when forming a circle (easier said than done).

But if Ling’s chi _was_ the same as chakra, Ed could _also_ perform jutsu. Which had been the thing driving him forward---finding a jutsu that could send him home. However, if the book he’d found in the capital of Lightning Country was correct, that didn’t seem to be the case after all. Chakra was a purely internal energy source, generated _by_ the body rather than flowing into it. And based on what Ling had said about how people here _felt_ different, he strongly suspected his and Ling's bodies did not.

Furthermore, it sounded like a lot of chakra manipulation involved redirecting chakra's natural flow through organic pathways in the body to pool and concentrate in specific body parts, particularly the feet and hands. And, well... 

Ed raised his right hand over his head and squeezed it into a fist, then slowly relaxed it open again, waving each finger individually. "Even if I found a way to substitute chi for chakra, I can’t exactly direct anything through energy pathways that don’t exist in automail limbs." He snorted softly. "Unless I plan to hop over the surface of a lake on one foot.”

It didn’t matter, he decided. If he couldn’t perform jutsu, that didn’t mean there wasn’t a jutsu out there that could bring him home. And there were plenty of people in this world who could perform it for him. 

_______________________________________________

The problem with any research conducted by an outside observer was that any practical application would be purely theoretical. Research conducted by shinobi was what he needed, and as he suspected, in shinobi-run villages, civilians couldn't be denied, and may have even been expected to have, a thorough and accurate understanding of chakra. Thus, even the non-restricted section was far more loose with secrecy than any others he'd been through.

Ed let his book fall back onto the table with a dull thump.

Chakra, despite the initial apparent similarities to chi, was a horse of a different color entirely. Chakra was _both_ the energy source for a transmutation _and_ the material to be transmuted. It didn't just produce fire or water in the way alchemy could, but was itself converted, seemingly completely bypassing the Law of Natural Providence and the Law of Conservation of Mass simultaneously.

It was such a simple conclusion to draw based on what he'd already learned, he wasn't sure why he'd never realized before reading it in plain language on the page. But he did know why. It was simply so absurd that he'd never imagined...a world where "the natural laws and shaping forces are different," as Ling had put it two years ago. How right he'd been. 

A world without equivalent exchange...Dropping his face into his palms, Ed wondered. Was this a good thing? What did this change, if anything at all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Konoha, 5 years before Naruto Ch.1. What canon events have already happened or are yet to happen 5 years pre-? Whatever I decide, when I decide it. I did originally intend to make this canon compliant, but then I did a little looking and realized the timeline is screwed six ways to Sunday, so I didn't try that hard.
> 
> Ed: 18  
Kakashi: 22  
Naruto: 7
> 
> More Kakashi next chapter.


	4. Chapter 3

Ling grimaced as he pushed through the hot, dark woods, clambering over rocks and trying not to lose his footing on the slick lichen coating everything. At least deserts were dangerous in a way he understood, unlike this region, where even the air seemed oppressively thick. 

He typically enjoyed the chance to see unfamiliar landscapes and the strange people inhabiting them. After all, once he became Emperor, he doubted he’d ever have the freedom to leave the borders of Xing again as long as he lived. But even so far away from his country and his people, he was never free of his responsibilities to his clan, and he felt the strain of the expectations placed on his shoulders like a physical weight; a heavy chain dragging behind him that with every clink and rattle reminded him what he needed to be doing and where he needed to return. And some days, like today, he just desperately missed the _familiar_.

But he was here to make an impression, and tumbling off a wet boulder wasn’t it. He’d had better training than to embarrass himself like that, even if he couldn’t stick himself to the surface with an application of chakra like this world’s ninja could. Playing useless and unthreatening was often fairly useful, but it wouldn’t help him get through the doors he was aiming for today. It might even get him a knife through the head instead. But neither could he make himself _too_ interesting, which could potentially be even more dangerous with these people. He needed to be just intriguing enough to spark attention, but not enough to hold it. Tricky, tricky. 

And it seemed he’d run out of time to make a decision. On top of that, if what his senses were telling him was correct, his situation was simultaneously much worse, but also far luckier, than he’d imagined when he’d decided to make his way here. Inside, he winced, but he outwardly plastered on an impenetrable smile and stopped where he stood, resting one hand on his sword handle while keeping his stance loose and relaxed, waiting. And waiting.

“Hel-looo, oto-nin! Ling Yao, at your service. Or at least I hope to be,” he finally called out loudly into the empty air, the occasional soft plink of water dripping off leaves and echoing off hidden ravines the only sound besides his voice in the stillness.

“So you’ve come to join the village, then.” A young man with shaggy grey hair stepped soundlessly out from behind a tree. His purple gear blended impressively into the gloom, and his headband bore a gleaming silver plate freshly engraved with a music note. Ling placed him at maybe 20 years old or a bit younger, although almost certainly older than himself. He was thinly muscled, and his thick glasses indicated poor eyesight...he didn’t seem like much of a threat, but Ling knew how appearances could be deceiving.

The Sound ninja cast a dismissive glance up and down Ling’s person. “Why should we welcome you into the ranks of Otogakure, stranger? What can you offer? I’m assuming you know how to use that sword, at least.”

“Of course.”

“Hmmm. Kenjutsu is more of a samurai art than a ninja one, but it’s not without its uses. Certainly several ninja have found their way into the Bingo Books with their sword skills,” the man mused. “How does your sword style pair with ninjutsu? Genjutsu?” he continued thoughtfully with a glint of curiosity gleaming in his eyes. 

Ling chuckled, raising both hands up in front of him. “Oh, no. I can’t perform either of those. I’m really no good with that type of thing.”

The newcomer scoffed. “So, an aspiring ninja who can’t use the ninja arts? What possible use could Lord Orochimaru have for you?”

Ling crossed his arms, leaning back against a nearby boulder confidently. “I’m what you’d call a sensor-type.”

He received a raised eyebrow in return. “Skilled sensors are uncommon, I’ll admit. But not rare enough to offset your clear deficiencies.”

Ling’s grin widened. “You haven’t met a sensor like me. It doesn’t matter how you try to suppress or disguise your chakra, I’ll still be able to find you. It’s how I knew you were here just now, and it’s how I know that you didn’t come to greet me alone. There’s three others in your little party, and eight of those charming chakra-using snakes as well.” _‘And one more besides,’_ he thought but didn’t voice. 

He stood back up from his casual slouch and stepped closer to the grey haired Sound-nin, letting his hand rest lightly on his sword handle once more and not stopping until he stood only a few feet away, uncaring as two more ninja dressed in light purple and grey materialized nearby, one on the rocks and the other dropping down from a tree. “I’d say that’s overkill for a single swordsman, but twelve is a lucky number for me, so I should say thanks instead. It makes this meeting most auspicious.”

“Any sensor worth his salt could determine the number of our ‘greeting party’, as you put it,” his host retorted.

“Ah, but I also know your final friend, the one who has yet to reveal himself, is in fact the legendary sannin whose reputation has gathered all of us here. At least, I assume it’s him. I don’t know who else would be walking around in someone else’s body.”

The man’s eyes widened almost comically behind his frames before they narrowed again suspiciously. “How could you possibly-” he growled out, before being cut off by an eerie chuckle. Thin white snakes swarmed out from the trees behind him, undulating across the damp earth and spreading out in a wide arc. From the shadows following them stepped a tall pale figure with inhumanly serpentine eyes, long purple marks accentuating the lines of his face.

“Lord Orochimaru!” The young man hastily spun towards his leader. “Please, let me---”

“Now, my dear Kabuto. It’s a little late for that, don’t you think? After all, our new friend is here to join the fold, so we should be appropriately welcoming. I’ll admit,” he said, placing a hand over his heart. “It was rude not to introduce myself right away. I am, as you guessed, Orochimaru. And I have to say,” his voice went high and cold, “I am curious how you knew this wasn’t my original body when my chakra is my own.”

The Xingese teen’s face remained unreadable past his smile. “I told your subordinate already. I can sense it.”

The snake sannin’s smile dimmed, replaced with a look of intense contemplation that made Ling feel like a butterfly pinned to a board. Neither pleased or angry, the expression nonetheless caused the hairs to rise on the back of his neck despite the humid air. With neither Ling nor the other Sound ninja willing to risk movement or speech before Orochimaru did so first, the moment stretched long and uncomfortable. In the pause, another snake, its body as thick around as a man’s thigh, emerged from the gloom and slowly wound its way up the self-proclaimed Otokage’s legs and waist to drape around his shoulders without his acknowledgment, although its weight and constriction must have been immense. 

Finally, the former Konoha-nin spoke, tilting his head back slightly and his mouth quirking up in something that wasn’t truly a smile, almost…_jealous_. “You’re a sage.”

Ling barked a laugh in surprise. “A sage, huh? That’s something I’ve never been accused of before! But not gonna lie, I like the sound of it.” 

Kabuto frowned, adjusting his glasses. “He means your sensor abilities. Are you really sensing our chakra?” 

“Oh, that. I can sense your chakra all right, but I’d be able to sense you even if you completely suppressed it. Because that’s not the only energy I can feel. And you can’t hide or disguise chi.” 

Ling took several steps back, making himself more visible to the group at large while spreading his hands to encompass the section of forest around them. The action also put several more feet between himself and Orochimaru, which was doubtlessly noticed but gratefully not commented on. “Chi is all around us, everywhere, under the waves and on mountain tops, passing through every human, animal, rock, and plant. We are merely standing in the stream, and there’s nothing man nor beast nor god can do to cease or escape the flow." 

Kabuto breathed out, fascinated. “So your chi is _natural_ chakra? But still, how? I’ve never heard of it being utilized the way you do.” 

“Water always takes the shape of its container, right? I can see your shape in the flow as it passes through you. And I can learn everything I need to know about you by how that chi mixes with your personal energy. Which is how I know that’s not really a snake.” He raised one finger lazily to point at the white serpent draped over the sannin’s shoulders.

Orochimaru’s eyes widened in the first visible reaction since Ling began speaking again. He leapt backward so quickly he was a blur, flinging the snake off of him, his fingers already moving in rapid defensive hand signs.

The serpent twisted in the air, crackling with brilliant red lightning. When it hit the ground, it did so on two feet, sinking deep into the soft ground. An androgynous figure, human in appearance, grinned up at Ling from its crouch with smirking purple eyes visible behind long, dark green hair. 

Ling drew his sword for the first time that day, pointing it straight at the figure. “I was wondering where you'd scuttled off to, Envy.” 

Envy laughed, straightening and stretching with a crack of its spine and ignoring the weapons pointed at it from five directions. “Well if it isn't the idiot prince. Never thought I’d have the displeasure to see you, again.”

Despite the tense mood, Kabuto was heard to softly murmur, “Prince?” 

“Oh yeah,” Envy drawled, gossiping as if they were all old friends. “Don't get too excited, though! He's one of 50 heirs to the throne. Well," it smirked. “37 at last count, and probably less now. They were starting to drop like flies when the Fullmetal pipsqueak landed us in this shithole."

Ling didn’t take the bait. “You've got a new master, I see, homunculus. What would your ‘Father’ have to say about that?” 

Envy sneered, lacing its fingers behind its neck unconcernedly and pointing vaguely with an elbow back at Orochimaru. “He’s not my master, I was just hanging around for a while. Wanted to see if he’d found a jinchuriki for this new village of his, since all the others have one.” 

One of the other two Sound ninja apparently had decided he’d heard enough from the mysterious newcomer, and launched a wall of mud at the homunculus. Envy easily jumped over it, and transforming its arm into a scythe-like blade, rushed the Sound-nin, slicing him in half before he could move away. The homunulus shuddered as it took a fireball to the back from the remaining kunoichi on the rocks, but red lightning crackled over its body once more, growing fur over the blackened skin. Now a large wolf, Envy pounced, ignoring the blade she drove deep into its shoulder, and tore the poor woman’s head from her body, dropping it over the other side of the rock and out of sight before shifting back to its familiar humanoid form. It turned back to Ling with a look of disgust.

“Tch. You annoying humans keep ruining everything.” It gave an annoyed kick to the body at its feet, lifting it briefing with the force of impact. “There’s no point sticking around here now that my cover’s blown. I’d take this chance to kill you, but I got better things to do with my time.” 

It jumped down from the rocks. “When you see the pipsqueak next, tell him if I ever run into him again, he’d better have figured out a way back or I’ll put my arm so far up his chest it’s gonna come out his mouth.” 

With those lovely parting words, Envy became the wolf again and loped away at unnatural speed. 

Kabuto waited a long moment to see if the green haired creature would return, then sighed, and made his way over to the bodies left behind and pulled out a scroll to seal them away for transport.

Orochimaru turned his gaze to Ling. “You’re familiar with that very interesting being that infiltrated my new village. I think we have a lot to talk about.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, no Kakashi


	5. Chapter 4

Kakashi sighed dejectedly as he stared at the featureless box of an apartment Elric had picked out. There was no way to tell if the annoying blond was inside or not. He’d made his typical early morning visit to the memorial stone to talk with Obito and Rin, but had forgotten that just because he wasn’t due to meet the rest of Team Ro at the village gates at a certain time didn’t mean he wasn’t on a mission, and he’d let time slip away from him. 

At times like these he almost wished Obito had been born a Hyuga. The ability to see through walls would be nice right about now. But if he was going to be required to stake this place out for potentially hours to see whether the blond emerged...he might as well pick up some new reading material. 

Once inside the library, Kakashi made his way to the fiction section. Novels were a form of escapism he needed, or frankly he probably would have actually snapped the way his superiors still feared he would years ago. In his novels, the adventures are always fun and thrilling, rather than the physical and emotional drain he’s come to expect during and after nearly every S-ranked mission. Comrades are closer than blood, and no one dies, except for the villains. But even more than his adventure novels, Kakashi loved the light-hearted romances. The obstacles keeping the lovers apart were often inconsequential things, but the emotional catharsis when they finally came together was more satisfying than any rounin hero defeating a bandit king. 

Unfortunately, the love triangle in his latest read was starting to feel uncomfortably familiar. He’d felt physically ill when the childhood friend character, whose love for the female lead went unrequited, was injured saving his own romantic rival, the mysterious and cold new arrival to town, from the heavy hooves of a panicked, rearing horse. He’d slammed the book shut and had been unable to make himself open it again. 

Something completely different this time, he thought. He’d heard some of the chunin at the gate gossiping that the Toad Sage had written another book under a rather obvious pseudonym. He had vague memories of Jiraiya visiting his childhood home at one point or another to see his father (there’d been no formal funeral, so he didn’t blame the man for not showing, if they really had been friends), and he knew that the sannin had been Minato’s sensei as well. Maybe he’d pick up the first in the series. 

So of course he’d run into the very charge he was, if Kakashi was forced to admit in the privacy of his own head, stalling looking for. He spotted him from a distance, pacing short steps up and down the hall that branched into the restricted section, pausing now and again to experimentally press a palm against the barrier sealing the entrance to the room, sending up an unusual burst of blue sparks, or to run his hands over the frame of the archway. He didn’t notice when Kakashi stopped beside him, too occupied with knocking on the wall with a gloved fist, ear hovering over the plaster to listen for changes in the sound. 

“You must realize this is very suspicious,” Kakashi commented dryly. The shorter man jumped violently at his voice. “And in broad daylight, too,” he went on, a little incredulous. “Most people would at least wait until after closing to-” He cut himself off when Ed finally turned around. He didn’t look nervous or guilty or even defiant as Kakashi had been anticipating. Instead, he mostly looked confused. Even a little frustrated.

“What is this?!” The words tore from the younger man’s throat seemingly without his permission. “What is this…,” he repeated, visibly struggling to come up with a word to describe the barrier jutsu and ended up just waving a frantic hand at it. “This blue thing?” he eventually concluded, weakly. 

Kakashi felt an eyebrow creep up his forehead. “It’s a barrier. To keep people _out_.” The ‘like you’ was heavily implied. 

There was no dawning realization or embarrassment on the blond’s face. Instead he just looked at Kakashi like _he_ was the one missing the obvious. “But what’s it made of? What’s powering it? What defines its boundaries?”

Kakashi glanced slowly between the barrier and Ed. “Chakra. Intent.”

The blond seemed to deflate at the answer. “Of course,” he groaned exasperatedly. “Of course,” he mumbled again, to himself this time, rather sarcastically. “Because at this point, why not? Chakra can be and do whatever it wants, apparently.” 

Kakashi felt a little wrong-footed by this entire interaction. “If someone hired you to steal scrolls out of the library, they weren’t very well-informed.”

That earned him a glare. “No one _hired_ me to steal anything. I’m not an idiot, I know what 'keep out and go away' look like, but am I just supposed to pretend that I don’t see a giant _glowing_ wall of blue light?! _Yeah_, I wanna know what’s on the other side!”

The other eyebrow rose to match its mate. “You _aren’t_ supposed to see it. This section of hallway is layered with a genjutsu.”

“Those are those creepy-real illusions, right?” Ed looked thoughtful for a moment then chanced a self-satisfied grin. “Well, I _have_ been told I have my feet too firmly planted on the ground to get distracted by make-believe.” Ugh, Kakashi wasn’t ready to deal with this. 

“How does it work? Do you need to take down the illusion and the barrier every time someone wants to access the room?” If the blond _was_ a spy, Kakashi definitely shouldn’t answer. But it seemed far more likely he was just annoying, and curious. It wasn’t like this was something an enemy shinobi wouldn’t already know or guess. And while there were certainly dangerous jutsu and dusty clan histories here, there weren’t any village secrets or forbidden techniques stored in the public library. 

“If you have permission to enter, the genjutsu and barrier will part for you.” To demonstrate, Kakashi passed neatly through the barrier and waved at Ed from the other side of the threshold. He didn’t actually have a pass for the restricted section on him at the moment, but his ANBU tattoo served the same purpose. He smirked at Ed’s obvious frustration that the barrier turned permeable only for him rather than opening like a door that he might have slipped through behind Kakashi. 

Kakashi dropped his hands into his pockets and slouched back through the barrier. “There’s nothing in there a civilian would need to know anyway. That room is mostly used by shinobi conducting research towards developing new jutsu.”

“If it’s only theory anyway, I don’t see why I shouldn’t be allowed in,” the blond retorted hotly. “But fine, I take your point.” Kakashi highly doubted the teen would really give up after only one try considering how interested he seemed, but he was by this point equally convinced the kid was harmless, and probably driven solely by curiosity. The library occasionally dealt with pre-genin daring each other to sneak inside the restricted rooms, just to see if they could. This seemed a little like that. 

With a delicate tap on his elbow, Kakashi subtly turned the kid around, and when he started to walk away the kid followed him as he intended. “What brings you to the library? I would think you’d be too busy setting up shop.”

The blond snorted, either not noticing or resigned to the fact he was being steered out of the building. “There’s not that much 'setting up' to do. I’m not a permanent installation.” He waved a hand through the air, gesturing at nothing in particular. “I normally just park myself wherever, so long as there’s four walls and a door.”

“And yet, you made a very large fuss about being close to the city center, as I recall.”

Ed looked confused then suspicious, before realization struck behind his eyes and he laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess I keep forgetting I’ll actually need to drum up customers in a place like this.” He looked around as if expecting a line to be forming up next to him, despite the fact they were now in the middle of the street, then turned to Kakashi with a look of sheepish embarrassment. 

“Usually I’m passing through smaller towns? So word spreads quickly on its own, and everyone comes to me without me having to do much advertising.” Huh, guess that’s exactly what he was expecting. “Everyone’s always got some broken item sitting around in a barn they can’t afford to fix, but can’t afford to throw away.” 

The silver-haired man rolled his eyes. “Well, that won’t work here.”

Ed frowned. “I guess not.”

Kakashi decided to take pity on him. “Why not hire a genin team for a D-rank mission? The rates are very reasonable. They can copy out flyers for you and post them around the village.”

“_That’s_ considered a mission?” 

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “I know civilians from outside the hidden villages don’t have a very high opinion of us shinobi, but it’s not all assassinations all the time,” he responded dryly.

Absently fingering the leaf emblem on the headband slanting over his eye, he continued blandly, “It’s not Konoha policy to send the new academy graduates on missions outside the village where they can get hurt. They start out running errands for the civilian populace until they’ve learned and grown enough to defend themselves.”

Ed colored. “Ah, sorry.” He looked away. “I didn’t mean offense, I’m just surprised, is all.” 

Kakashi shrugged. “Maybe ten years ago you’d be right to accuse, but times are changing and we’re not at war anymore. And you hardly look old enough to remember anything but peacetime anyway.”

Ed went even redder, but for a different reason. “The hell you mean by that? I’m 18, you ass!”

Kakashi stared. “You look about 14.” 

The blond threw his hands up in the air. “What kind of 14 year old is wandering around the countryside alone as a repairman?” Ed conveniently chose to ignore the fact he’d been wandering the countryside since he was much younger than 14, while dragging along his even younger brother. 

“Maa, you’d be surprised. Lots of war orphans around here who need to make a living.” 

Ed thought about the people he’d met as a dog of the military, and people in his own hometown out on the eastern border. People tired and scarred and broken apart by the Ishvalan Civil War, and the never-ending border skirmishes with Drachma and Aerugo. “No, I’m not surprised.” 

He sighed. “It didn’t take anyone from me, but war took my best friend’s parents from her. And it left a mark on a lot of people I know.” Mustang. “Marks that carried pretty serious consequences years later.” Scar. 

“But yeah. We’re at peace, for now.”

Kakashi was silent for a long moment. “You don’t sound like you expect peace to last.”

‘Well, I don’t know, do I?’ Ed thought bitterly. ‘There’s still four homunculi, plus their mysterious Father, whoever or whatever _he_ is, running around Amestris, and they’ve already started at least one war that we know of.’

“They’re always people who don’t _want_ peace,” he said instead. “But you don’t seem like that kind of person. So I’m sincere when I say I apologize.” Ed’s hand fell to his side and gripped his pocketwatch in his palm, rubbing his thumb over the Amestrian Dragon. That symbol had caused more than one person to spit on him in the street, even when he was clearly too young to have fought. And the State Alchemists weren’t the only ones to spill innocent blood onto the sand, even amongst the people he personally knew. He didn’t always remember that Hughes and Hawkeye had been there as well until something they did or said, or a certain look on their face, had reminded him. 

“I’ve come to recognize that the things people do in times of war...they aren’t doing those things because it brings them any satisfaction.” Unless they’re psychopaths like Kimblee. “They’re only doing what they think they have to in order to defend their home, with the knowledge they have at their disposal. Maybe they would have done differently if only, I don’t know, some small thing had been different. So it’s not fair of me to punish them for that when I don’t really understand what it was like to be in their place and to have to make that choice.” He dropped the watch to let it rest against his hip. “Especially when they’re already punishing themselves.”

He walked a few more paces before he realized his escort was no longer beside him. Turning, he saw Kakashi standing as still as a statue in the street. “You okay?”

There was no reply for a long moment, then the silver haired man let out a shuddering breath. With false levity, he explained, “I just realized I have somewhere else to be.” And so saying, he turned on his heel and quickly vanished. 

Ed watched him go.

Then he snagged the elbow of a man walking past. “Hey, do you know where I need to go to hire some ninja kids to handle some errands for me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The canon explanation for how genjutsu works is something about it hooking into your chakra senses. But Ed doesn't have a chakra network - that's why genjutsu doesn't work on him, not because he's some super skeptic.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a chapter that is almost entirely dialogue.

Ed stepped through the doors of a small, squat building and up to a counter where a friendly-looking man sat doing a crossword puzzle. He wasn’t wearing a leaf headband.

“Uh, is this where I can hire a ninja team?”

The man glanced up and smiled. “Yes, you’ve come to the right place! My name is Daisuke, how can I help you today?” He removed his reading glasses and placed his newspaper somewhere below the counter, out of sight. 

Ed couldn’t help glancing around. “I don’t see any ninja, though?”

The man raised a genial eyebrow. “They don’t wait around to be selected like lobsters in a tank.”

Ed flushed, embarrassed. “Of course not. I just thought I’d see some coming and going.”

“Oh my, no! Can you imagine?” Daisuke chuckled. “Some ninja bleeding all over the floor waiting to get paid while a little old lady haggles over grocery delivery fees in line in front of him. Madness!” He threw up his hands, waving them in the air in a comedic parody of chaotic despair before folding them back down in front of him on the counter. “No, it just makes sense to keep the two sides of the business separate,” he concluded, grinning.

When the teen in front of him did not grin back, Daisuke leaned back in his seat, tapping his pen against the counter. “I see you’re unfamiliar with how this works. I’ll take down the details of your request and assign it a mission classification. You’ll also need to put down a deposit. Then I’ll send a runner with your mission request over to the Hokage Tower where it will be assigned out. You can certainly request a specific shinobi or team and we’ll do our best to accommodate, but that does cost extra. Once the mission leader signs off on its completion, you’ll be issued the remainder of the bill.”

“So what you’re saying is, whenever a mission is complete, they’re dropping that report off at the Hokage Tower, rather than here.”

Daisuke frowned. “Mission reports are generally for internal use only.”

Ed pressed. “What if _I_ want to know how the mission I _paid for_ went?”

Daisuke’s frown deepened and he leaned forward slightly, lacing his fingers together in front of him. “Most of the missions we process in this building take place within the village, or else are escort missions, in which case the outcome is plain enough to the client. If you are interested in hiring for something more, how should I put it…”

The teen shook his head rapidly. “No, no. Forget it. I was told I should ask for a genin team for a D-rank mission? I need copies made of a flyer advertising my business, and for someone to post them around town.”

The man’s face cleared immediately. “Not a problem at all! Have you brought the ad you’d like copied?”

“Yeah, it’s right here.”

When the blond handed it over, Daisuke couldn’t help but cringe. ‘This handwriting is just about the worst I’ve ever seen. And sometimes those jounin sign paperwork with broken fingers.’ 

“Wonderful. Ah, can I get you to clarify a few lines?”

The blond didn’t look very surprised at the request. This was definitely not the first time someone had commented on the legibility of his penmanship, the desk worker guessed. “Yeah, sure.”

Daisuke turned the flyer back towards the customer, tracing a line with his finger. “This part here says,” he squinted. “Repairs, offers, time, and minting at old land?” 

This time the blond sighed, and leaned forward, jabbing at each word vehemently as he spoke it. “Repairs, _alterations_, and mending of all kinds.”

“Oh, like clothes?”

He shrugged. “Sure. Clothes, weapons, toys, furniture. Whatever. All kinds.”

Daisuke brightened. “Any good with electronics? My grandmother has this radio program she loves, but recently her radio hasn’t been picking up anything but static, and I can’t figure out why!”

“Yeah, I’ve done radios plenty of times. That should be simple.” He gave an easy smile. “I’ll even give you a discount. First customer and all. The address of the shop is on the flyer.”

“Perfect! I’ll make sure to bring the radio by later today after my shift. Grandmama will be pleased. That’ll be 2,500 ryo up-front, another 2,500 upon completion.”

The teen, now revealed to be a repairman, withdrew a few bills from his wallet and placed them on the desk, accepting the receipt in return. He grinned. “Thanks. You’ve been a big help.” 

Only after the door had closed behind the blond did Daisuke realize the address scribbled on the flyer was even more illegible than the rest of it. He dropped his head in his hands and groaned. 

____________________

So, as Ed had assumed (but it was still nice to confirm), mission reports _were_ filed at the Hokage Tower. But he still needed an excuse to go inside and snoop around, and so far it seemed the only options were A. be called to the Tower to receive a mission (for ninja), or B. request a private meeting to solicit one of the more unsavory, clandestine types of missions (for civilians). The first wasn’t possible and the second wasn’t in any way ideal.

The three months his visa would allow him to stay in the village was not a lot of time to break into the tower and find the mission report concerning Orochimaru’s defection (which would hopefully lead him to the location of the research notes), actually find the research notes, break into the Hokage’s private library to locate the god summoning technique Ling had told him about, and systematically search the main library (public _and_ restricted sections, which he also needed to break into) for any other useful information---since he doubted he’d be able to get back into _any_ ninja village again if he made it out of here successfully.

Ed had always had a bad habit of getting so distracted by a difficult problem that he lost track of his surroundings, which was why he didn’t notice the bright orange, chest high battering ram plowing through the street in time to dodge. 

The force of the collision sent him stumbling back a few paces, but instinct had him turning to the side as he did so, placing his hand behind the attacker’s shoulder, and _shoving_, adding to his assailant’s own forward momentum to send them falling gracelessly face-first onto the ground behind him.

“Oof!” Which was when he realized his “assailant” was a small boy. Shit.

“Shit. I mean, shoot,” he panicked, crouching down to offer a hand up. “Sorry, kid.”

The little boy looked up from where he’d been rubbing his head, tears beading up in the corners of his eyes. A pair of kinda stupid looking, now cracked, goggles lay on the ground beside him where they’d been knocked from his head. The pained expression rapidly disappeared in favor of an awed one. “You look like me!” 

‘Huh?’ “What are you talking about?”

“The hair, the hair!” The kid scrambled around and tugged on his own locks, trying to pull one down in front of his face to get a better look to verify, but it wasn’t long enough.

“Oh yeah, we're both blond!” Ed glanced up and down the crowd in the street in thought. “Guess I haven't seen a lot of other blonds since arriving here.” He grinned and gave a thumbs up. “Looking good, kid.” 

The boy grinned back, but didn’t take off running to wherever he’d been headed earlier. Instead, he pushed himself to his feet and toed one foot in the dirt, clearly working up the courage to ask something else. “Are you…are you an Uzumaki?” 

‘A _what_?’ A vein throbbed in his forehead as Ed took a step forward, pointing an accusing finger at the kid. “Is that some kind of dirty word? Where'd you learn that, huh?”

Now the little blond boy stomped his foot, equally enraged. “It’s not a dirty word! It’s my name! Naruto Uzumaki! And you better remember that, because I'm gonna be Hokage someday! Believe it!" 

The display and explanation was so unexpected, Ed couldn’t help a burst of startled laughter. “Oh? And then I’ll owe you 520 cens, right?”

In the way of small children, the boy instantly forgot his rage, now just looking confused. “520 what?”

“Nothing, don’t worry about it. We're not long lost cousins, kid. My name is Edward Elric.” ‘Although I suppose it’s true enough that I don’t get my coloring from the Elric side of the family…’ 

The kid squinted, suspicious. “You sure?”

He snorted, crossing his arms. “Am I sure of my own name? Yes, I am sure. What’s with the back talk? Didn’t anyone ever tell you to listen to your elders?" 

The boy scowled. “All the time! But why should I when they’re all big dumb jerks? Gramps Hokage is okay, I guess. But only some of the time.” 

Ed grinned again, wider. “Sticking it to the man, huh? You’re a kid after my own heart.” 

The kid, Naruto, glanced up and down Ed skeptically. “Are you even an adult anyway? You’re super short!” 

He flinched as the older blond dropped a heavy hand on his shoulder in response, holding him in place while the other fist dug into the top of his head in a noogie, grinning evilly. “Watch it, kid. I’m gonna make sure your mother washes your mouth out with soap.”

Naruto pushed him away, shoving out from under his arm and mussing his hair back into place. “Well, then the joke’s on you! I don’t have a mom!”

The awkward silence and trembling of the kid’s lip that followed was all the indication anyone needed that this was not the sick dunk it was intended to be. 

Ed rubbed the back of his neck, face falling. 

“Yeah? That...really sucks. You know, my mom died when I was little, too. I would have done _anything_ to get her back...but the world doesn’t give way just because we push hard enough.

“You’ll make other relationships that make you feel whole again, and it helped me to know I don’t need to stop loving her, and to know she never stopped loving me,” he trailed off. 

‘Aaand that was probably the worst thing to say to the kid if she’s not actually dead and just up and left like Hohenheim.’ But Naruto neither burst into tears nor kicked him in the shin, which seemed to indicate he hadn’t completely screwed up this attempt to offer comforting words. 

“I don’t know if she’s dead. No one will tell me who she was,” Naruto offered up. “But I live in the orphanage, and I bet she’s dead, because...she would have come back for me by now if she was still alive! Believe it!” Although he’d started out staring at his shoes, the kid finished glaring up at Ed, daring him to contradict. 

“Yeah. Yeah, she definitely would. Moms are like that. Hey, kid. Let me fix those goggles for you.”

Naruto glanced at the goggles he’d unthinkingly scooped up from the ground, now held loosely in his hand, and gave a small cry of distress when he noticed the damage. “You can’t fix them, the glass is cracked!”

Ed gently took them from the child’s hand. “Maybe any old smelly loser couldn’t fix them, but I can.” He paused. “Turn around for a sec and close your eyes.” 

Naruto seemed to be second-guessing letting Ed take the goggles from him. “No! You’re just going to keep them and run away!”

Ed sighed in exasperation. He didn’t have much experience with little kids aside from Nina and Elysia, and they’d both been perfect little angels, not suspicious little twerps. “Why would I want broken goggles? They wouldn’t even fit me!”

“I dunno, you’re pretty small,” the blond boy commented thoughtfully, apparently completely serious.

Ed grit his teeth and took a deep breath in through his nose. It wouldn’t do to lose his temper with someone less than half his age. “Look, do you want them fixed or not?”

Suddenly fearful, Naruto grabbed onto the outstretched arm holding onto the goggles and hung off it, begging. “I do!”

“Then let go of me and close your eyes! I need to do a...secret fixing things jutsu. This technique has been passed down the Elric family line for generations!” Internally, Ed couldn’t help but wince at the words coming out of his own mouth. “So I can’t have any random blond kids spying while I perform it and stealing it, you know?”

Now stars shone in the kid’s eyes. “Wow! A real, live secret clan jutsu! A fixing things jutsu sounds kinda lame, but a special clan jutsu!” 

“Yes. Very secret, very special. So don’t tell anyone about it. Actually,” Ed glanced around. The street wasn’t that crowded and most of the people who were around were ignoring the two of them, but he still dragged the kid into an alley. “Better to not be in view of the entire street.”

Naruto nodded sagely. “To preserve the clan’s secrets is to preserve the clan,” he intoned knowingly in a way that indicated to Ed he didn’t actually know at all, but was merely repeating something he’d probably overheard. 

When Ed gave him an expectant look, Naruto looked panicked, visibly struggling to come up with another axiom. 

“Uh, a good ninja always, um…” 

Ed rolled his eyes. “Not that,” and he made a twirling motion with a finger. 

The lightbulb went off in Naruto’s head. “_Oh!_ Right.” Then he turned around and covered his eyes. 

Ed crouched down and brushed at the dirt at his feet, clearing away a smooth space in front of him and placing the goggles down. He eyeballed the blond kid, whose head was very slowly twisting back towards him in what he must have thought was a stealthy manner, and he just knew that the fingers covering the boy’s face were spread wide enough to reveal a curious blue eye between the gaps. 

“No peeking!” The small blond head whipped back around to stare straight ahead.

He pressed his hands together softly to mute the sound of the clap and then tapped a fingertip against the lenses of the goggles, sweeping them up in his hand before the transmutation had even finished. It was a simple one and his fingers covered most of the sparks.

“Okay, all done.”

Naruto whirled around so fast Ed was concerned he’d make himself dizzy. “That fast?” 

“Yeah.” He watched the orange-clad kid run his fingers over the smooth lenses in awe after he dropped them into the boy's outstretched hands. “Don’t go running into any more strangers, okay? They’re not all gonna be as nice as me.”

The kid frowned glumly even as he slid the goggles back over the top of his head. “I coulda told you that, mister. Everyone hates me already.” 

“They don’t hate you, they just think you’re annoying.” Even as the kid opened his mouth to protest, he added, “Shouldn’t you be in school right now?” 

Naruto scowled and ran off without so much as a thank you, stopping a few meters away to turn around and blow a raspberry at Ed before taking off again.

Hands on his hips, Ed sighed. “Jeez, I was never that bad, was I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help myself. I'm resurrecting "Believe it!"


	7. Chapter 6

“Elric!” At the sound of his name shouted in the street in a city where no one should know it yet, Ed turned around to see a vaguely familiar face beckoning him from the entrance to a bakery. 

“Oh, Mrs. Momomiya.” He gave a hesitant wave back and trotted over.

“Zakuro tells me you took the apartment,” she began once he got close.

He smiled. “Yeah! It’s perfect. I’ll run the repairs business out of the front room. Thanks for turning me on to Mrs. Fujiwara yesterday. I was starting to think I’d have to sleep on the street.”

“Of course, of course! No need to thank me, _she_ should be the one thanking me, after all. I got her a tenant!” The woman laughed at her own little joke. “You’ll be taking customers soon, then?”

“Yeah, I just got back from hiring a team to post flyers around for me, so we’ll see what kind of business I get.”

The woman got a sly look in her eye. “_I’d_ be willing to tell my customers about your new shop...if you were interested in purchasing some buns, that is.” 

“Tch. Yeah, alright, lady. You got yourself a deal.” 

“Excellent!” She clapped her hands together in satisfaction and hurried back into the shop, speaking over her shoulder. “Now, I made them this morning so they’re not quite fresh anymore, but I still expect full price!” 

He rolled his eyes, knowing she wouldn’t see with her back still to him as she rounded the counter and began packing a paper bag with the sad, remaining buns on the rack, still making conversation.

“Did you also register your address while you were out?”

He blinked in surprise. “Did I what?” 

She whirled with an exaggerated gasp, hand covering her mouth. “You haven’t yet? But they must have told you at the gate when you entered. Sweetie, you only have three days, or they’ll kick you out! And knowing that Zakuro, you won’t be getting your deposit back from _her_.”

Ed groaned. Yes, now he remembered. “Where, exactly, do I go for that? I think they said something about a customs authority.”

Mrs. Momomiya paused in thought. “I’m not entirely sure. I guess you could go back to the gate and ask the guards?” She waved that thought away. “I’m sure there’s some horrible little office they send all the merchants to register their hotel at when they pass through on the supply routes, but since you’re one of us now, at least temporarily, I’ll let you in on a little secret.” She spoke behind her hand, but didn’t make any effort to lower her volume, in the manner of a tried-and-true gossip. “All that paperwork gets sent by runner to the Hokage Tower, anyway. They should be able to take care of it for you there. Just look for my buddy Masaya—-about yea high? Brunet. Skinny. Tell him Ichigo sent you.”

He gaped. ‘All this time worrying over a plausible excuse to get into the tower...could it really be that easy?’

Misinterpreting his look of shock, Momomiya laughed as she handed over the bag. “Sarutobi may be the ‘god of shinobi’, but that’s not why I’m paying him taxes. For all that that place is crawling with nin like bees from a hive, it’s really mostly boring administrative stuff that goes on in there.”

This time Ed laughed back, trying to hide his excitement. “I’ll walk over there first thing tomorrow. How much do I owe you?”

As he went to pull his wallet from his pocket, he noticed the lack of a familiar chain brushing against his hand and went cold. His watch was gone.

“Did- was I wearing a watch when I came in here? Did you notice?”

Momomiya frowned. “A watch? On your wrist?”

“No, a silver pocketwatch. It would have been hanging off my belt.”

“Not that I noticed, but I wasn’t looking too closely. Sorry, son.”

‘Shit shit shit shit shit. When could I have…’ The answer hit like a freight train. 

‘That. Little. Brat!’ His fist tightened around the bag so hard the paper tore, sending the buns tumbling to the floor to the shopkeeper’s cry of alarm. ‘When I get my hands on him I’m gonna punt him into next week!’

______________________________

Naruto giggled from his perch in his favorite climbing tree just past the boundaries of a little used training ground. It was out of the way, and no one could see him from the ground, which made it the perfect hiding spot when he didn’t want to be found. It was also the perfect place to investigate his new find. 

The snarling animal on the front of the silver disc was both cool and a little scary, earning the seven-year-old’s seal of approval. The hinge on the bottom clearly indicated the object opened up, but although he turned it all the way around, he couldn’t find the clasp. 

He tried fruitlessly for several moments to pry it open by digging his fingertips into the seam and pulling with all his not-so-considerable might, but he couldn’t get a good enough grip on the smooth rounded edges of the object. 

Trying to jam a kunai (another great thing about this hiding spot—when shinobi _did_ use the training ground, a few kunai or shuriken inevitably went soaring into the trees, and not everyone bothered to collect them again when they wrapped up their target practice or mock battles) into the seam to pry it open that way didn’t work either. Neither did smashing it repeatedly against the trunk of the tree.

“Grrrr...why! Won’t! You! Open?!” In a fit of frustration, he hurled the silver disc as far as he could. It disappeared into a patch of tall grass, and he wilted, instantly regretting his decision. 

He scrambled down the tree, scraping up his palms in his hurry, and hesitantly kicked around the area where he thought it had landed (there were snakes in the woods here—-he’d been startled and nearly bitten a time or two picking up abandoned weapons in similarly overgrown spots) but soon reluctantly turned his back and began stomping away with his arms crossed. 

“I didn’t wanna see inside anyway! I bet it’s something dumb.” He often talked aloud to himself when he was out here, sometimes pretending he was talking to a friend just out of his line of sight. 

A thought occurred to him and he brightened. “Ya’know, I bet it doesn’t even open at all!” He nodded to himself, already convinced of the truth of this new theory. “Yeah, that’s gotta be it! It’s just supposed to look like it can! Like when I glued that coin to the ground and everyone looked like dummies trying to pick it up.” 

He grinned widely in fondness at the memory before continuing on in a solicitous tone for his invisible audience. “I guess that new guy can’t be all bad, if he’s a prankster like me. Even if his clan jutsu is boring.”

Encouraged by the idea he might have a willing partner next time he wanted to pull a prank, even if the strange blond man wasn’t the cousin or uncle he’d been hoping for, he decided to make time in his busy schedule of playing hooky to visit him again. 

________________________________

Ed had debated heading back to the library, since he’d been so rudely dragged out that morning, but after glancing at the sun he turned back to the new apartment. Today had been a day of far too many unexpected revelations already. He needed some time to digest what he’d learned. 

Surprisingly, the man from the desk at the mission request office was indeed waiting by the door with a radio tucked under his arm. Well, he was actually pacing a bit hesitantly a few buildings down, glancing repeatedly between a piece of paper in his hands and the numbers written beside the doors.

After Ed had waved him down and collected the radio from him with assurances it would be repaired and ready for pickup by the following evening (it was probably just a loose wire or tube gone bad, which would only take him a few seconds with alchemy to restore, but no one needed to know that), he headed inside and slowly collapsed backward onto the floor, aiming his head for his knapsack (he’d forgotten to get furniture again).

Things were happening so fast. 

He rolled over onto his side, then sighed and sat up. It would probably be better to wait another day until after he’d gotten a look inside the tower, but he doubted he’d find anything on his first peek-through. If waiting a day wouldn’t make a difference in what he knew, he might as well take care of this task now, so he didn't keep her waiting. 

Turning over onto his knees, he dug through his bag until he retrieved a pen and his notebook, and began scribbling out a message before tearing it from the book. Rolling the paper tightly into a scroll, he slipped it into his pocket and headed back out the door. 

The sun was setting as he locked the door behind him, turning the city orange around him. Ed hadn’t seen much of it yet, but started meandering in a direction away from the populated areas. He’d have to hit a wooded patch eventually. The land Konoha claimed included a decent stretch of the surrounding forest, he knew. 

He walked long enough that he started to wonder if he’d gotten lost before sighing in relief when he spotted swaying trees over the buildings, growing more and more sparse, ahead. He came out in what he realized must be training grounds. It looked not unlike the state alchemist sparring grounds in Central, in that there was plenty of open space ready to be torn up in mock battles. 

Passing thoughtfully by a thick wooden post standing upright, scarred by hundreds of kicks and punches, he made his way to the largest tree on the edge of the clearing and plopped down underneath it.  
Giving another glance over the training grounds and nearest buildings to confirm no one was in sight, he leaned back against the tree, arms crossed behind his head, and started to whistle a melancholy tune.

It was an old Xingese lullaby, apparently. Ling had taught it to him in his typical teasing way. He made his way through the simple tune once, then started up again smoothly, running through it another three times before he heard a fluttering above him. Opening his eyes from where he’d closed them, he spotted the black shape of a bird outlined against the deep purple sky, nearly blending in with the branches in the dim light.

“Hey, Lan Fan. Got something for you to take to Ling.” The bird hopped and glided down, waving its wings slightly to arrest its fall so it landed on his knee. It let him slide the message into the harness on its back, then bit his fingers viciously when he pulled them away.

“Ow! I know! I won’t make you hang around so long next time. Now go back to Ling, you recalcitrant feather duster.” 

The bird glared, ‘yeah, she _definitely_ understands me,’ then took off again, quickly vanishing into the rapidly blackening night sky. He watched her circle once by searching for where she blocked out the early-rising stars, and then she was gone, presumably to the Land of Rice Paddies, where Ling was apparently busy hunting down the snake scientist himself while he had Ed running his chores. 

Getting to his feet, and moving to the center of the quiet training ground, Ed prayed to a god he didn’t believe in that he’d be able to find his way back to his new apartment from here in the dark. 

_______________________________

_Ling-_

_I’ve made it into Konoha. I hope this letter finds you safely at your destination as well._

_Things are definitely different here in the Land of Fire! I paid a visit to their library not long after arriving and read up on a unique local phenomenon. I learned some fascinating things about it I hadn’t ever heard before, and it made me want to share with everyone back home. However, I will hold off on telling them until I’m sure the mail will survive the trip there. _

_I haven’t had time to look into what you asked me to yet, but it’s next on my to-do list. I'm hoping to get a head start on it tomorrow._

_I’ll haven’t gone souvenir shopping yet either, but I’ll be looking for the one you recommended. If Konoha is famous for it, I don’t want to leave without at least trying to find it. _

_Please, don’t do anything stupider than usual. _

_-Ed_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whenever I need to come up with a background character's name, I just blatantly steal a name from a random manga I read in middle school. This chapter's background characters brought to you by Tokyo Mew Mew.


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's exactly as long as it took my once a week streak to end. Whoops. What can I say, work's been busy. And also I've been writing my chapters out of consecutive order so had to wait till I wrote the actual 'next' one. Here's a short one.

The Hokage Tower was full of people coming and going, many dressed in shinobi gear but a good number in civilian clothing as well. The common thread was that they were all too busy with whatever errands they were running themselves to pay much mind to what he was doing. 

However, it only took a moment’s glance around the room to realize loitering and peering around in obvious interest was going to start drawing attention far sooner than later regardless. He was the only one not projecting the clear air of someone who knew what they were doing and where they were going with no intentions of allowing themselves to be interrupted, and disrupting the flow of human traffic was a blatant interruption. 

But if there was one thing Ed had in spades, it was confidence. No one ever questioned if the Fullmetal Alchemist was ‘supposed to be’ somewhere when he showed up. But then again, that was usually because his pompous 12-year-old self got a perverse kind of glee (okay, he still did at 16, and he probably still would now if it had any chance of working) from throwing his weight around with just a flash of his watch and then watching people scramble to accommodate. 

This situation, however, called for something closer to the easy but nondescript confidence of 2nd Lieutenant Havoc or another career soldier than it did someone you had to stop and salute at when they stalked by. But even back when he had his face in newspapers and still wore his signature red coat, Ed’d often pass unnoticed when he both didn’t have a 7-foot suit of amour following him around and didn’t cause a scene as soon as he entered a room (which granted, wasn’t that often). 

Seamlessly stepping into the flow of harried office workers and irate townspeople, he made his way straight up the stairs, pausing briefly on each floor to examine offices labeled things like “Zoning and Land Use”, “Tax Disputes”, “Education”, and deliberately darting his eyes away from the one labeled “Customs and Immigration” for plausible deniability. 

It wasn’t that he expected to see a door labeled “S-Class Mission Files” or “Missing Nin Tracking and Retrieval” but he’d spent enough nights crashing at the Hughes’ apartment in Central to pick up over dinner conversation what sorts of vague terms might denote that something interesting could be found behind the frosted glass panel set in each door.

When he stepped onto the landing approaching the uppermost floor, a figure dropped down from above, landing soundlessly barely two feet in front of Ed. He jerked back in shock at the man’s sudden appearance, swearing and barely aborting from raising his arms in an instinctive fighting stance that would have been suspicious in the untrained civilian he was supposed to be. If he truly had been, he might have tripped backwards down the stairs as well. 

The newcomer was dressed in tight-fitting black clothing, with a gray flak vest that was thinner and more armor-like than the bulky green ones he’d seen local shinobi wearing. Most disconcertingly, the man’s face was entirely hidden behind a smooth white porcelain mask resembling a child’s drawing of a cat or fox or some other pointed-eared animal. Each eye was limned in red paint as brilliant as blood.

The man allowed Ed to retreat down several steps, putting more distance between them, before speaking.

”The Hokage is available by appointment only.” The voice was firm, not yet promising violence, but clear in the possibility of it. 

Ed gave the masked man a wary once-over. “I’d assumed as much. And that works out just fine, because--”

“You do not have an appointment.” While his facial expression was unreadable behind the mask, Ed didn’t need to see it to read the ‘and don’t try to argue otherwise’ in the guard’s posture and tone of voice. 

“Yeah, I was trying to tell you that I’m not looking for the Hokage. I’m trying to find Masaya? ...Sorry, I don’t actually know his family name. He was recommended by a mutual acquaintance and I was told he’d probably be able to help me out with some paperwork issues.”

The guard didn’t respond, merely shifted more firmly in front of Ed, blocking the stairs.

“Uh...I haven’t found him yet, so I was planning on looking upstairs. Are there more offices up there besides the Hokage’s?”

The guard didn’t respond to the question, but instead tilted his head, as though listening to something. Then he was beside Ed, bracketing him with an out-flung arm so that both their backs pressed against the wall. 

“Hey! What gives?!” Ed pushed on the man’s arm to move it away but it held firm.

Then Ed heard footsteps on the stairs above and another man appeared. This one was wearing a grey, long-sleeved jacket more in the style of the typical green vests than the guard’s grey vest. A white armband worn on the newcomer’s upper arm bore the kanji for “Office of the Hokage”. This man also wore a mask, but his was of plain, unpainted carved wood. 

He paused for a moment at the sight of the two already in the stairwell but then hurried past using the space cleared when the guard had pushed Ed out of the way and against the wall -- clearly for this exact purpose, to pass.

The guard waited for the other man to move out of sight before pulling his arm back to his side. Ed needlessly brushed at the front of his shirt, glaring as the guard repositioned himself in the middle of the stairway ahead of Ed, blocking off the path once again.

“Masaya Aoyama works on the third floor,” he stated tonelessly, continuing the earlier conversation without a beat. 

“...Right. Well, I’ll head down there, then.”

Ed turned and trotted back down the stairs, gritting his teeth. Well, if all that was up there was the Hokage’s office, he didn’t have a need to go there anyway. There wouldn’t be any reason for the Hokage to keep files in his office for any longer than it took him to read them the first time around, after all.

__________

Ed stomped back downstairs to the office he’d seen labeled Customs and Immigration, only to be informed, ‘No, there isn’t a Masaya working in this office,’ and ‘No, this isn’t the third floor, it’s the second,’ then stomped his way back up to the third. 

Masaya, it turns out, worked in the Agriculture department, but he’d transferred from Customs (specifically agricultural goods, naturally) and was aware enough from previously working in the shared office to know what paperwork Ed would need to fill out on the Immigration side to finalize his temporary visa. Together they went down to the second floor, again, to collect the paperwork. Masaya insisted on bringing it back to his desk on the third to fill out. Then they made the trip once again to collect an additional copy when Masaya insisted they needed to start over with a fresh sheet.

“It’s not like it’s an inconvenience,” he smiled, completely oblivious to Ed’s renewed ire, as he tapped the papers on the edge of the desk to straighten them once they’d finished. “You need to go down to floor two before you get to the ground floor anyway.” 

“That’s not why I’m annoyed! We didn’t need to even––forget it, it doesn’t matter. I _am_ grateful for your help. And uh, for actually filling it out for me.”

“Please don’t take offense, but I knew they wouldn’t accept it with your handwriting.”

“Right.” Ed waggled the fingers of his right hand, encased in a glove as usual. “Old injury. My fingers aren’t as dexterous on this hand. I’m not going to be dropping anything, but I probably won’t be playing an instrument either.” He shrugged in a ‘what can you do’ way. “It’s good enough for me. People who know me can read my handwriting, but then they’ve had practice.” 

“In any case, I’m glad to help. Any friend of Ichigo’s is a friend of mine. Annnd it looks like you’re in luck! You may not have to make a stop on the second floor after all.” 

A man had just walked in wearing the same long-sleeved grey jacket with an armband as the man who’d passed Ed on the stairs, although this one wasn’t wearing a mask. He couldn’t have been the same man, however, as the height and built were both wrong. Masaya handed the man a fat file folder, with Ed’s paperwork lying on top. 

“Would you mind just dropping this top one off at Immigration? It doesn’t go with the others.” The man in gray nodded, grabbing the document off the top in one hand and tucked the folder under his other arm before walking off with a yawn. 

Seeing Ed’s speculative look, Masaya clarified, “He’s a runner. They transport paperwork between departments here in the tower and other administrative sites around the village.” He leaned in closer, whispering behind a hand, (_’Yep, definitely Ichigo’s friend, both filthy gossips’_) “The intelligence division wears grey too. You know, the spies and torturers.”

Continuing at a normal volume, he went on, “but runners aren’t like that. Sometimes they get genin to do it, or more usually ‘desk ninja’ and the occasional civilian employee, but,” he shrugged, “you can always recognize them by the armband. If you need to get a message to someone, try flagging one down in the street. Sometimes they’ll make a detour for that kind of stuff if they’re bored or for a few ryo on the side.”

“I saw one earlier coming from the top floors. He was wearing the armband but he also had on a wooden mask.”

Masaya’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Really? Well, those ones are a bit different. They aren’t a typical sight, I’ll admit. Most of the stuff runners ferry isn’t all that sensitive of information. But when stuff is being delivered to the intelligence division or it’s ‘Hokage’s eyes only’, the runners wear a mask. They don’t like people knowing who actually has the clearance to carry those things, for safety reasons.”

Ed nodded slowly, half-turning towards the door the runner had vanished through, already deep in thought. “Makes sense. Thanks again, Masaya.”

Masaya smiled. “Of course! And tell Ichigo I said ‘hi’.”


	9. The Last Two Years: Ling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed, Ling, and Envy have been in the Elemental Countries for just over two years when Ed first enters Konoha. So what exactly were they all doing that whole time? Well, we sort of have an idea of what Ed was doing, but Ling was a little more tight-lipped about his own investigations. Here's one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am once again failing to move the plot forward. Please forgive me. I just wanted more Ling, but I haven't really gotten his Otogakure scenes down yet. 
> 
> Also, I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas! And/or Hanukkah. I ate so much food and my only regret is that I didn't eat more.

_Some point over the previous two years_

__________

Ling stepped in front of the figure on the road, forcing him to halt. 

“Are you Sasori of the Red Sand?”

They stood on a dusty road leading out of a small border town straddling Fire and Wind countries. The current peace was fragile, the ceasefire upheld primarily by both nations’ shinobi avoiding any interaction at all whenever possible, which left towns like this one to fend for themselves against external threats. Neither nation would risk being accused of running operations on the other’s soil, breaking the hard-won peace, because they accidentally crossed the border for something as trivial as clearing out riffraff in a podunk town that didn’t contribute anything economically to their Hidden Village or nation as a whole. And bandits and missing-nin took full advantage of the lawless no man’s land this created.

Concealed as he was in a neck-to-ankle black cloak decorated with only a few red clouds, and face obscured by a wide-brimmed straw hat, it was hard to discern anything of the man’s features or appearance, beyond that he was slight-figured, shorter and less broad even than Ling. He shifted, grip tightening around his shopping bag. Whatever was inside clattered.

“Move out of my way. The air isn’t as dry this far out from Suna; it doesn’t preserve as well, and I’ve got time-sensitive materials waiting for me.”

Ling smiled, but didn’t move.

“I have to say, earning such an intimidating name for feats you performed before you even hit puberty! The shinobi here are really something else.”

Sasori dropped his bag at his feet, freeing up that hand. “So you’ve come to challenge me, then. Am I as impressive in person as you were hoping?” 

Ling rocked back casually on his heels. “What actually drew me to seek you out were the rumors that despite abandoning your village over a decade and a half ago, you don’t appear to have aged a day since.” 

Sasori removed his hat, revealing a smooth, young face as flawless as a doll’s, cheekbones and jawline still slightly rounded with baby fat, and smirked. From looks alone, he couldn’t have been older than 14. “So you’ve come to admire my art.”

Ling hummed, and shrugged. “It was a possibility. But mostly I just needed to be sure. And I can tell now you’re nothing I haven’t seen before.”

The boy’s smirk immediately twisted in an ugly scowl. “Liar. There is _no one_ in the Elemental Nations who has achieved what I have.” 

Ling just laughed. “You’re not the first I’ve met like you. You’re not even the second! I guess it’s true what they say about there being no such thing as original art.” 

“And just what is it you think I am anyway, boy?” he snarled. “Tell me that much.”

“Someone who lost their original body and replaced it with that manikin you’re wearing right now. I’m guessing you must have some kind of blood seal too, to keep your soul attached.”

Sasori nodded approvingly, a note of appreciation in his tone as he said, “So you do know something after all. By blood seal, I presume you mean this.” The boy –– or rather, man, in soul if not in body –– shrugged the cloak off, allowing it drop to the hard-packed earth. He wore no shirt underneath, and the body revealed wasn’t of as fine quality as the face –– it was clearly artificial, with visible seams. The chest cavity was even wide open, revealing some sort of cable coiled inside. 

A cylinder was fitted into a specially-designed compartment on the left side of the chest, directly over where the heart would be on a human body. It was inscribed neatly with the kanji for ‘Sasori’, as if it might be misplaced and needed a label. Additional swooping lines and symbols encircled the name in a deliberate manner that nonetheless looked very different from the few transmutation and purification circles Ling recognized. The ink was a rust color that may, or may not, have been blood. 

“This cylinder contains my chakra core, the only organic piece of me that remains. And this seal connects ‘myself’ to my power. But you are wrong to assume I was so careless as to _lose_ my original body. I abandoned it as soon as I grew enough in skill to do so! True art is eternal. This puppet body I’ve created will never change or grow old or die. It will stay young and beautiful forever for future generations to admire. And I shall be there too, accepting my due as the greatest artist in history.”

Ling frowned, shaking his head. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but what you’ve created isn’t eternal. Souls aren’t meant to be housed in man-made containers. Pretty soon it will reject that false body of yours like a transplanted organ, and your soul will scatter to the winds with nothing to hold it to this plane.” 

Now it was Sasori’s turn to frown. “I don’t believe you. By your own admission, this puppet has housed my core for 15 years already. What’s 15 more? 50 more? A thousand? And if I grow weary of this body, I can easily place my core into another.”

Ling shrugged. “I don’t have the time to wait around and find out when your particular expiration date is. Your version of eternal life is flawed enough that I’ve already discarded it as a viable option. That body of yours may not bleed or grow ill, but it can’t heal either. 

“Honestly, I’m surprised you showed me your seal so easily. Don’t you remember that I told you I’ve met others the same as you?” He tapped a finger against his own heart, identical to the spot where the cylinder rested in Sasori’s chest. “I’d probably need to puncture the core to be sure, if that’s what’s generating your chakra, but those in your situation are almost _more_ fragile than those of us with human bodies.” His eyes burned into Sasori’s. “All it takes is a _scratch_ to shake your soul loose.”

Sasori kicked the discarded cloak away with a foot and raised an arm, palm facing out. “You presume again. This time in believing I’d let you get close enough to touch it.” There was a clunk and whir of machinery juddering into position.

In a flash, Ling leapt to the side just in time to avoid a huge gout of flame hot enough to send out heat lines distorting the air between them. It poured from a pipe that had opened in the puppet’s right hand, presumably running down the arm into the main body. 

Ling ducked behind a boulder just off the path and the stream of fire followed after him, flames sprouting out on either side of the rock around him. The flames increased in intensity, wrapping themselves further around the edges of the stone, and causing Ling to grow uncomfortably hot, but though the flames persisted, they weren’t enough to reach him. When the roar of the flames eventually cut off, he heard the same clunk-whir as before in the ensuing silence.

Eyes widening, he rolled out from behind the rock and dashed away with a curse as a high pressure stream of water cut the boulder in half as easily as a hot knife through butter. The top half groaned as it grinded against itself, then slid to the ground with a boom. Ling grimaced. Had he stayed where he was, he would have been cut in two as well.

He pulled his sword free from its scabbard on his back, leaving a second in a separate scabbard at his hip, and raised both hands in front of him in a half-hearted calming gesture. “This is really unnecessary, you know. I didn’t intent it as a threat, but as a warning. I don’t have any desire to fight.”

Sasori lowered his hand, the left one this time, and a few drips of water trickled out of the hole in the palm. “Unfortunately for you, the feeling isn’t mutual.

“I don’t have time for a long game of tag with an uncultured child. However, allow me to educate you before your end. If you don’t appreciate the artistry of a souled puppet, maybe you’d prefer my human puppets. They don’t have souls, but they are anything but artificial.” With a clunk and a whir, the opening in the puppet’s palm closed, and Sasori reached behind him, pulling his arm back with a scroll in his hand. He tossed it high and it unraveled in mid-air. Even as Ling recognized it as one of this world’s shinobi’s storage scrolls, at least three dozen shapes poured out.

He couldn’t suppress a full body shiver at how _wrong_ they felt. These were corpses. Spider silk-thin strings of chakra, invisible to his eyes but not to his senses, stretched from a spinning mechanism that opened in the right side of Sasori’s chest out to each corpse puppet, connecting to nerves to make limbs lift and fingers clench, and driving into the corpses’ chakra pathways, filling them up like a bellows and sluggishly restarting the flow once more. But this was no reanimation. No, it was far closer to watching a fish that had already been beheaded and gutted start to flop on the cutting board after a sprinkle of salt. 

“Dodge _them_, if you can.”

Ling tried. Slicing two puppets cleanly in half with a swing of his blade, he took a heavy blow to the side from a third with a chakra-enhanced punch. Ducking under a swipe from a fourth, he was clipped by the concussive blast of a fireball forcibly drawn out of the chakra pathways of a fifth -- not as deadly as the jet of flame Sasori had tried earlier, but enough to singe his sleeve and leave his shoulder bloody and bruised. A hand-made grenade -- he always carried at least one at all times -- took out several, but not enough. If he tried to stand his ground, he would rapidly become encircled. 

Taking in the sheer number of opponents descending on him, he turned and ran. Behind him, Sasori smirked, then trailed dispassionately after. 

__________

Ling was pursued uphill over the increasingly rocky landscape, all the way to the base of a short cliff face, his only escape a good fifteen feet over his head. Climbing it or even jumping it would be nothing for a trained ninja, but for a chakra-less swordsman under pursuit, it presented an ostensibly insurmountable barrier. 

Ling paused several yards away, and turned to face the oncoming wave of puppet corpses, Sasori standing behind them all, out of reach.

The mob of corpses sped closer, the space between each puppet becoming smaller and smaller as they converged on him until they appeared as only a great mass of outstretched arms covered in mummified grey skin, black nails reaching to tear into flesh, gaping jaws dropping open and sizzling with fire, lightning, and boiling mud. Ling grimly watched them come, replacing the blade he carried and drawing the second instead. 

Something he had found since arriving here was that ninja often underestimated what the human body was capable of without the help of chakra. They were as physically fit as anyone who depended on their bodies to make their living, but they never ran for days without resorting to chakra to boost their endurance, or devoted time and effort to sincerely build muscle when extra chakra thrown behind a punch produced the same result. So they often assumed many physical feats were simply not possible without chakra. But the shinobi of Xing had never had chakra at their disposal, and Ling’s bodyguards took their duty of keeping their clan heir alive very seriously. And that meant ensuring he could survive a fight even when they weren’t around. 

Ling turned and ran straight up the rock wall. Four long strides up, Ling kicked off hard with his next step, propelling himself out over the crowd of enemies below. Upside-down and mid-air, he swung the sword in his hands, sending a gleaming arc of light curving off the edge of the blade. The blade of light slashed through the air with an audible thrum and carved a furrow into the bare earth between the mob of puppets, now crushed against the wall as their momentum carried them forward, and Sasori behind them. And in glorious synchronization, each and every puppet collapsed, the chakra strings powering them cut through. Ling allowed himself a brief, satisfied smile.

Twisting his body through the air so he face upright again, now turned toward the mass of collapsed human marionettes, Ling swung two more times rapidly before gravity fully reclaimed its hold and brought his feet heavily to the dirt. These strokes also sent out arcs of light that, when they touched, wrapped around each other, combining into a screaming maelstrom of whirling energy that burst into the pile of bodies, and sent pieces exploding violently upward in a macabre display. 

It left a bad taste in Ling’s mouth to treat human remains so callously, but his survival instinct had always been far stronger than his propriety.

He turned to face Sasori, that same instinct telling him it wasn’t a good idea to keep his back to the puppetmaster, even when his puppets were destroyed. 

“What did you do?” The man growled lowly, sending out new chakra strings. Ling felt a handful of partially intact bodies stand up clumsily, but most were too damaged to so easily be pulled together again, and Sasori dropped those in frustration.

Ling lifted his sword and waved it. “Pretty nifty, right? It’s a chakra saber. To my understanding, they’re very rare. But the way it cut through your chakra strings from a distance like that?” He whistled appreciatively. “Boy, am I glad I managed to acquire one! Even if it’s a real pain to not be able to charge it up on my own. Having to beg any passing ninja is really degrading!”

Sasori’s mouth twitched, unsure whether to frown or smile. “You chastised me earlier for revealing my weak point, but now you so easily let slip that in order to defeat you, all I need to do is _wait_ for your blade to run out of charge, and you’ll be defenseless once again against my puppetry technique. How pitiful.”

Ling tutted. “Now you’re the one making assumptions.” He grinned, pulling his original blade out and striking a dual-wielding pose. “What makes you think I need anywhere near that long to kill you?” 

__________

Ling charged headlong at the puppet-wielder and felt Sasori tug the few remaining puppets at him, but even being dragged, they didn’t have his speed and wouldn’t intercept in time. Sasori recognized it too, and rather than send out fresh strings when another swipe from Ling's blade cut them once again, instead unwound the chain inside his body’s chest cavity. Ling’s eyes widened when they saw the sharp barb on the tip, glistening with a sheen of what he knew was far more likely to be poison than machine oil. It shot out and Ling dodged to the side. 

It followed. 

Bracing his blades in front of him in an 'x', he prevented the dripping, pointed tip from reaching his face, but now facing Sasori partially from the side from the first time, he saw the strange metal contraption on the puppet’s back. _That_ was where Sasori had pulled the puppet storage scroll from, and connecting the noise he’d heard beforehand to the same sound he’d heard before the fire and water attacks, it had likely contained other scrolls at the start of the fight before the elements inside had been used up and the empty scrolls dropped. But most importantly, there was still one scroll remaining. 

Forcing the writhing spear point to the ground through sheer strength, he jammed both blades several inches into the earth diagonally over it, pinning it in place, then rushed Sasori in a full body tackle. When the two collided, he quickly reached under him, grabbed for the scroll and yanked it free, accompanied by a screaming groan from the protesting machinery that connected the scroll’s contents to the puppet’s inner workings. He tossed the scroll far to the side out of reach of either of them before the smaller man could react or throw him off. 

"You'll regret that," Sasori spat. "You don't have your swords anymore, but my _whole body_ is a weapon."

So saying, two poles unfolded from the small of his back and spread on either side of him, unfurling like a deadly flower to reveal a fan of blades on each side. The blades on the furthest side pushed his body up off the ground, the blades on the near side thrusting upwards. When he was fully sat up, the blades began to spin, caging Ling in place from either side. 

Sasori grabbed Ling by the upper arms, preventing him from retreating backwards. “You know nothing and you are nothing. I will kill you here and now, and I will live forever.”

A clatter rang out as Ling’s swords went flying behind them as the barbed cable finally pulled free. It whipped around and rushed back in their direction. Ling threw the both of them to the side with all his weight, and the tip of the blade tore through his side, barely missing a fatal blow directly through him. The right-most propeller blades collided with the ground as they toppled, digging up chunks of earth before the blades bent and broke off, shrapnel flying off in three directions. The blades on the left sliced the barbed tip clean off the cable as it passed by, then slowed to a stop.

Ling collapsed on top of Sasori, then laughed lightly. “I win.”

Sasori eyed the teen dubiously. “You may have dodged a death blow, but you’ve been struck by a poisoned blade and I am hardly defeated. Unlike puppets, human bodies do not hold up so well against biological agents.”

Ling pushed himself onto his hands over Sasori, and grinned more widely. “Then for once I’m glad to say I come from a very competitive family. This isn’t the first time I’ve been poisoned, and I’ve built up quite the immunity.

“As for defeating you, you have no more scrolls, no more blades, and only a handful of broken puppets remaining. While I-”

In one swift movement, Ling lifted a bloody hand grasping a sheered off piece of propeller blade and drove it straight down through the other's core, neatly slicing through the kanji for ‘Sasori’ in the process. Purple fluid bubbled up around the edges of the blade. 

Ling sat back on his haunches, breathing heavily, and inspected the body. This wasn’t the first time he’d killed. It wasn’t something he was particularly proud of, nor something he was ashamed of. It was just a fact -- something that had been necessary to defend his life, and by extension, the continued welfare of his clan in the harsh dog-eat-dog court of Xing. But he had been curious about whether he would notice any discernible difference in Sasori after ‘death’. 

The man hadn’t been ‘alive’ in the commonly accepted definition of the word, after all, and he didn’t register as either living or human to Ling’s chi-sensing either, even as he had been able to sense his chakra. But the puppet left behind did seem empty somehow, as if it were only now truly the object it always had been and not the vessel for something more. It seemed having a soul did make a difference after all. 

“You know,” he commented to the lifeless puppet. “I’ve heard about you Akatsuki before. Everyone who knows enough, knows to recognize those cloaks. But not everyone notices the rings.”

Lifting the left hand of the puppet, he slid off the thick purple ring worn on the thumb, wincing as the wound in his own palm flexed. He rolled it back and forth in his fingers for a moment. “That makes me think these must be important somehow.”

He dropped the ring into a pocket, then standing, stumbled over to his swords. After replacing each sword into its own scabbard, he simply stood for a moment, pressing both hands against the wound in his side, grimacing in pain. “But a doctor first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why didn't Sasori bring out the Third Kazekage puppet? Yeah, he has it already, but maybe he was making some upgrades and that's what the supplies were for. Or maybe he just didn't feel the need to bring it out for some weird teen who's not even a ninja. 
> 
> Akatsuki. Sigh. These people. I guess the group's still in the fledgling stages here? Deidara and Hidan are the last two recruited, so they aren't members yet. The Uchiha massacre hasn’t happened yet either in this fic, so no Itachi. Orochimaru supposedly was kicked out for trying to steal Itachi’s eyes, but my Orochimaru is already forming Otogakure, so in this AU I guess he was never in Akatsuki at all. I’m not sure why he’d join anyway, doesn’t seem to align with his goals. Nagato-as-Pain, Konan, Obito-as-Tobi, Zetsu, yes all accounted for. The Naruto wiki says Obito apparently personally recruited Kisame to the Eye of the Moon agenda from the very get-go, so we’ll say he’s already a member. Which just leaves Kakuzu…


	10. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has over 150 kudos! It's so exciting :) Thanks, everyone!

It was approaching two weeks later before Ed saw the kid again. He’d settled into a bit of a routine, opening his “shop” up early each morning to take in broken items, and then closing up mid-afternoon (it’s not like he had a lot of customers, anyway) to head over to the library, where he’d camp himself until the librarians shooed him out for the night. 

A few times he’d used his afternoon to case various routes to and from the Hokage Tower and the Intelligence Division building instead, trying to catch a glimpse of one of the high-clearance runners under the guise of exploring his new temporary home, but he hadn’t had much luck on that front. Mostly because Kakashi would somehow always find him, and offer to play tour guide. Strangely, the man never actually seemed that interested in doing it even while he was inviting himself on Ed’s walks, but when Ed would press that he didn’t want to take up Kakashi’s time and could find his own way around, the man would simply reply, “Trust me, I don’t have anything better to do.”

In the evening, he’d alchemically repair all the items brought in earlier that day, sorting them by how long he’d _told_ the customer he’d need, and then pass out on his recently acquired futon. 

It was when he was walking back to his apartment one evening that he saw a flash of orange just visible through the entryway at one of the many food stalls in Konoha and felt his fists clench involuntarily. There was only one person he’d met who wore that obnoxious shade. Stomping over, he whipped back the curtain divider to find the little blond boy bouncing excitedly on his knees on his seat at the counter as he waited for his food.

“You!” He snarled, pointing a finger at the kid in accusation.

The kid jumped, but grinned widely when he turned and saw it was Ed standing behind him. 

“Hey! It’s you again! I wanted to find you to ask you about-” 

“Where is it?!” Ed demanded, cutting him off. 

The kid’s smile wilted, the happiness in his eyes replaced with wary confusion. “What? Where’s-”

“My watch, you little thief! I know you took it.”

“Hey!” Ed noticed for the first time the other man sitting at the counter. He looked to be about the same age as Ed or just a year or two older. His skin was noticeably darker than most of the others Ed had encountered in Fire Country, leaving him to guess the man was also an immigrant, although probably not first generation judging by the Konoha headband. The look of indignation on his face was only enhanced by the prominent scar cutting across his nose and extending under his eyes.

“Do you have any proof Naruto took your watch?”

Ed paused, scowling. “Well, no, but it went missing right after he ran into me-”

“Just because Naruto is-” The man cut himself off, lips pursing. “He’s not responsible for _everything_ that goes wrong in this village, especially not random civilians _losing_ their own property-!”

Just before Ed burst in with another angry retort, Naruto cut them both off. “He didn’t lose it. I did. I took it, and I went into the woods to look at it and I dropped it and I lost it...Sorry, Iruka, Edw-, uh, Mr. Elric.” The kid’s face was blooming red with embarrassment and shame, and he wouldn’t meet either of their eyes. 

Iruka’s anger dropped into dismay, then came roaring up again. “Naruto! You can’t keep doing this! I took you here because you promised you’d behave this week!”

The kid stood up on his chair, slapping his hands down on the counter, eyes squeezed tightly shut. “I _was_ good! I did that _before_ I promised you, and I’ve been in class all week and did all my homework, just like you asked!” 

The stall owner emerged from the kitchen area, valiantly pretending he hadn’t heard the entire argument, holding two bowls of ramen in his hands. 

Naruto sat back down and dejectedly dropped his head onto the counter, face turned to face the teen. “Do I still get my ramen?”

The other man sighed, pushing up his headband and kneading his forehead. “Yes.” He jabbed a finger at the kid. “But after school tomorrow we’re going to go out to where you lost this man’s watch and find it, got it?” 

Naruto bit his lip. He didn’t want to bring anyone, not even Iruka, who was sorta nicer than the other adults even if he yelled a lot, to his secret hiding spot. But he reluctantly nodded. “But, uh...I’m not sure I remember _exactly_ where I lost it,” he appended in what he hoped was a convincing tone.

They both turned to look at Ed, who sighed deeply. “It’s fine.” 

It wasn’t fine. But it’s not like he’d ever forget what the watch was intended to remind him, when every single thing in this world stood as its own reminder. And it was meaningless as an identifier here anyway. 

He sat down on the other side of Naruto, and as the stall owner placed down the bowls in front of the kid and the other teen -- he guessed the kid’s...foster brother? Minder? -- he added, “I’ll have whatever they’re having,” and dropped a handful of coin on the counter. 

__________

“So you’re what, six?”

Naruto scowled. “Seven! I’ve been at the ninja academy for a whole year already,” he added self-importantly.

“Seven, huh.” Ed crossed his arms and tilted his head back in thought. “So when I was your age...that was just before I dropped out of school.”

The ninja with the scar on his face did a rather spectacular spit-take. ‘Disgusting and impressive’, Ed noted to himself appreciatively. ‘But kind of a waste of ramen.’

“W-what?” The flustered chunin grabbed the kid’s shoulders, roughly but protectively, and pulled him closer to himself, glaring at the now smirking alchemist beside them. “Naruto, don’t listen to him.” Judging by the starry eyed look the kid was now giving him, Ed guessed it was too late and the kid was already enraptured by the glamorous thought of ‘no more school ever again’. 

The two Konoha nin (well, ‘pre-nin’ he guessed in the case of Naruto) began to argue, talking over each other in increasing levels of volume. 

“Everyone knows all the really strong ninja graduate early-” 

“Dropping out is _not_ the same thing as graduating early, and-” 

“I’m gonna be Hokage, and that means I need to focus on learning really awesome jutsu, not all this dumb baby-” 

“-really think anyone will take seriously a Hokage who never learned the basic-”

As the volume got a little grating, Ed felt the need to cut in.

“It’s not what you’re imagining, kid.” 

The arguing cut off as both turned to look at him. Ed relished making them wait while he slurped up another mouthful of noodles and swallowed before speaking. 

“I didn’t quit school so I could run around doing whatever I wanted all day.” Ed made a vague gesture with his hand, trying to remember what non-genius kids with parents did with their free time. “Like, uh, stealing pies off windowsills and playing pranks on the neighbors or whatever.” 

The maybe-a-babysitter-but-wait-maybe-its-his-teacher shot the kid a significant look, one that clearly wanted to be triumphant but wasn’t ready to fully commit itself until he heard the rest of Ed’s reasoning. Ed decided to hurry up and put the guy’s indecision out of its misery. 

“I took an apprenticeship.” Naruto looked confused, while the older teen looked visibly surprised and more than a bit curious. 

“What’s an apprenticeship?” the kid, asked, face screwing up in confusion as he carefully pronounced the new word.

Ed put on his spookiest expression and leaned in close to the kid’s suddenly apprehensive face. “Imagine a class...where you’re the only student...and that never ends!” 

He burst into laughter at Naruto’s horrified expression. Iruka sighed, and taking pity on the kid, explained further. “At the ninja academy, we try to make sure every student who graduates leaves with at least a basic understanding of _all_ subjects, not just the ones they’re good at. That way, they know how to fight against an enemy, or alongside a teammate, who’s strong in an area they might not be.” He paused to see if the kid was following along. 

Naruto nodded seriously. “Sure, sure.” He smacked a fist into his palm decisively. “So that means, in an apprenticeship-! Uh…” He blushed and trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck. “What does it mean, Iruka-sensei?” 

“An apprenticeship involves a master of a specific skill taking on a student to train them in that skill exclusively, so they can become a master too. It’s very common for craftsmen. But apprenticeships normally only happen with really rare specialties when they involve ninja arts. When an Uchiha student awakes their sharingan early, for example, they are often withdrawn from the academy to be apprenticed to an older clan member until they learn to use it properly.” 

The young man frowned slightly in thought. “I don’t really approve of isolating a student from their peers while they’re still a pre-genin, but I’ll admit I wouldn’t have the first idea of how to teach a student how to actually use doujutsu in a practical rather than theoretical sense.” 

The stars were back in the kid’s eyes in full force. “Wow, that’s pretty neat! So that’s what happened to you, Ed?”

Ed snorted. “Close enough. A teacher wasn’t found for me, though. I found my own teacher.” At the lifted eyebrow Iruka gave him, Ed went on. 

“I grew up in a tiny farming community with a one-room schoolhouse. Nothing like the set up you have here,” he said. “They considered it a job well-done if a kid left knowing the name of the Fuhr--local Daimyo and how to sign their own name, and here I was, able to read and write in multiple languages and already starting to teach myself chemistry and geometry out of the books from Dad's study. There wasn’t much I could learn from the local school, unless I was interested in advice on the best diet for a sick sheep.

“After Dad left and Mom died...well, our neighbor kept me fed and clothed, but two years of that was long enough to know I didn’t want to be dependent on Granny forever. So I headed to the biggest town I could find and kinda forced myself on Teacher.” He laughed. “I camped outside her house until she agreed to take me on! I moved in with her, and for the next three years, every moment I was awake, I was studying or training.

“I was considered a bit of a prodigy,” he announced proudly. “But I was pretty dumb in other respects, so I decided I’d learned everything I needed to at that point and left.

“Teacher never came after me because she didn’t believe in wasting effort on ungrateful brats who snuck away in the dead of night without bothering to even say goodbye.” He smiled ruefully, then shuddered. “But I’d do it a thousand times more before facing whatever she had planned for her ‘graduation’ exam.” 

“Wow! I never realized being a repairman required such intense training!” Naruto exclaimed. 

Ed blanched. “Well, you know...gotta know how to fix anything someone brings to you! Woodworking and metalworking are different from tailoring, and all three are very different from working with electronics.”

Iruka appeared politely interested. “So you must run the repair shop I’ve seen the flyers for.” 

“Yes,” Ed agreed, eager to turn the conversation to a different subject. 

Naruto’s face screwed up in confusion. “But why would you need to train at all, if you can just use your s-” At Ed’s glare, the younger blond’s eyes widened in comprehension, and glancing to make sure his teacher wasn’t looking, quickly nodded and mimed zipping his lips closed. 

Pushing his now empty bowl aside, Ed stood before he or Naruto could let something else stupid slip. “I’d better head out.”

Iruka stood as well, grabbing Naruto by the arm to pull him out of his seat, then forcing his head down in a bow. “I apologize again for Naruto. I still intend to make him find the watch he took from you.”

Naruto shoved his teacher’s arm off, then hesitated before bowing again himself, much quicker and shallower. 

“Is it really a watch? Why doesn’t it open?” He questioned before Ed could leave.

“Because it’s _my_ watch, and I don’t want anyone else using it. So I welded it shut.”

“Oh, I thought it might have been for a prank,” Naruto trailed off.

Iruka just appeared a bit amused. “What’s the point in carrying a watch you can’t look at?”

“I’m a repairman, aren’t I? I can get it open again anytime I want.”

Waving a casual goodbye over his shoulder, the blond dipped out through the curtain and back into the evening.

Kakashi watched him leave from where he’d been perched on the roof of the stall, listening in. He’d been mostly leaving the blond to his own devices, because as strange as he was, he didn’t seem to have any ill-intent toward the village. Kakashi’d been apprehensive when he’d approached the jinchuriki (Sensei’s _son_) at Ichiraku's, but nothing had come of it. Except that story he’d told the academy chunin did _not_ match his story to the gate guards about growing up on the road. And what kind of poor farmers kept a home library, especially one with books in multiple languages?

The teen _was_ a repairman; Kakashi had dropped off a chipped sword to be fixed while under a henge, and had gotten it back in pristine condition. But he may have another reason for being here in Konoha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess in canon, Ed and Al only trained with Izumi for a few months, which strikes me as a little ridiculous. So I, clearly, changed that. Here, they don't leave Dublith until maybe a handful of months before attempting human transmutation (just enough time to prepare).


	11. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally figured out why that one end note kept shifting to whatever was the newest chapter (why am I so dumb), so I moved it to the end of chapter 3/"Chapter 2".

The sun had risen and set more than a dozen times since the quiet of the small clearing had last been disturbed, its shifting light sending shadows flickering through the shivering leaves of the treetops, and occasionally glinting off polished metal partially hidden in the grass carpeting the forest floor. A snake slithered over the shining object lying there. It seemed, to the forest, that it would continue to lie there undisturbed for the passing of a season or more, when suddenly the grass parted and the snuffling black nose of a dog found it. The dog, which wore a blue bandana bearing a henohenomoheji, pawed at the object a few times, sending it rocking up on its side before falling back down.

“Found it, Boss.”

A hand clad in a black, fingerless glove reached down and the dog dropped the object, now slightly covered in drool, into the waiting palm.

While Naruto might not know Kakashi existed, Kakashi hadn’t been completely ignoring the boy’s existence in return. Which meant he’d made a point of knowing where his sensei's son liked to hide when he left the protection of the occupied districts for the more secluded village outskirts. It also meant Kakashi had a much easier time finding where Naruto had likely dropped the missing watch than poor Iruka-sensei, who Kakashi knew was at that very moment diligently, and fruitlessly, searching the wrong section of the woods, led there by Naruto.

Hefting the watch in his hand, he inspected the sealed edges, wondering what the real reason Ed had for welding it closed was. ‘Whatever it is,’ he thought, slipping the watch into a pocket on his vest, ‘he’s certainly not getting it back until I get a look.’ 

________

“Hey! We had this field reserved.”

Ed paused in his workout to turn a curious gaze to the two Konoha nin -- chunin, he was now able to tell by their vests -- who’d shouted out to him as they approached across the field. 

He’d decided to check out the training ground he’d spotted his second day in the village, not wanting to get too out of shape, and had been practicing his roundhouse kicks against one of the squat wooden posts set up for that purpose when he’d been interrupted.

“Oh, sorry,” he called back. He glanced around. “Uh, is there a sign-up sheet somewhere? I didn’t see it.”

As the two chunin drew closer, one with shaggy brown hair and the other with black hair pulled into a short ponytail, the brunet let out a loud, “Hold on a second, you’re not even a shinobi!” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder, indicating back toward the village center. “Get out of here!”

Ed frowned. “What’s the big deal? Why should it matter if I am or not?”

The ponytailed chunin frowned back, crossing his arms. “Training grounds are for shinobi use only.”

Ed gave one last kick to the post, putting real force behind the hit, before stepping away. “Fine. Point me to wherever civilians are allowed to practice.” 

Both chunin glanced at each other. “Try your backyard, kid.”

Ed boiled. “I’m not a freaking kid. I’m 18! I might even be older than you!”

The ponytailed chunin sighed. “Alright, sorry man. But civilians can’t use the training grounds. You could get hurt, like, tripping over an exploding tag or something. You don’t need to train anyway.” He jabbed a thumb at his chest. “It’s shinobi like me and Kazuki’s job to protect all the non-shinobi in Konoha.” 

Ed sighed, rolling his eyes. “Okay, fine, whatever. But I don’t have a yard. Can you at least tell me when the field will be free again?”

The nin who’d be speaking raised his eyebrows incredulously, sharing a disbelieving look with his friend. “Yeah, that’d be a ‘no’, man. Clear out.”

Ed had never _wanted_ to join the military. He’d done it because it was the fastest way to get what he _actually_ wanted, but the whole uniforms, superior officers, and blowing up innocent people because someone higher up told you to thing? Yeah, that wasn’t for him. But he’d appreciated that his rank afforded him a level of respect that a 12-year old, and later a 16-year old, would _never_ have gotten otherwise, no matter how smart or gifted at alchemy he was. 

And now, being in a military-run setting again, he wasn’t taking being treated like a helpless, bottom-of-the-totem-pole -- scratch that, not even _on_ the totem pole -- annoyance very well. Which is probably why the next words out of his mouth were a very ill-advised, “Make me.” 

Kazuki took him up on the offer. 

Next thing Ed knew, he was being shoved, hard. He stumbled a few steps backward in an automatic attempt to right himself, but Kazuki followed, shoving him again before he’d regained his balance. The second shove forced him further across the field, back toward the village, and Ed only managed to catch himself in a half-crouch at the last moment before he fell on his ass.

He pushed himself to his feet and when the next shove came, he was ready this time, firming his stance so that he barely swayed at the pressure.

He glared at the ninja standing in front of him, palm still flat against his chest.

“Get your hand off me.”

Kazuki smirked. “Make me,” he mocked. The hand lifted slightly, only to creep up Ed’s collarbone and wrap around his neck, squeezing lightly. “Go on. What’re you gonna do?” 

“I _said_, get your hand off me!” Ed tried to knock the hand away, but it only tightened its grip, causing the blond’s eyes to widen in alarm. Both his hands wrapped around the man’s wrist, trying to pull it off, but the still smirking nin just raised his arm until Ed’s feet lifted off the ground, toes scrambling for the dirt as his face turned red from lack of air.

“You’re not even a real Konoha civilian, are you? Not with those looks, and with that accent. You’re some bloody foreigner! The type we should be protecting everyone _else_ from, not letting in through the gate with a welcome wagon!” 

Ed’s right hand shifted to a firmer grip around the other man’s left wrist where it wrapped around his throat, and _squeezed_. 

“Aarg! You little shit!” The chunin dropped the teen and grasped his injured wrist in his non-dominant hand, retreating a few steps of his own as his ponytailed friend came running up beside him. 

“What happened?”

“I think he broke my wrist!”

Ed just wheezed, one hand braced against his thigh to support himself while the one hovered protectively in front of his throat. 

“Yeah. *wheeze* Try that *gasp* again and you’ll see what *cough* _else_ I can do.” Then he grinned at the brunet and curled his fingertips in twice in a universal gesture. ‘_Come at me._’

With a growl, the nin pushed his friend away from where he’d started to wrap a supportive bandage around the injured wrist. He yanked the end of the bandage tight, flexed his fingers a few times to test, and pulled out a short knife. “Alright, you asked for this, punk.” 

Noticing that they were drawing a crowd, the brunet swiveled the blade in his grip so the end of the handle rather than the cutting edge faced out, ready to serve as a blunt force club. “Yeah, yeah,” he drawled, loud enough to be heard by the bystanders. “I’m just gonna knock him out a little,” and charged.

He came at Ed arm raised, ready to bring the hilt down hard enough into his temple to make the blond see stars, but he wasn’t prepared for a civilian to be fast enough to grab his injured wrist once again in his right hand, squeezing hard enough to make him drop the blade directly into the blond’s waiting left hand. 

Still imprisoned in the alchemist’s grip, he couldn’t dodge as Ed pivoted on his right foot, lifted his left knee up high, and kicked out, driving his heel directly into his attacker’s kneecap, causing it to snap backward in a direction nature never intended it to. As the man roared in pain and began to collapse forward, Ed dropped his wrist in favor of swinging a heavy right hook directly into the man’s jaw when his head came level. The porcelain crunch of teeth colliding together was audible from several paces away. 

As the chunin collapsed to the ground, clutching his leg, Ed grinned down at him, running a gloved finger along the stolen knife blade. 

“You *cough* were saying?” 

He laughed, and in the span of a blink, saw a foot coming at him. He only had time to think, ‘oh shit, I forgot there were two of them’ before it connected, sending him flying several meters back, and actually bouncing on impact with the ground. 

Blinking away the starbursts in his vision, he could only think, ‘Ugh, if I broke my spine over something as dumb as this, Ling will never stop laughing.’ Then he may have blacked out for a moment. 

When Ed once again recognized the blue sky overhead and some familiar unwelcome voices still nearby, he thought, “Fuck it.” 

________________

“You okay, man?”

“Yeah. Shit, help me up, Koushaku, I can’t stand right now. Wrist is definitely broken, and my knee might as well be made of wet cardboard right now. He had weights in his shoes or something like that bowl-cut taijutsu freak. Freaky civilian.”

“Oh, man, he really is a civilian, isn’t he? We might be in serious trouble,” Koushaku whined over the increased murmuring coming from their observers.

Kazuki spat a glob of blood into the dirt, tonguing a chip in his tooth. “Forget that. He started it, and you were defending me.”

“No, seriously, Kazuki. He isn’t getting up.”

That had the other nin raising his head in a hurry. “What? Shit, man! Did you kill him?”

“No! I mean, I don’t know?” Koushaku adjusted his grip under his friend’s shoulders, nearly dropping him in distress. “I didn’t mean to! I just kicked him, and he went flying like a sack of flour!” 

“I’m calling the police!” a civilian woman nearby yelled angrily, before stalking off.

“Great. Just great,” Kazuki groaned, still dangling from his friend’s arms as the other chunin tried to drag him up to his feet. He dropped his head in his hands and immediately groaned again in pain as he jostled his broken wrist and bruised jaw. “I hope you like _prison_, cause I’m sure as hell not the one who _killed_ him.

“At least all these damn rubberneckers can attest to that part,” he continued testily.

“Ah! He’s moving,” Koushaku exclaimed, nearly dropping Kazuki again in surprise, eyes trained on the blond sprawled on his back in the dirt. The foreigner had lifted his hands and pressed them together over his face. Almost, Koushaku thought, as if he were murmuring a prayer. Then he let his hands fall back to his sides, palms down. 

The moment they hit the ground, the earth erupted in churning spikes, crackling with electricity and surging toward them, tearing up the field and growing larger and sharper as they approached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today’s random OCs, Kazuki and Koushaku, had their names stolen from...Buso Renkin! (essentially Bleach but with alchemy)


	12. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oi, MoralCode --- paragraph 7.

“_I’m_ the victim here, let me out!”

A female cop leaning against a desk nearby smirked at the outburst, but otherwise kept talking to her friend and sipping at her coffee, ignoring his shouts. A guard sat on a stool facing his jail cell, polishing a sword in his lap without taking his eyes off Ed. The blond was sure the man hadn’t even blinked once since sitting down. It was creepy. He hadn’t said a word yet either, and Ed had quickly given up on trying to get anything out of him besides a glare.

Ed kicked the bars, then flopped down on the bench affixed to the wall with a huff.

Eventually a man with black shoulder-length hair and an intent look on his face began to unmistakeably make his way to the cells in the back of the station, a notebook in his hands. The new arrival had a slightly different uniform shoulder patch than the beat cops Ed had seen up till now, which the blond guessed meant he was higher up the chain of authority, inciting Ed to leap to his feet and rush to the bars to meet him.

“This is ridiculous! I didn’t do anything!” he immediately began to the new officer.

The newcomer stopped in front of the bars and raised an eyebrow. 

“Kazuki Akimichi says you broke his wrist, knee, and jaw.” 

“Well, I did _that_, but only because he was trying to kill me! And I didn’t do any earth jutsu like they’re accusing me of!” 

Ed lifted up his hands; they were locked into a special set of handcuffs separated by a bar rather than a chain, designed to keep the hands apart and prevent the prisoner from forming hand signs for jutsu. It was just Ed’s luck that it also prevented him from performing alchemy unless he managed to get ahold of something to draw out a circle with. 

The cops on coffee break within view -- all of whom looked suspiciously alike with their dark hair and eyes; were they cloning them or something? -- traded skeptical looks at this denial. 

"The state of the training ground says otherwise; shinobi have been killed in less destructive assaults.” The officer’s eyes narrowed and his tone grew more aggressive. “Am I to believe this was just a _misunderstanding_? When a guest to our village launches an attack on our citizens?" 

The teen’s eyes went wide with shock, and he shifted guiltily, before his body language became resolved and self-assured again.

“I couldn’t have done it even if I wanted to,” he argued back, burning a hole in the wall with his gaze before his eyes darted back to meet the officer’s. “I can’t use chakra. I’m _not_ a enemy shinobi or some advance guard or whatever it is you’re suggesting. My civilian worker’s visa is accurate.”

The officer’s eyes remained hard. “We have witnesses who saw you perform the jutsu.”

“Oh yeah? Any of them able to tell you what jutsu I used?” the blond snarled.

The officer flipped through his notes until he arrived at the witness statement he was looking for. “They stated they witnessed you using...hmmm…”

The notes read, ‘_It was possibly a ram sign, but honestly it just looked like he pressed his hands flat together, like when saying itadakimasu._’

He coughed, and recovered quickly. “They stated they witnessed you performing a one-sign jutsu utilizing the ram sign.”

Ed groaned in frustration, shaking his cuffed hands in front of him. “It wasn’t a hand sign!”

“Then what was it?”

“It wasn’t anything!” he shouted, exasperated, “because I’m not a ninja!”

The cop flipped the notebook shut and sighed. “Well, you definitely did something with your hands and it certainly looked like a jutsu.”

Ed glared. “Maybe I was delusional and started praying to the goddess in the moon. After all,” he drawled sarcastically, “I did just receive a pretty severe blow to the head when your shinobi _kicked me across half a field!_” 

“Stop playing yourself off like some defenseless baby!” came the accusation from the cell to the right of his, where Kazuki and Koushaku sat grimly. It came across slightly slurred due to Kazuki’s swollen jaw.

Ed just grinned savagely in reply to the brunet chunin, now bearing a splint on his leg and not any worse for wear after Ed’s alchemical assault than he had been already, thanks to his friend’s quick shunshin pulling them both out of the way. “Wanna go again? I’ll kick your ass any day, any time.”

The officer rapped sharply on the bars. “Settle down, the both of you!” 

“Oh, piss off, Uchiha,” Kazuki snarled, ignoring whatever hissing whispers his friend was dropping in his ear. “I don’t know why I expected one of _you_ to take the word of a fellow Konoha shinobi over whoever the hell this is.” 

“Leave off him. He’s just doing his job,” Ed shot back.

Koushaku brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes, having lost his hair tie at some point between the initial confrontation and the arrest. “Why’re _you_ defending him? You claim to be an innocent victim, but the responding police locked you up in here, same as us.” He sounded genuinely curious rather than accusing.

“I don’t have a problem with cops,” Ed retorted, slouching. ”Just with trumped-up assholes who abuse any little bit of power they get ahold of. People like that get handed a shiny piece of metal to wear, and they start thinking that gives them the right to do whatever the hell they want. ‘Be thou for the people’, or-” he abruptly cut himself off, looking embarrassed. 

“At least, that’s how it should be. Maybe sometimes those assholes are cops, but I can sure as hell respect wanting to make sure I’m not a danger to innocent people,” he jerked his head back toward the amused officer, “as a motivation more than I can you two not wanting to share your playground.” 

A quiet murmur came from the group of men and women by the coffee machine, while a man propped up in the corner of the cell to his left, clearly the drunk tank, lifted an arm in solidarity. “Yeah, you tell ‘em, blondie!” 

Ed sighed, rolling his neck with a crack. “Anyway,” he turned back to the man still standing outside the cell. “Officer Uchiha, was it? I’m not letting you off the hook for keeping an innocent business owner in jail on ninja charges when I clearly,” he spread his hands as well he could in the cuffs, “could not have performed the jutsu.”

“After such lovely words, why don’t you call me Captain Inabi,” Inabi replied somewhat sarcastically, but with genuine amusement. “And why clearly?”

Ed looked at him incredulously. “Are you deaf or something? I just got done telling you I can’t use chakra.”

‘This would be so much easier if an Uchiha with an awakened sharingan had witnessed the fight,’ Inabi thought, sighing internally.

Unlike the byakugan, the sharingan could not observe the chakra pathway system, neither the tenketsu points nor the raw chakra flowing through them. However, the Uchiha clan doujutsu _could_ see chakra when it was actively being shaped, which is why it was said the sharingan could not be fooled by genjutsu.

Combined with the sharingan’s ability to perceive micromovements, skilled users could detect an opponent’s intent as soon as they began to channel chakra, whether through hand signs for a ninjutsu move, or through the limbs to increase the speed or strength of a taijutsu move. 

Unfortunately, a ninja who was not channeling chakra would look no different than a civilian to the sharingan, making it impossible to identify inactive threats unless the Uchiha in question also happened to be a sensor. Luckily, Inabi had a way around that.

Chakra _wanted_ to be shaped, _especially_ in ways it had been shaped before. Even if a ninja wasn’t actively trying to use chakra, muscle memory often took over and made it happen. And hands signs were the trigger that caused chakra to convert to a useable form, even if it didn’t end up getting used.

Inabi blinked open his sharingan. The teenager in front of him half fell over backwards in shock, and he couldn’t help but feel a bit of disappointment. It was ridiculous and unreasonable, but after that passionate defense he thought that maybe here was someone who wasn’t prejudiced against his clan and their supposedly cursed doujutsu. 

“What the heck just happened to your eyes!?” 

“It’s the sharingan, stupid!” the brown-haired chunin in the next cell replied with clear derision. 

The shock in the blond’s face was quickly replaced by a look of curious contemplation. “So that’s what it looks like...I’ve read about it of course, but I’ve never seen one in real life before.”

Taking this new information in stride, Inabi didn’t let it show on his face. Instead, he merely stated, “Please back up,” and when Ed did so, opened the door to the cell. Striding in, he pulled a regular set of cuffs from off his belt and snapped them on over the set the blond already wore before unlocking and removing the first, more restrictive restraints. Ed grinned and shook his hands out, rubbing at his sore wrists as well he could around the new metal cuffs, while Inabi stepped back out of the cell, re-locking it.

“Hey, Captain, what are you doing?” one of the waiting cops questioned with a note of concern in her voice as she watched. The guard who’d been sitting on the stool stood up, sword at the ready.

Inabi ignored them both. “Repeat after me,” he told Ed, then set his hands into the ram sign and paused while the blond rolled his eyes and dutifully worked his fingers together in the same shape.

“Inabi, are you crazy?” another cop piped up.

When nothing happened, Inabi quickly dispelled the small amount of chakra he’d gathered with the motion and started again, this time with the hand signs for an academy-level katon jutsu, one which allowed users to breathe a -- very small! -- stream of fire from their mouth. The blond behind the bars dutifully repeated the signs, and while Inabi could feel a burning tickle growing in his own throat, trying to hold back the jutsu, he saw no chakra building in the teen in front of him. 

He released the chakra he’d gathered, and turned his head to discretely cough a few sparks and smoke into his fist. He tried a third and final set of signs, one for a doton that made the ground underfoot softer, since it was the one chakra nature the kid had supposedly displayed. But when there was no apparent reaction from the boy’s chakra after he performed the hand signs, repeating after Inabi, the captain took the opportunity to shut off the sharingan as well.

“Do I pass muster?” The blond asked in a bored tone of voice.

“You do not, but since this was meant to be a forced demonstration of your familiarity with chakra-shaping, your failure is the outcome you wanted.” Inabi rubbed his temple where a headache was starting as it often did after he used his sharingan.

“You’ve sufficiently proven your lack of ability to perform jutsu, and since your actions against Chunin Akimichi fall within the bounds of self-defense-” he had to raise his voice to continue over the sudden, loud protests of the ninja in the next cell, “you are free to go for now, but don’t be surprised if we ask you to come in again later for additional questioning until this matter is sufficiently resolved,” he concluded, unlocking the cuffs.

“What if _I_ want to press charges for their assault on _me_?” Ed grinned back, sending a smug look the other arrestees’ way. 

“Don’t push your luck, kid.”

\---

It wasn’t long after that Inabi noticed Kakashi Hatake suddenly standing in his precinct, at the same time as several others did. Everyone knew Kakashi was in Anbu, or had been until recently -- no mask would hide that shock of silver hair -- and wasn’t it just like those bastards to show off by appearing out of nowhere.

“What do you want, eye thief?” an officer in the back sneered.

The kid kept a unhelpfully bland look on his face -- what could be seen of it -- as he responded, “It’s about your guest. Elric.”

“We’ve already released him,” Inabi stated brusquely. 

“Hmm.”

Inabi felt the corners of his mouth turning down involuntarily. “What’s your interest in him?”

“Maa, well, I may have been asked to keep an eye on him.”

A female Uchiha at the desk across from his, Inabi’s cousin Ayu, crossed her arms and sneered. “We didn’t harm him, if that’s what you’re getting at. Or maybe you just misplaced your charge and are hoping we’d help you?”

It was hard to make out what Kakashi was thinking with only a quarter of his face visible, but Inabi imagined the creases around his eye grew a little strained. “No, that’s not what I was implying.”

His own eyes widened as he caught Kakashi’s actual meaning. 

“You mean you were watching the fight. With the sharingan?”

The other ninja nodded sharply. “I thought it best to memorize what occurred exactly as it happened.”

“And?” asked a third officer; Kazuhiko, Inabi thought his name was.

“The attack definitely originated from Elric’s location...but he didn’t use any doton.”

“So you think he was framed,” Inabi replied, deep in thought over the implications.

Kakashi’s brow crinkled. “That’s what’s strange. No one else used any doton either.” 

Ayu scowled and stepped closer, unconsciously closing the circle to just the four of them. “How do you know you were even using the eye, right, comrade-killer?”

Kakashi showed no sign of having been affected by the words, voice as sterile as if he were reporting in after a mission. “I train with it. I wouldn’t expect Obito to forgive me if I let his precious gift to me go wasted.

“But that wasn’t the only abnormality that I observed in the attack. The earth spikes sent after the two chunin were wreathed in lighting, also without any corresponding raiton chakra source. Since lighting is an opposing element to earth, it’s difficult to say what the intended affect was, since the attack was avoided.” 

“You’re sure it was two distinct natures from a single technique?” Inabi pressed. “Not a lightning technique closely following an earth technique to strengthen it somehow?”

Kakashi grimaced. “No, I can’t be sure, but it appeared to be simultaneous.”

“Two natures in a single jutsu? And without visible chakra? What does this mean?” Kazuhiko mused.

It was an open question, but Kakashi answered regardless. “Likely...this Elric is using some new attack the sharingan has no way of sensing or copying. Possibly even an attempt to artificially create a kekkei genkai.” Kakashi sounded almost betrayed as he spoke the words.

As the impact of the statement struck, Inabi growled loudly. “He only just left, he can’t have gotten too far.” Pushing Kazuhiko aside, he shouted to the room at large, “Someone get Elric and haul him back in here, fast!”

“No!” Kakashi’s voice was firm, dismissing any argument against it.

“What do you mean, no?” Inabi whirled on him. “You presume to order me around?” The officer who had responded to Inabi’s shout paused on his way out the door, staring at Inabi hesitantly. 

Inabi could see the young man in front of him drop the sterile politeness, the Anbu coming to the forefront through his cold tone. “We don’t know what his intentions are yet, or what he’s capable of. It’s best to continue to follow him closely, let him think he’s unobserved and not under suspicion, and then catch him in the act when he makes his move. Maybe get a byakugan user to observe him inside his apartment covertly as well.”

Inabi waved away the officer who had been about to set out, while Ayu stepped in closer, closing the circle again. “We don’t need a damn Hyuga’s help,” she whispered harshly to Kakashi and her captain, then bit her lip, unsure about the truth of that statement but unwilling to take it back once the words had been spoken. 

Kakashi gave her a disgusted look. “His apartment doesn’t have any _windows_, so unless the sharingan can also see through walls after all, and nobody thought to tell me, there isn’t another way to know what he’s doing in that black box of a room without breaking in and potentially tipping him off.” 

Inabi cut off the argument before it could begin. “Is this an official investigation you’re conducting on Elric?”

Kakashi scowled before biting out a reluctant “No. He made the gate guards suspicious when he first entered the village, so I’ve been checking up on him in my spare time.” 

“Then until he’s dragged into T&I as an enemy spy, he’s simply a person of interest in an altercation between villagers at training ground 32, officially. And that makes this a matter for the Konoha Police, no one else.”

When Kakashi began to protest, Inabi held up a hand. “I am taking this seriously, don’t doubt me, but I will _not_ allow those grey-suited jackboots to undermine the authority of this organization and my clan by sweeping another case out from under us, as if all we’re good for is catching purse-snatchers and babysitting drunkards! 

We have just as much right, ability, and desire to protect this village-!” Inabi, recognizing he was working himself up, took a deep calming breath to settle himself before continuing. “If we gain evidence that points to Elric being a new kind of threat to Konoha sent by an enemy village or organization, I will personally call T&I on him. Then _they_ can bring in any Hyuga or Yamanaka they want. But for now, this investigation stays with the four of us right here.” 

He stared Kakashi directly in his eyes, gaze boring through the headband slanted over the hidden sharingan. “You may be a jounin, but when it comes to matters like this, I outrank you. I expect you to continue to monitor Elric and report to me whatever you find, but otherwise _keep your mouth shut_.”

“Of course, Captain Uchiha. Unless someone like the Hokage were to ask me, of course,” Kakashi remarked with false innocence. 

“Of course,” Inabi replied back. “I would never ask you to keep secrets from our Hokage,” his tone aggrieved but words sincere. 

Glancing at the two officers in front of him, Inabi grumbled, “Well, congratulations Ayu, Kazuhiko. You’ve got a new investigation by dint of being within earshot when Kakashi shared sensitive information.” Inspecting the two officers with a critical eye, he sighed. 

“Well, one small exception. Let’s make it a circle of five. Someone find me Shisui. _Quietly_, please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m laying down some ground rules about the sharingan, because that thing is way overpowered in canon. Sasuke being able to see inside people’s blood cells? I mean, come on! 
> 
> Ayu’s name comes from Ultra Maniac and Kazuhiko’s name I stole from Beauty Pop.


	13. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've only got one partially written chapter left saved up, so updates will probably slow down, even though they're already short. Sorry ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

“I’m not very familiar with the Land of Rice Paddies or its customs, but this is not what I’ve come to expect when I think of a village. They’re usually more than one building, aren’t they? And I’ve never encountered a city built underground.”

The trio had been descending for several minutes now, finally coming out into a wide, sterile passageway lit by humming florescent lights that came to life at their approach and snapped off again once they’d passed. 

Doors lined the corridor that loomed ahead of them, and Ling stretched out his senses to their limits, feeling for any signs of life around them. Behind some of the doors he could sense people in groups of one and two and three (Living quarters? Cells?) but when the gaps between each door grew farther apart, indicating larger and larger rooms, he stopped being able to sense anything apart from the two men walking beside him. More passageways, with their own doors and chambers, surely waited around the corner to both the left and right. 

“Land of Rice Paddies...” the snake sannin mused as he led them forward. “I’ve never liked that name. It doesn’t roll off the tongue, and what’s more, it sounds very peasant-like. No, I don’t like it at all. It’s hardly a fitting name for the host country of my village. Please start calling it Land of Sound. Soon everyone will.”

Ling didn’t reply, instead trying to memorize the turns they’d made. With each light that extinguished itself behind them, it felt like the path back to the surface was itself vanishing, narrowing the world to only where they stood and the next pool of light ahead. Orochimaru shot Ling an amused grin that said he knew exactly what the other was up to. 

“But I’ve failed to answer your questions. Let’s see...a village must start somewhere, correct? I find our needs are sufficiently met right now with this building. It is more extensive than at first appearance.”

‘At first appearance,’ Ling thought, ‘this looks like it could be a rather deadly maze.’

“And as for why it’s underground...I have many enemies, so I needed to make sure my hidden village was well and truly hidden. I trust, as a _prince_, you understand the impulse to protect the people living under your care?”

Ling grimaced at his feet before lifting his head and pasting on a relaxed smile, waving away the comment. “Oh, it’s like Envy said. I am merely one of many, many royal brats. I'm very far from the throne.” ‘But not for long, if I have any say in it.’

“Yes...Envy. You seem rather familiar with the creature.” The pale man swiped a keycard at an innocuous locked door, and when it buzzed open, swept through the doorway, indicating to Ling to follow after him. 

Ling hesitated for a moment, but Kabuto’s presence at his back forced him through. The moment he was, the silver haired man stepped through after him and re-engaged the security system. “So we aren’t interrupted,” he smiled pleasantly when he noticed Ling watching.

The sannin gracefully took a seat on what appeared to be a fainting couch, incongruous in its existence amongst the variety of beakers, bunsen burners, microscopes, and other scientific equipment until Ling’s eyes adjusted to the dim light well enough to take in the far wall, lined with bookshelves, and a large, beautiful rolltop desk in the corner, crowded with papers.

“What is your relationship to the creature calling itself, ‘Envy.’ I am very interested in learning more about this––what did you call it? _Homunculus_.”

A plain wooden stool slammed to the ground just behind Ling. Kabuto scowled when Ling failed to jump at the loud bang, but his duty apparently done, the silver haired man retreated to the corner to watch. Ling remained standing.

“Hmmm. Homunculi _are_ a bit of a mystery. I’ve personally encountered three, including the one you saw today. I’m told there are more, but I believe their total numbers are few, less than can be counted on a man’s fingers, because of the rare conditions required for their creation.”

Orochimaru put his hand to his chin in a thoughtful pose. “Creation is a curious word to use. Not ‘birth’?”

“No, not birth. Homunculi are man-made.”

Orochimaru’s golden eyes widened, and even in the dim light Ling could see his thin pupils expanding in intent interest. 

“Fascinating,” he breathed, possibly with the first genuine emotion of any of their conversation so far. “Entirely? Or with a human as a base?”

Ling kept his face carefully blank, with just the suggestion of a smile. “My efforts haven’t yet uncovered the process necessary to produce these beings, Lord Otokage,” he began, taking note of the pleased look on the mad scientist’s face at the title, “but I can tell you that although they can appear human, they are anything but.”

“Are they all shapeshifters?” the man asked, his excitement clear. 

Ling frowned in thought. “...It’s possible,” he conceded. “I can’t say for sure. Certainly Gluttony changed its shape--in a way. But I believe each was designed to have a specific ability.”

“You never answered the question,” Kabuto cut in suspiciously. “How do you know the creature calling itself Envy?”

Ling grinned. “I’ve been hunting homunculi.”

Kabuto’s eyes narrowed and he half-ducked his head in thought. “So you knew Envy was here…” He raised his head again sharply, eyes flashing with anger. “That’s why you came to Otogakure?”

Ling shrugged. “No, that was just a happy coincidence. I can’t sense it across a continent, I only felt its presence as I was already approaching you. 

"Envy is tricky, and deadly, and potentially more trouble than it’s worth. While I wouldn’t dismiss a chance to capture one like it, I’ve decided there are other avenues to getting what I desire with a higher chance of success.”

“And what is it that you desire?” Orochimaru’s silken voice inquired. 

Ling paused, clearly thinking through his options and the consequences of his answer before throwing caution to the wind. “There is one other trait of homunculi I didn’t mention. They are all immortal.” Orochimaru sat up abruptly at this pronouncement. “_That_ is what I desire. I have no way of knowing if it’s possible to replicate Envy’s method of immortality, or perhaps take it, but as far as other options go, I’ve heard,” Ling cocked his head jauntily, “you’re the man to talk to.”

Orochimaru suddenly rose and swiftly crossed to Ling, cupping his face in a large, white hand. “You wish an immortal body? Then that is what I desire for you as well.”

His touch grew fiercer, tilting Ling’s head up to meet his serpentine gaze. “And _much more_ besides. Yes, I think you’ll do nicely.” Dropping his hand abruptly, Orochimaru stepped back. But rather than return to the chaise lounge, he sat down at one of the lab tables and picked up a vial of what looked like blood thoughtfully.

“I didn’t form Otogakure to bow and scrape for the chance to further the plots and scheming of daimyos or to suckle at the teat of merchants. And you won’t find any extraneous features like flower shops or schools. This village, _my_ village, is different.

“Here, a ninja–” he glanced up at Ling, “or a swordsman, can become stronger for their own sake.”

Orochimaru smiled as he played with the vial of blood, stroking it like one would a kitten. There was a label on it that Ling couldn’t make out. 

“One can become _everything_ they are capable of being.” 

Orochimaru placed down the vial firmly, flat on the table rather than back in its stand. When he turned in his seat to face Ling, the vial rolled over the edge and shattered on the floor with a tiny sound.

“I studied under the White Snake Sage of Ryuchi Cave in order to learn senjutsu. What you call _chi_.

“As you already noticed,” he gestured down at himself, “this is not my original body. And the transfer process left me...physically weak. Unable to handle the strain that sage abilities take even on a healthy body. I was forced to abandon my efforts. You, however, don’t seem to suffer any side effects at all.” 

Orochimaru smiled with what he probably thought passed for warmth. “Join Otogakure. Become my apprentice and allow me to pass on my teachings. If I cannot master sage mode with this body, there is no reason why no one else shouldn’t benefit from my efforts. I can train you to use your abilities in ways you’ve never dreamed -- I’ve never met a human so naturally suited to using senjutsu before. 

“And of course,” he concluded, "immortality.” 

__________

"My cousin is dead and his eye is in your skull.”

Kakashi didn’t jump but he did wince slightly at the first words Shisui spoke to him. He’d never met the Uchiha, but he knew him by reputation. Geniuses tended to get lumped together in conversation.

“It was a gift,” he replied dully.

“So you say.” 

Kakashi was crouched on the balls of his feet on the roof of the building opposite Ed’s shop, watching as Ed leaned out over the open top-half of the double-hung door, the bottom-half remaining closed and locked. He was talking with a customer about something. Shisui, however, had plopped himself down, leaning back on his hands and dangling his feet over the edge.

“But the thing is, I have more than one cousin.”

Kakashi blinked, and sighed. “Is this a leadup to you and all your many cousins threatening to beat me up in an alleyway later?”

The Uchiha prodigy laughed. “No, this is me saying I know you took good care of Itachi while you were able, and I wanted to thank you.”

Kakashi finally looked up at the curly haired Uchiha, whipping his head around in shock. 

Shisui just gave him a bemused smile. “Please, like anyone didn't know it was you behind that mask. And Itachi’s not just my baby cousin, he’s my best friend.” He glanced down at the street below. Ed had vanished back into the shop and returned carrying something in a small wooden box packed with straw that he passed through the window of the partially open half-door for the customer’s inspection.

“Itachi couldn't hide anything from me if he tried. _Of course_ I knew something had happened, that he’d followed me into our shadowy ranks.” The silence stretched out between the two of them. 

“That boy wasn’t made for our type of work,” Shisui eventually concluded, softly. “He’s got too gentle of a soul.”

Kakashi sighed again, then very deliberately copied Shisui’s relaxed pose, eyes turned back to the minor argument blooming between the two men on the street below. “In this world, it doesn’t matter what we want, only what we’re good at it. But it was clear he needed a mentor. I wouldn’t let another comrade die if I could do anything to prevent it.”

This time he did startle when Shisui dropped a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you.” 

Kakashi shrugged the hand off uncomfortably and Shisui let him.

“So,” the seriousness of the moment fell away with the laughter in Shisui’s voice. “Are we doing this or not?”

“Doing what?” Kakashi replied a tad sourly. “We haven’t discussed a plan.”

“He’s at least pretending to be a civilian, right? So let’s get information out of him the civilian way.” When Kakashi just stared at him blankly, the other nin grinned widely. “With alcohol!”

Kakashi’s mouth twitched upwards slightly under his mask. “Alright, then.” Getting to his feet, Kakashi stretched then jumped down to the street below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orochimaru is the witch in the gingerbread house.


	14. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter that's entirely dialogue? Don't mind if I do!

The plume of dust drew Ed’s attention just before he shut the door. He’d finally gotten his payment out of the disgruntled man now walking away carrying the wooden crate with his family’s antique tea bowl inside clutched to his chest angrily. Honestly, expecting Ed to patch the cracks with _gold_? Yeah, he _could_ have done it, but how was he supposed to know that’s what the man wanted? Ed had fixed the thing up as good as new––you could barely see the transmutation hash marks––and the man had the gall to be _upset_ the cracks weren’t visible. 

And it seemed today wasn’t over yet. Kakashi was back. Again. A second plume of dust rose up as another ninja, this one no one Ed recognized, landed behind him.

‘What is it with ninja and jumping off roofs?’ Ed thought, tilting his gaze up to the building across the street where they must have leapt from. 

“Yo! Edward!” The jounin waved.

Ed slumped across the top of the door panel, eyeing the other man warily. “I told you, it’s just Ed.”

“Ed, then. I heard you were attacked at the training ground?”

Ed scowled. “Yeah. Who knew ninja would be so protective over some dumb kicking stump. It’s not like I was gonna break it.” 

His expression changed, a sly grin sneaking across his face as he looked up up the man towering over him. “Well, I guess you knew, being a ninja and all. Some helpful guide you turned out to be.” 

Kakashi cleared his throat into his fist. “Well, I’m sure they were just concerned for your safety in an area where live weapons and dangerous jutsu are used freely.”

Ed rolled his eyes. “Yeah, concerned for my safety. That’s why that one guy tried to choke me unconscious.” He gestured pointedly to the bandages covering the finger-shaped bruises ringing his throat. 

“Well, I _thought_ in order to celebrate your being cleared by the medics, and the fact you weren’t deported for brawling,” 

Ed stood up straight, startled. "That was an option?" 

"...that my friend Shisui and I would invite you to join us at the Mimosa Blossom tonight. It’s a bar not far from here,” Kakashi clarified, slouching to a less imposing height, his hands casually resting in his pockets. “We'll buy you a drink. Shisui’s got a casual grudge against one of your punching bags and would love to hear the story."

Ed blinked in surprise. “A drink? I’m not really a drinker…”

“No, please!” The man just behind Kakashi finally spoke up, grinning. He was certainly friendlier-looking than the silver-haired man who’d decided to attach himself to Ed these last few weeks for whatever reason. Kakashi seemed kind of grouchy and sarcastic whenever he forgot to be stiff, making Ed wonder how he came to be friends with the cheerful man. 

The newcomer’s curly hair and dimples gave him a boyish charm that made him look younger than Ed guessed he actually was. ‘Shisui,’ Ed reminded himself. ‘Kakashi called him Shisui.’ 

“You have to tell me––did you really knock out Kazuki’s teeth? I’d have loved to have seen that.” 

Ed’s eyes rolled up in thought. “Well, I didn’t see any on the ground. I guess he could have chipped one when I socked him in the jaw.” 

Shisui clasped his hands together in delight. “Yes, those are exactly the details I’m after. Besides, you’ve been in town for how long now? And the only people you’ve probably interacted with are customers and boring old Kashi. Let us take you out––I get the feeling we’ll end up good friends.” 

Ed bit his lip and glanced back into the dark, mostly empty apartment. Friends weren’t something he had a lot of experience with. There was Al, of course; and Winry, but she was practically a sister; maybe some of the guys on Mustang’s team, but at the end of the day, they were just co-workers and barely that (although he got the feeling they saw him as more of a mascot); and then whatever Ling was. 

He hadn’t tried to make friends either, because why would he need any when he had Al? And after that, there wasn’t any point because he wasn’t planning on sticking around in this world for any longer than it took to get home. But you could only talk to the walls for so long before it started getting a little pathetic. 

“I guess I could…” 

“Wonderful! We were walking over now, unless you needed to wrap anything up here?”

Ed smiled. “Nah, just let me grab my wallet and I’ll be good to go.”

“Nonsense,” Shisui gave Kakashi a friendly punch to the shoulder, causing him to sway slightly with a pained look on his face. “Drinks are on Kashi tonight, remember?”

“I said ‘on _us_’,” Kakashi muttered behind his mask. 

“Thanks, but I gotta carry it anyway, because of the whole not-a-citizen, just-here-on-a-visa thing. Give me a second and I’ll be right out.”

The blond disappeared into the apartment/shop, closing the door behind him and latching it, leaving the two shinobi standing outside.

“Please don’t call me Kashi.”

“But we’re such _good friends_. What else would I call you?”

Kakashi slouched down further. This was going to be a long night.

__________

When the trio pushed through the doors, the bar was already packed. The crowd was mostly civilian with a good handful of off-duty shinobi, although Ed would guess mostly lower level guys. It didn’t seem like a bar a jounin would hang out in, which Ed knew Kakashi (and probably Shisui?) to be. 

As they peered around for an open table, he heard Shisui let out a surprised, “Oh!” and give a long wave to a pair of dark heads seated near the back.

“Kazuhiko and Ayu are already here! That’s lucky. If you don’t mind, let’s join them.” Without waiting for an answer, Shisui began pushing his way through the crowd toward the table. Kakashi shrugged and followed, leaving Ed no choice but to do the same. 

Ed quirked an eyebrow when he got close enough to see the two new but very familiar faces up close, and glanced between them and Shisui. With a bemused tone, Shisui explained, “They’re both cousins of mine. Well, a little more distant than that, but it’s easier to just say cousins.”

“Big family?” Ed asked, skeptically.

“One of the largest in Konoha,” the woman agreed as she kicked out a chair for him without standing. “I don’t think we’ve met yet. I’m Ayu.” 

“Kazuhiko,” the other grumbled in introduction, reluctantly surrendering his drink to Shisui as he pushed his way into the booth. “Don’t think this means I’m buying for your...friends,” he finished as Shisui took a deep gulp and sighed happily. 

“No worries, Kazu. My wallet is fat on mission pay.”

“Then why–?”

“I was so thirsty, I couldn’t wait at that line at the bar! But here,” passing over his wallet, he gave Kazuhiko a gentle push. “First round for the table on me. Off you go!” Looking conflicted for a moment, Kazuhiko sighed and went.

Ayu nodded toward Ed. “We know Kakashi, of course, but who are you?” 

“Ed. I’m new to Konoha.”

“Well, welcome. How’d you catch Shisui’s eye?”

“I don’t actually know this guy," Ed admitted bluntly. "He just showed up with Kakashi.”

“Ed here was involved with that fight that tore up training ground 32,” Shisui announced. “And he’s going to tell us all about it.”

“Let me set the record straight here," Ed stated, seriously. "I got in a fight with those two guys, but I’ve been cleared of any involvement with whatever jutsu made the earth spikes." 

“I saw that before they brought someone in to smooth the field back out,” Ayu nodded. “What exactly happened?”

Ed scratched at his chin. “I don’t really know. I’d just been sent flying and bounced my head off the ground. I was seeing stars. The end of the fight is a little fuzzy, to be honest. I just know it happened sometime after me hitting the ground and before the police showing up. Speaking of,” Ed waved a finger between the two Uchiha questioningly.

“Yup!” Shisui laughed self-consciously. “As you may have noticed, the police force is run by the Uchiha. Most of us in the clan know someone there. It’s how I heard about the fight, so I passed it along to Kakashi because I knew you two were acquainted.”

“Can you really not remember anything about the jutsu?” Ayu asked. “It sounds like it was a pretty powerful one, and not like any doton I’ve heard of before.”

“No,” Ed announced firmly, his tone brooking no further argument. “I don’t. I’ve already been questioned about this, and I don’t have anything more to add, besides that it couldn’t have happened to a nicer pair of guys."

Nodding to the beer bottles Kazuhiko had returned juggling in his arms, he added, "so cheers to whoever did it, I’ll buy _them_ a drink if I ever meet them.”

"Aren't you curious, at least?" Kazuhiko, asked, passing around the drinks. "About who did it and why? Why they didn't follow up with another attack after the first failed to hit? Why they didn't show themselves?"

Ed snorted, taking a sip. "I can take a guess at that last one, at least. They probably didn't want to get thrown in jail for questioning, like I was." 

"It's just really odd, is all," Kazuhiko continued. "I've got this theory–"

“Isn't this an ongoing investigation?" Ed cut in. "You probably shouldn't be talking about this, especially if you were pumping your cousins for information you're not supposed to have. Besides, Shisui, I thought you wanted to hear about me breaking that chunin’s jaw.”

“I love any story where Kazuki gets smacked around, let’s hear it!”

__________

The next two hours passed much the same, Ed getting looser and more animated in his retellings of encounters with various Konoha locals and villages he'd passed through in his travels with each drink Kakashi and Shisui dropped in front of him. He was a talkative drunk, clearly, and a terrible liar, but he didn't tell many outright lies, instead choosing to give vague, frustrating answers ("This place I was sent to pick up something," or "It was when I was talking to this guy about something,") that he refused to clarify when pressed ("Just, you _know_, something, it's not important to the story"). 

But they all noticed when Ed nearly dropped his glass in shock as a young woman walked past their table. Long, dark brown hair hung past her shoulder blades, and a spray of pink bangs framed her face, but she wasn’t anyone the two police officers and two Anbu recognized.

“Do we need to hide you, or arrange a meet-cute?” Kakashi questioned, voice droll. 

“No, no. She just––looks a lot like someone I met once,” Ed replied, visibly shaken. 

“Must have left quite an impression on you to get that kind of reaction,” Ayu said teasingly. “An old flame?”

“No, not really. To be honest, I kind of completely forgot about her until I heard what happened after.”

The four shinobi seated at the table shared a look. 

When Ed turned his head away, watching people coming and going at the bar while taking a pull from his drink, Kazuhiko broke in, “you can’t just say something like that and leave us hanging.”

Ed scoffed. “Yeah, I can. I don’t even know you.” 

Kakashi held up a drink menu so it blocked Kazuhiko's face. "Satisfy _my_ curiosity then, not his."

Ed grimaced, but sucked down the rest of his glass for liquid courage before obliging. 

“I met her in a town I had gone to when I was traveling, and some things happened there, and I guess more things happened after I left...that may have been my fault. And now there’s a good chance she’s dead, but I don’t actually know.”

They all stared, until Kazuhiko swatted away the menu Kakashi was still holding up. “Well, that tells us nothing at all.”

Ayu and Kakashi both glared at him, while Shisui offered a sympathetic look to Ed, who was sinking into his chair, hiding his face behind his empty glass. “That sounds pretty serious. Between the four of us, we've been in some bad spots as well, so no one here would mind if you needed to get it off your chest by talking about it.”

“Don’t know what good talking about it will do at this point. What's done is done,” Ed sighed.

“A burden shared is a burden halved,” Kakashi shrugged. "Or so they tell me."

“It was a place called Liore. An isolated town on the edge of nowhere that really only existed as a last safe harbor before the desert. 

"The town was led by this real charismatic guy, but I didn't trust him. And I was right!" Ed's voice got frustrated. "He was lying to the people, manipulating their love and faith in him, while the entire time–!"

Ed slammed his fist down on the table and heaved a breath. “I don’t actually know what he was after, besides I guess staying in power. So I may have...started a coup." 

Three pairs of black eyes widened in surprise, Ayu pausing with her glass partway to her lips.

"I left town pretty much right after that, thinking ‘bastard outed, good deed done.’ I didn’t hear until much later how _disastrously_ wrong it went. Full-on civil war erupted. Lots of innocent people died, caught in the crossfire, or of starvation. It raged for months, and eventually the national military was sent in to quell it. And they didn't care which side was right, or even which was which." 

“I’ve never heard of Liore,” Kazuhiko said slowly.

“Well, there isn’t a Liore anymore,” Ed responded bitterly. 

“Morale of the story: don’t start a coup unless you’re prepared for the consequences." He raised his glass up high. “Here’s to you, Rose. Sorry for probably getting you killed.”

Kazuhiko stood up abruptly, hand gripping Ayu’s shoulder tightly. “Ayu and I need to use the restroom.”

Ed nodded, distracted now by his own thoughts. “Life’s too short. You shoot your shot, man.” 

“Sit down!” Shisui barked. 

Kazuhiko immediately sat down again.

“It sounds like something that’s really weighing on you, Ed,” Kakashi said gently, like one might talk to a dog they weren't sure would bolt or bite. “Maybe if you told us a little more…” 

“Noooo, no, no, no. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” His eyes fell on a tall brunet pushing through the crowd to a door against the back wall and vanishing through it. “Is that the bathroom?” He asked, pointing to the door the man had just used. At Kakashi’s nod, he stood up, swaying a little. “I think I need to make a visit myself, if you’ll excuse me a moment.”

After he'd staggered off, Ayu hissed a sharp, “What the hell was that?!” She pinned Kazuhiko and Shisui in her gaze. “Huh?!”

Shisui’s eyes flickered between Ayu and Kakashi, and noticing, the silver-haired man crossed his arms. “I’m not going anywhere. So, please. Share your thoughts, Ayu.” 

Kazuhiko peeled at the edge of the label on his bottle nervously. “I really _haven’t_ heard of any place called Liore. Wouldn’t we know about something as big as a town getting wiped off the map after a coup?”

“Not necessarily,” Kakashi replied. “After the war, most hidden villages, including Konoha, were primarily concerned with their own recovery at that point in time. Everyone knows about Uzushio’s destruction because they were powerful, a threat––it was important to know. But an isolated civilian town? Not significant enough to note. And if the daimyo of the Land of Wind, or whichever bordering nation laid claim to Liore, sent out his personal forces from the capitol to end it, it’s very likely he didn’t _want_ anyone to know. An uprising against someone he had put in place would make him look weak in a time when it was vital not to look vulnerable.”

“But Ed still found out about it somehow,” Kazuhiko pointed out.

Kakashi shrugged. “It’s like you said. It’d be hard to cover that up completely. But it doesn’t concern ninja, which is why we’ve probably never heard of it. But merchants would certainly know about a waypoint town being gone, so it wouldn’t surprise me Ed would learn about it eventually.”

“Shut up,“ Ayu cut in. “He’s coming back.”

__________

“Well, this was a total waste,” Ayu sighed an hour later. “We didn’t get anything useful out of him.”

“It’s unfortunate,” Shisui agreed. “I didn’t expect him to be such as lightweight.” They all stared at the blond head-down on the table.

“Well, we learned about Liore,” Kakashi pointed out. “And that he was definitely, and significantly, involved in whatever went down there. If we can find a survivor, we’ll find information on Ed.” 

“We can’t do that at this stage,” Ayu pointed out. “Getting permission for one of us to leave the village to investigate this, and may I point out we didn’t even learn what nation Liore was supposedly in, will move it out of the Konoha Police Force’s hands.” 

The blond made a muffled noise, and they all went silent to see if he'd sit up. 

“This may still be salvageable,” Shisui mused after a moment.

“How so?” Kakashi grumbled.

“Helping him get home is the perfect excuse to get inside his apartment.”

As all three Uchiha turned expectant eyes to Kakashi, he sighed. “Fine.”

He leaned over and shook the blond’s shoulder. “Ed. Ed, wake up.”

Ed blinked blearily up at the tall shape hovering over him. All he could make out was a pale face topped with silver hair in a navy uniform.

“Lieutenant Falman? What are you doing here?” Seeing a black haired head on his other side, he groaned. “Mustang? Damnit, no. If you want my report so bad you can wait until I come into the office. I’m out with–“ he yawned. “Out with friends.”

Kakashi and Shisui exchanged glances. 

“Any idea what language he’s speaking?”

Kakashi looked disturbed. “Nothing I’ve heard before.”

Shisui grinned a wry smile. “This kid just keeps getting more mysterious.”

Kakashi glared, then looped one of Ed’s arms over his shoulder to pull him to his feet and help him walk. Then realizing how stooped this position would keep him based on their height difference, paused for a long moment in hesitation before sighing deeply and lifting the blond into a piggy-back. He groaned. “Shit, he’s heavy.”

“Try not to strain your back,” Shisui commented, grinning. Kakashi glared again, then left.

As soon as the door shut behind him, Ayu burst out, “Is this some kind of set-up? Did the Hokage send him?”

Shisui continued to gaze thoughtfully out the door. “It seems a bit...overt, for a trap.”

“How else would he know about-” Kazuhiko cut himself off, aware they were in public despite the hushed quality of their conversation over the loud ambient noise around them. There were other ninja here, after all. “Do you really believe that’s just a _coincidence_?”

Ayu worried her lip between her teeth, earlier confidence evaporating. “Maybe we should push the whole thing off...until we know what’s going on.”

“Or maybe,” Kazuhiko said, lowering his voice even further, nervousness jumping into high gear, “it means we have to act tonight! Before he reports back to the Hokage on our reactions!”

Shisui shook his head slowly, feeling simultaneously disturbed over who Elric might really be, and hopeful over the opportunity this news presented to end what his clan was trying to accomplish. “You tell Captain Inabi. I’ll inform Fugaku. And tell him my recommendation is to wait.”


	15. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another weekend come and gone :(

“Where’s the key, Edward?”

The blond mumbled something incomprehensible in that other language into Kakashi’s shoulder. Kakashi eased him to the ground and leaned him against the wall by the door, then began patting down his clothes, checking his pants pockets and both the inner and outer pockets of his jacket for the key.

He sighed in disgust, finding only a stubby pencil, a pocketknife (the blade was only two inches long and rather dull - it looked like it may have been used to sharpen the pencil), the watch chain missing its watch (which was now in Kakashi’s apartment, unbeknownst to its owner, until he decided what to do with it), and a plain brown leather wallet holding a few paper ryo, some crumpled receipts for carry-out, and Ed’s identification. On the back of one of the receipts was a list of long numbers punctuated by decimals and the occasional letter that, after a moment’s scrutiny, he realized must be call numbers for books from the Konoha library. Kakashi took a moment to memorize the list just in case. 

No key, however. 

He shook the blond by the shoulder. “Edward. Ed. We’re here. Where’s the key?”

Ed opened his eyes a crack with a distinct look of annoyance. “What key?” he eventually slurred out. At least he was speaking the right language now. 

“The key to your apartment.”

“Oh.” He yawned widely, jaw cracking. “I dunno. Inside, I think.” 

Kakashi stared, unsure he had heard correctly. “The key to the apartment is inside the apartment.”

“Yeah. Probably, I dunno. I think so,” Ed repeated, unconcerned. His eyelids struggled to stay open. “On the table, or…” he lifted his hand a few inches off his lap, like any higher was too great an effort, and rolled his wrist in a vague gesture.

Kakashi rolled his eyes. ‘Honestly, the place was unlocked this whole–?’ His train of thought cut off abruptly as his hand closed around the doorknob and it refused to turn. He rattled it once for good measure. Definitely locked. 

He turned back to the blond resting his head against the wall of the building. His eyes were closed, but Kakashi could tell he was still awake. 

“Ed. Did you mean you left the key on the table at the bar?”

“No,” Ed sighed, speaking slowly, as if it was Kakashi who wasn’t making sense. “It’s in the apartment. I threw it on a table somewhere. I don’t remember.” 

“But the door is locked.”

“Mmhmm,” Ed hummed in agreement, eyes remaining closed. 

Kakashi crouched down and peered through the keyhole, only to pause in confusion. The keyplate was solid. There was a slight indentation where the keyhole should be, enough to trick the eye into thinking it was there, but no place to actually insert a key.

He glanced back at the blond, who was starting to drift off again. “Ed, how did you lock this door? How do you _open_ this door?” __

_ _‘Was it like this when he moved in?’ Kakashi thought. Despite being there when Ed toured the apartment, he couldn’t remember if the landlady had inserted a key or not. He thought she did, but maybe he only remembered it that way because it seemed so obvious that she must have. _ _

_ _He ran his finger over the blank keyplate. Or maybe not so obvious._ _

_ _“It’s fine, it’s fine! I can open it,” Ed mumbled quickly, apparently only just now recognizing he’d been asked a question. He was clearly too drunk to handle anything as mentally taxing as holding a conversation. Kakashi blamed Shisui. This whole scheme was his idea. _ _

_ _“How do you open it, then?” _ _

_ _There was no reply. Kakashi glanced back at the blond. He’d fallen back asleep. _ _

_ _“Ed, I’m going to have to break the door if you can’t find the key.” He said it overly loudly. Ed definitely couldn’t hear him, off in dreamland as he was, but he had neighbors and Kakashi heavily suspected they were listening in. _ _

_ _It was annoying that it came down to breaking in after all, but having a reasonable excuse for why the lock had been forced would hopefully downplay suspicion from Ed tomorrow morning, as would having their eavesdroppers back him up that Ed had agreed to it. Well, had not audibly disagreed. _ _

_ _Waiting just long enough for Ed to have plausibly nodded permission, he gave a sharp targeted kick to the immediate left of the keyplate, and the door crashed open with a bang. Civilians placed too much trust in the security of locks, honestly. It was a shorter walk this time, so he opted to throw the teen over his shoulder like a sack of flour to get him through the door._ _

_ _He glanced around curiously after having made his way inside. The front room was dominated by a few rows of long tables lined with various objects. Walking up and down the rows, he saw each object had a sloppily scrawled index card placed in front of it. _ _

_ _“K. Sohma | Steel | Drop-off Thursday 15 | Pick-up Saturday 17,” read a card by a pouch of dull kunai._ _

_ _“T. Honda | Silk, Indigo, Madder | Drop-off Monday 12 | Pick-up Monday 19,” read another beside a neatly folded kimono._ _

_ _Reading a few more cards and inspecting the items dropped off to be repaired, sharpened, tailored, and so on, the only thing of note was that some items that were listed as being ready to pick up the following morning were still noticeably broken. _ _

_ _Kakashi filed that and its possible implications away and headed for the door at the back of the room. This door was also locked without any discernible method. Kakashi kicked it in as well, which was a bit harder with who-even-knows how many pounds of teenage male slung over his shoulder unbalancing him._ _

_ _The room beyond was essentially as Kakashi remembered it from the tour, just with a desk crammed in along one wall, a small couch complete with rumpled pillow on the other, and few insufficiently rinsed dishes in the sink. He also spotted the glint of a key on the counter of the kitchenette, and made a note to grab it on his way out. But what was far more intriguing was the small stack of notebooks on top of the desk to the side of the cashbox, one lying partially open with a pen as a bookmark. _ _

_ _Kakashi hurried through to the bedroom (this door was unlocked – obviously Ed didn’t expect anyone to make it past the first two doors) and unceremoniously dropped his burden on the bed. Ed groaned as he bounced on the mattress. _ _

_ _Kakashi paused on his way back through the door to the office, then sighed and turned back. He was playing the supportive friend, after all. But when he went to helpfully remove Ed’s boots, the blond’s eyes shot open and he nearly kicked Kakashi in the face. _ _

_ _“Don’t–!” At the shocked concern in Kakashi’s one visible eye, Ed went red in embarrassment. “Sorry. You startled me…” After an uncomfortably long pause, he yanked the blanket over himself and rolled over onto his side, not looking at Kakashi._ _

_ _“Thanks for helping me back.” The adrenaline of jolting awake seemed to have zapped him back into coherency a little. _ _

_ _“Are you going to sleep with your boots on?” Kakashi asked, looking dubious. _ _

_ _“Yes.”_ _

_ _“You’ll get dirt on your sheets,” he pointed out dryly. _ _

_ _“I don’t care. They’re my sheets. I’m tired and I just want to sleep.”_ _

_ _“It literally takes seconds. I was going to do it for you. You don’t even have to sit up.”_ _

_ _“UUUggghhh, just go away and let me sleep.” Ed pulled his pillow out from underneath him and folded it over his head, blocking out the light from the overhead lamp and, presumably, Kakashi’s voice. _ _

_ _“...You can use my couch if you want,” he mumbled into the pillow, but Kakashi heard him anyway._ _

_ _The Konoha nin rolled his eyes and retreated back into the office with a small wave over his shoulder. Either Ed was extremely confident in his ability to hide things, or he really was innocent of anything nefarious. There was no other reason, even nursing the beginning of what was likely to be a terrible hangover, to give Kakashi free reign of the apartment. _ _

_ _Once in the office, he shut the door behind him and immediately went to the notebooks. There were four, and all were written in some kind of looping script that would probably look elegant if it weren’t for Ed’s chicken scratch handwriting. As it was, it left more of an impression of someone with hand tremors dragging the pen across the page. _ _

He really should have expected this, based on the fact Ed had defaulted to another language when drunk, and that he made no secret that his parents came from outside the Elemental Nations. It was hard to tell what in the notebooks was important without being able to read what language they were written in, and while he could just _take them_ to bring to Captain Uchiha, even Ed wasn’t naive enough to not find it suspicious if they suddenly went missing. If Kakashi just had a camera, none of this would be an issue. 

_ _The dates heading each block of text seemed to indicate they were a series of diaries or journals of some kind. Flipping through the pages quickly but carefully, searching for _anything_ that looked familiar or important – an underline, something circled, a diagram – he stopped on the ragged edge clearly showing where a page had been torn out. Checking the dates on the pages immediately before and after, Kakashi would guess it had been torn out right around when Ed had arrived in Konoha. Perfect._ _

_ _The page beneath had already been written on, so a rubbing wasn’t ideal. However…_ _

_ _Kakashi turned out the overhead light. Then, laying the notebook open to the page after the torn out sheet, he retrieved a small flashlight from one of the pockets on his flak vest and shone it on an angle to the flat of the page. Sure enough, the pressure of the pen had left behind indentations through the page above and onto this one, and now those indentations cast a shadow. _ _

_ _Clenching the flashlight steady in his teeth to free his hands to hold the book flatter, he scanned the revealed shadow script. It was a letter, that much was obvious from the formatting. From Ed to someone named Ling. And unlike the rest of the notebook, it appeared to be in kanji._ _

_ _Between the sloppy handwriting, stretched out shadows, and overlapping text, he couldn’t make much sense of it. Except for a single word that burned into his brain like a beacon fire. “Konoha.” It appeared twice; once near the top, and again near the bottom._ _

_ _It wasn’t necessarily damning. Ed could have been talking about how business was going, or the weather, or even just announcing a safe arrival. But who was Ling, and why did Ed feel he needed to know? _ _

_ ____________ _

_ _Ed woke up to a pounding headache, followed by a hot flush of embarrassment as memories of the night before started to trickle back in in reverse order. Did he really need to be helped back to the apartment by Kakashi? Did he really mistake Shisui for Mustang? Did he really – oh. Shit. Oh shit. And when Kakashi had–_ _

_ _Ed flung the blanket off and his hands immediately flew to the thick, slightly-oversized calf-length boots he was still wearing and sighed in relief._ _

_ _He didn’t wear socks - the fabric caught on the joints of his toes. But as much as he didn’t _want_ to, he could probably have explained away his automail if Kakashi or anyone else saw it. But he wasn't sure how to explain away the sealing scroll tucked down the side of his boot. _ _

_ _He wasn’t entirely sure until this moment it would actually be there, and wasn’t just something he’d done in his dream. _ _

_ _The high clearance runners may wear masks to hide their faces when transporting sensitive information, but Ed had thought he’d recognized the general build and hair of the man making his way into the bathroom last night from his visit to the Hokage Tower, and his drunken self had thought, “Why not find out?” _ _

_ _And lo and behold, what did Ed find on him after cracking his head against the toilet basin he was busy retching into? (And boy, would he have felt bad about that if it hadn’t resulted in this specific reward.) A storage scroll. _ _

_ _Ed had quickly transmuted a replica from a roll of toilet paper and placed it back in the pouch on the guy’s belt. Anyone who came across him before he came to would just assume he’d passed out drunk rather than been knocked unconscious (including the guy himself, with any luck). Hopefully it would be a while before he tried to open the scroll and realized it was a fake. _ _

_ _Unfortunately, the scroll needed a burst of chakra to open, so Ed was stuck trying to figure out what was inside. Would someone trusted to carry sensitive information be dumb enough to carry it with him when he was off-duty? It was probably just standard ninja supplies, now that Ed thought about it. _ _

_ _But no, he reconsidered. This guy probably wasn’t a ninja – just another worker in the ninja bureaucracy. Ed had gotten the jump on him after all, and that was definitely a civilian bar Kakashi had taken him to last night. Everyone in this world supposedly had chakra; ninja were just usually the only ones with enough extra to spare on magic tricks. But he’d seen scholars in the capitol who’d learned to use sealing scrolls. _ _

_ _Taking the scroll had been a drunken impulse, one that would probably come back to bite him in the butt. But if that was going to happen anyway, shouldn’t he at least get something out of it? _ _

_ _If there was anything Ed was good at, it was talking himself into his own bad ideas. So now he just needed to figure out how to open it._ _

_ _He jumped at the sound of a floorboard creaking in the next room. Shit, shit, shit! He'd offered to let Kakashi stay!_ _

_ _Shoving the scroll back in his boot for lack of a better hiding place right now, he rolled off the mattress (he was still fully dressed from last night) and swung open the door to the office. Kakashi was sitting on the couch eating one of Ed’s granola bars. There was also a camera sitting on the cushion next to him that definitely wasn’t there last night._ _

_ _“Yo,” Kakashi waved casually._ _

_ _“...I thought you left,” Ed remarked bluntly, only realizing after the words left his mouth how rude that came out._ _

_ _Kakashi nodded. “I did, but I came back because I wasn’t sure you remembered that I had to break your door down last night. It didn’t seem right to leave this place with the front door essentially hanging open.” He jerked a thumb back through the door toward the front room. _ _

_ _Ed jerked. “You did what?” _ _

_ _“You lost the key and I didn’t have any other way to get in. You’ll have to apologize to your neighbors for me. I think we woke them up.”_ _

_ _Ed bristled. “I didn’t _lose_ the key, I just don’t use it.” _ _

_ _Kakashi stared back at him with an infuriatingly blank face. Why did he always have that weird mask on anyway? “Well, the door was definitely locked.”_ _

_ _Right. He couldn’t come out and say he alchemically locked the door because he thought having a key jangle around in his pocket was annoying. _ _

Ed rubbed his temples, the conversation doing nothing for his hangover headache. “Right, well, I _am_ a repairman. No big deal. Thanks for making sure no one broke in and robbed me.” 

_ _Kakashi shrugged. “What are friends for?”_ _

Ignoring the welcome feeling that he had an actual _friend_ even after last night’s display (oh no, had he had a pity party about _Rose_, too?), Ed pointed at the camera. “What’s that? It’s not mine.” 

_ _“It’s mine,” Kakashi replied evenly. “I thought as long as I was coming back here, I should drop this off for repair. Everyone’s telling me I need to take up a new hobby, so I dug this out of storage a week or so back. It’s behaving a little clunkily though.”_ _

_ _Ed gave Kakashi a skeptical look. “You like taking pictures?”_ _

“If I wasn’t raised to be a shinobi, I may have liked to be a photojournalist,” Kakashi replied, completely straight-faced. “Ah, one moment,” he opened the back of the camera and popped out a film canister. “It’s been so long since this has last been used, I _thought_ there might still be a roll in here, and I was right. Let me just take this.” He dropped the film canister into his pocket and then placed the camera down on the counter of the kitchenette. 

_ _“Okay,” Ed said, rubbing his face. “I’ll take a look. Uh, no charge, I guess. Consider it thanks for last night.” _ _

_ _“Like I said,” Kakashi replied, tone strange. “What are friends for.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a reminder, in canon Ed writes all his research notes in code, disguised as a travelogue. I imagine he kept up the habit in his personal journals, even though no one in this world can read Amestrian anyway.
> 
> His letters to Ling, however, are written in Xingese and are not in code, mostly (because no one can read Xingese, either, even though it looks similar to the local language at a glance - enough to confuse Kakashi to the reason why he can't read it). However, Ed insists they be careful about what they write anyway, just in case.
> 
> I had to go back and edit a previous chapter to make this one work. Just one sentence! Hope no one notices.


	16. The Last Two Years: Envy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed, Ling, and Envy have been in the Elemental Countries for just over two years when Ed first enters Konoha. So what exactly were they all doing that whole time? Envy's been being a little shit, per usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? It's early? Oh, but it's also exceptionally short.

_Some point over the previous two years_

Even the most lonesome, jaded, suspicious, and hated human has _someone_ they’d follow to a second location alone. All it takes is a few words said in just the right way, and just the right look in one’s eyes – lusty, frightened, kind, hopeful, it was all the same to Envy. It just reinforced, over and over, that humans were determined to be naive. 

All it had to do was discover who that person was, and what they were to each other. Which, frankly, was never all that hard. The big guy hadn’t suspected for even a moment, and not even his frankly overdone armor could save him when _Envy_ made itself into a blade. Eat your heart out, Lust. 

Watching him fall, that look of hurt betrayal on his face, was a thing of beauty. What was it humans said? “Timmbbeerrr!” 

Envy eagerly awaited the roar of the beast, the physical presence of something _that large_ displacing the air, looming overhead, and radiating malice; ready to take out its mindless hate and rage on whatever settlement of humans had the misfortune to fall in the path of its rampage. Any moment now it would come raging out like a hurricane. 

Any moment. 

But each moment came and went, as finally the pool of blood slowly but steadily spreading out from the body reached Envy’s waiting toes, and still nothing happened. 

“What. Is. _This_. BULLSHIT!” Envy screeched, kicking the limp body. Shifting into a bear, it sniffed the air, the body, the blood...and smelled nothing but blood, cooling flesh, air tinged with night flowers and sweating humans in the town and distant thunder and the faint, faint, faint sweet scent of decay already beginning to bloom in the soft tissues of what moments before had been a jinchuriki.

Envy roared its displeasure. Wasn’t this the vessel of the great Five-Tails? It was, Envy was _sure of it_! So why had the Five-Tails not been released when its human cage had been killed? 

The homunculus swallowed its rage – that wasn’t its aspect. Leave that to Wrath. Time to change tactics. 

Envy became a butterfly, but ultraviolet revealed nothing unseen. A pit viper – but infrared was similarly void of useful information. A robin – but the electromagnetic field showed no disturbance. Envy became something it didn’t even have a name for. And there it was! The _fucking_ beast had dissolved back into the atmosphere! Envy was standing in a thick (thick, and rapidly growing thinner) cloud of it right now! 

“No,” it hissed through gritted teeth. “You don’t _get_ to wriggle your way out of this miserable existence that easily.” But it was too late. Envy knew it. There was just _so much_ of it, but the billions of molecules of chakra that had been the Five-Tails was already diminished from what it should have been. Envy had _royally_ screwed up somewhere. 

Shifting back into its preferred form, Envy bit a lip and dug a toe into the soft dirt, muddy from the blood. It could already hear in its head all the caustic admonishments from Pride. Then it sneered. Pride could choke on his own tongue for all Envy cared. It was running the show here. And it could finally get what it wanted without having to do it Father’s way.

The Five-Tails _would_ reform. Like water evaporating into thin air, eventually the day would come when that air fell back to earth as rain. But it could take years, _decades_ even, before the dumb beast was dragged back into conscious form for Envy to exploit. 

The homunculus didn’t doubt it would be here to see that day come, but every _second_ watching the humans enjoy the life they didn’t deserve was a whetstone grinding, grinding, grinding away, sharpening the grudge inside of it to a killing edge. 

Having a blade inside didn’t feel nice. Envy had come to the conclusion all on its own that the only way to feel better was to turn the blade on someone else. Destroying humanity by unleashing unkillable mountain-sized hellbeasts on them until there was nothing left of the ungrateful, undeserving little shits should do the job nicely. But just killing the human container apparently was the _wrong_ way to go about it, which just didn’t make sense.

There had to be a way to extract the damn things. It had certainly heard enough rumors of Tailed-Beasts escaping before in just the short time it had been in this crapsack world. And the humans must have _some_ way of moving them around from human cage to human cage, at the rate they went through them, without misplacing the beast every time.

Maybe Envy missed its siblings and Father just a little bit. Getting to do whatever you wanted was great! Wouldn’t give it up. But having to figure out what to do yourself was irritating beyond belief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I always imagine Envy as a huge potty mouth? 
> 
> Longer chapter available...at some point.


	17. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter, everybody. Christ is risen.

“I didn’t have enough time or film to get every page in every book,” Kakashi concluded, handing over the film canister to Inabi, “but there’s a photo of every page he’s written since arriving in Konoha.” 

The police captain rolled the canister back and forth in his palm, deep in thought. 

“The ciphers team–” Kakashi began, but Inabi cut him off. 

“I thought I made my position clear.” His annoyance was evident in his voice. “I will involve T&I and their code experts when and only when I deem it necessary. By your own admission, that torn sheet may simply have been an innocent letter to a friend like any civilian might send at the end of a journey.”

Kakashi gritted his teeth, but nodded.

The Uchiha placed the film roll into his own pocket. “I’ve got a brother-in-law who translates books for a living. I’ll pass these along once I get them developed. Call them a personal project, see if he can make heads or tails of this script. He knows how to be discreet.”

Seeing the reproach in the younger man’s eye, the captain’s mood veered rapidly toward anger at the insubordination, but just as suddenly vanished as the officer seemed to deflate, sitting down heavily at his desk in the private office, away from prying eyes.

“I understand your concern, Hatake, but what _you_ don’t realize is how much is really at stake here. This is about much more than how much harm one incompetent spy or untrained experiment can do in-between mending old clothes. The Uchiha…”

He trailed off. “Surely you can sense it too. Change is coming. Whether it’s a new war, or a new Hokage, I don’t know. But the people need to know they can depend on the military police to accurately assess any potential threat and act appropriately – and that they can depend on the Uchiha as a pillar of this village. This is our home too.

“I know you think the way to prove that is by handing this off, but I don’t. We can and will resolve this situation on our own merits.”

“Then why involve me so closely?” Kakashi pointed out, defiant but a note of curiosity creeping in. “I’m no Uchiha. You could just order me to stay out of it.”

“You have an Uchiha eye, don’t you? It’s a tool to protect – and that’s what we really need to impress on these people,” the captain grumbled bitterly, more to himself than to Kakashi. Louder, he said, “I’d think you’d understand better than anyone in the village. You have something to prove as well.”

Kakashi stiffened at the words. “Am I free to go?”

“Yes, just keep me updated on anything else peculiar he says or does. _Particularly_ about Liore. I don’t care what time of day or night - I want to know.”

Kakashi gave a short nod and turned to go. Hand on the doorknob, he stopped.

“Yes? Was there something else?” Inabi asked, seeing him hesitate.

Kakashi’s hand dropped off the knob and to his side, clenching into a fist, but he didn’t turn away from the door.

“I...I don’t like this. It doesn’t make sense. He’s _clearly_ hiding something, he’s _obviously_ more dangerous than he appears, but...he’s just so strange! And friendly! And naive. It doesn’t seem like an act. But it is. It must be. It has to be. And I’m going to get to the bottom of it.” He was trembling faintly, Inabi noted with concern and fascination. 

Then the last Hatake yanked the door open and stalked off, body flicker-ing away and vanishing out the door of the building behind another officer without so much as ruffling the other’s clothes in his wake.

__________

Ed had barely gotten the front door sorted and was testing it out when a tiny missile made of feathers shot into the room through the bare inches he held the door open by.

“The fu– Lan Fan!” Ed slammed the door and flipped the newly repaired lock, turning to face the clearly distressed hawk flapping disorientatedly around the room.

He finally managed to grab her from the air, getting whacked with her wings several times in the process, before pulled her against his chest, holding her wings folded tight against her body to keep her still. He could feel her heart beating rapidly under her heaving chest. She looked sick. 

“What happened to you?” He asked aloud in bafflement, more to himself than the hawk. Ling would never let his precious nin-hawk fall into this condition, which worried him more than a little. 

Removing the scroll from her back, he carried her into the office and filled a dish with water, digging out the jerky she liked as well. She fell onto it like a starving animal when he set her down down beside it, which he guessed she was. Not sick so much as half starved and severely dehydrated. 

Frowning in concern, he pulled out more jerky and set it near her while she gulped down water before turning his attention to the scroll. Breaking the seal and unrolling it, he only managed to skim the first line before gasping in shock.

“But...this is _my_ message to Ling! It was never delivered?” He flipped it over as if hoping Ling’s reply was on the back, but it was clear the message had never been opened.

“Why would he send it back unread? Is he in trouble? Under duress, or...” he asked the bird, trailing off in dread at the possibilities. Lan Fan gave a distressed, uncertain sounding cry and flapped her wings a bit, hopping in a partial circle.

“...you couldn’t find him,” Ed breathed in realization. “But it’s been weeks!” He was dumbfounded. It wasn’t unusual to go a month or even two without seeing the hawk, but that wasn’t because she was slow or easily lost or distracted. It never took her more than two or three days to locate one of them, no matter how far apart their travels took them. 

Ling only sent her around when he had news to pass on, and otherwise kept her with him. Lazy thing that he was, he claimed it was so that she could do all the hunting for him (and Ed knew she did, in fact, catch rabbits for him), but Ed knew he liked the company and often talked to her as if she was the Lan Fan he’d left behind. 

If Lan Fan hadn’t found Ling in all this time, and clearly she hadn’t stopped looking for long enough to even hunt for _herself_...it wasn’t encouraging news to say the least.

Crouching down so his face with level with the bird’s, he looked her straight in one intelligent golden eye, not so far in color from his own. “We’ll find him and get him out of whatever mess he’s gotten himself into.”

Lan Fan blinked, then gobbled down the rest of the jerky before fluttering up to sit on his shoulder. It was an affection she rarely allowed. 

“Right, then. You recover for a bit. I…” he sighed, glancing at the door to the kitchenette swinging softly on its hinges. “I have to fix another door.”

__________

Ed decided to take the day off from opening the shop in any official capacity. If he chose to leave the “Back in 10 minutes” sign up all day, that was _his_ business, literally. He needed to get to the market and get more meat for Lan Fan anyway. And like, a perch or bird toys or something. 

Since he’d arrived, he’d noticed Konoha messenger hawks looked different – smaller and darker in color. Lan Fan would stand out if she was going to hang about long-term, but he didn’t need her biting his ears off his head in boredom if she was going to be cooped up in the apartment.

It was while he was walking back, idly considering ways to keep an anxious nin-hawk entertained that he remembered. Nin-animals had chakra. He took off back towards the apartment at a run.

“Lan Fan!” he shouted, making immediately for the back room. Lifting the storage scroll out from where he’d stashed it under his mattress after Kakashi left, he called, “come in here!”

“Lan Fan!” he called again, retreating back into the kitchen. The hawk was on the table, nosing through the grocery bag he’d tossed there on his way through, and tugging out a package of wrapped venison.

“Hey, leave that!” The bird glared at him. “It’s _for_ you, but at least let me unwrap it. And don’t gobble the whole thing!

"I’m getting off-track. Open this!” He thrust the scroll at the bird, who offered an offended stare in return.

“Don’t give me that look,” Ed scowled. “I know you know what I want, and I know you can manipulate chakra.”

The bird turned away from him and went back to shredding the packaging with her sharp beak.

“It’s for Ling!”

She stopped.

He grinned. He had her now. “Ling sent me here to find something for him. You know that. Well, whatever’s in this scroll could help him find what he’s looking for.”

She glanced back at him assessingly.

He held the storage scroll out steadily. With a whistle, she hopped up on the scroll, both taloned feet wrapping around the seal holding it shut. With a puff of smoke, the scroll unraveled and out popped a mask. 

A wooden mask - unpainted, simple, no facial features except for carved holes for the eyes and a small slit near the nose to breathe through. Unimpressed, Lan Fan snapped at Ed’s hair, tugging painfully, before fluttering back to the table to tear through the meat with a vengeance.

Ed simply stared, a huge grin spreading across his face. This was better than he expected. A lot, lot, better. Now he simply needed to figure out how and when to use it.

_______

Naruto knocked hesitantly at the door. The top half was open, so Edwa–, Mr. Elric was probably open for business, but he couldn’t see over the top half to tell for himself. 

Mr. Elric leaned out over the top moments later. He sighed. “Hey, Blondie. What do you want?”

It wasn’t said aggressively like he usually heard the phrase, but he still dropped his eyes to his feet at the words and considered changing his mind. 

Fingering the pouch at his waist, he untied it and held it up. He’d found more throwing stars just past the training field near his secret spot (he had gone back alone after wasting a day with Iruka searching for the watch – he was annoyed he had to waste a perfectly good day off school he could have spent thinking up new pranks, but needs must – but he still hadn’t been able to find it in the place he was sure he’d thrown it).

“Could you help me sharpen these? I want to use them to practice, but they’re too dull. They won’t stick in the wood of the training post.

“I don’t really got any money to pay you, but if you could just show me how to use a whetstone I could do it myself!”

“Teach a man to fish, and all that?” Edward remarked, causing Naruto to wrinkle his nose in confusion. 

“I know how to fish already, but thanks. I just want to sharpen these.” 

“I’d help, but I don’t know how to use a whetstone, either,” the repairman confessed. “It’s fine, though. I’ll sharpen them for you. Just go don’t telling anyone or they’ll complain I’m cheating them.”

He held out a hand for the pouch. When he saw Naruto hesitating, he rolled his eyes. “You can watch and have them back right away if you’re so concerned I’ll steal them. Just come in and close the door behind you." 

‘He doesn’t know how to–? Oh right. His secret jutsu must really do everything!’ Naruto thought, carefully shutting the the door behind him, and pushing the open half closed as well at Edward’s direction.

Since he had an audience and all, Ed decided to show off. The kid already knew about his alchemy, even if he thought it was a jutsu, and they weren’t in public so he might as well let him watch. Sharing the secret might make him _more_ inclined to keep shut about it. 

He pulled out a piece of chalk from his pocket, and cleared some space on the table. Clapping his hands to perform circle-less alchemy was by far more astounding to anyone who knew anything about alchemy, but circles tended to look more impressive to a layman. Just clapping your hands wasn’t very interesting to watch. 

He was briefly annoyed that Naruto didn’t show any reaction to him drawing a perfect circle in one easy motion. He added a few extra symbols to transform the five-pointed stars to ten-pointed ones, just to show off. 

As he watched Ed sketch out the interior of the circle in interest, Naruto remarked, “you said you were an apprentice right?”

“Uh huh.”

“So did your teacher know a secret fixing things jutsu too?”

“Nah, just the same one as me. I lied earlier. It’s not a family thing. A lot of people in my homeland know how.”

Naruto briefly looked betrayed, before becoming overcome with excitement. “So maybe I could learn it too? And no one else in my class would know it, not even stupid Sasuke!” 

Ed shrugged. “Maybe you could, maybe you couldn’t. Not everyone has the talent for it.”

He upended the bag of shuriken over the circle, then tapped a finger against the edge. When the new stars unfurled, Naruto gaped. ‘Wow!’ 

He reached out to grab one before the reaction finished, stopping only when Ed shot out an arm to hold him back until the glow faded. Picking one up, the boy immediately dropped it, sucking a drop of blood off his finger from where’d he cut himself on the razor edge. “Cool!”

“You have to teach me!” He bounced on his heels, hands folded together in a begging gesture. “Please? I’ll practice so hard! Every day, I promise!” 

Ed laughed. “You don’t strike me as the studious type, kid. Wasn’t your teacher complaining about having to bribe you to do your homework?” 

Naruto flushed. “That’s different. That’s boring stuff. This is super super cool!” 

Ed smugly accepted the praise. “I’ll think about it, kid. Maybe I like being the only person in Fire Country who knows this jutsu.” 

As the kid’s face dropped, Ed decided to take pity. “Hey, before I was accepted as an apprentice, I had to solve a riddle first. ‘One is all, all is one.’ You come back to me with the answer, I’ll give you some pointers.”

Sweeping up the new exceptionally pointy and hopefully still aerodynamic throwing stars into the bag, he handed them back over. “Don’t slice off a finger with those.”

The kid’s brow was still scrunched up in deep thought at the riddle. Ed chuckled. “You don’t have to come up with an answer right now, you know. Think on it. If it takes a while, it takes a while. Come back in a month or whatever.” 'If I'm still here by then,' he privately thought.

Suddenly, the kid’s gaze lit up with realization. “Oh, I know! This one’s easy! The answer is Konoha!”

Stumped at the seeming non-sequitur, Ed asked, “Mind explaining that leap of logic?”

“Well, the village is made up of lots of shinobi and clans, so they’re the ‘all’. But even though we aren’t all related, we’re all one big family! Together we make the village. That’s the ‘one’! Even all the dead shinobi and the ones that aren’t born yet, cause we’re all united in loving and cherishing Konoha.”

He grinned. “Next time give me something harder. Gramps Hokage and Iruka-sensei talk about that _all_ the time. But they call it the Will of Fire, which is why I didn’t get it right away.”__

_ _Edward stopped still, fingers drumming on the table, and then sat down, some look Naruto couldn’t decipher on his face. “Why don’t you tell me more about this, uh, ‘Will of Fire’,” he said slowly. “So I can be sure I understand. Especially the part about,” his mouth twitched, “‘all the dead shinobi and the ones that aren’t born yet.’”_ _

_ _He didn’t seem angry, so Naruto dragged a chair over and sat himself down as well. _ _

_ _“Well, the village wouldn’t exist without shinobi. So all the ninja all the way back to the Founders had to protect it so all the ninja today can live in it. And the ninja today have to protect it so other ninja get to live in it later. And if those ninja protect it too, the village will exist forever!”_ _

_ _He paused, but Edward still looked expectant, so he thought about what else he could add. “And the ninja who protect it really well get remembered, like on the memorial stone or getting their face on the mountain! So it’s like they get to live forever too, as part of the village.”_ _

_ _Naruto grinned proudly. “I’m gonna be Hokage, so I’m going to get my face on the mountain.”_ _

_ _“What about the people who don’t ‘protect it really well’, who just live here and don’t get their faces on the mountain. Do they live on as part of the village, too?”_ _

_ _“Ehhh,” Naruto grimaced. He’d already answered, why was he being made to keep explaining? Wasn’t he right? _ _

_ _“Well, I guess no one remembers their names, and stuff. But…” he put a hand to his chin in thought. “Yeah, I think so! Like, Teuchi at Ramen Ichiraku! He said his ramen is his grandpa’s recipe! I never met his grandpa, but his ramen recipe is still around, so...it’s like I remember him through his ramen!”_ _

_ _Ed drummed his fingers against the table again, agitatedly. “That’s not quite what I meant. Let me put it another way. What about people who don’t live in Konoha?”_ _

_ _Naruto frowned in thought. “Well, there’s other villages but I don’t know if they have Will of Fire or not. Iruka-sensei says the Will of Fire is what makes Konoha special. But,” he suddenly looked contemplative. “If you have it, maybe they do have it and just call it something different too.”_ _

_ _Ed looked encouraging now. “What about a deer in the forest?”_ _

_ _“Eh?” Naruto thought he knew where this was going before, but now he was completely lost. _ _

_ _“Do deer have something like it?”_ _

_ _“No,” Naruto answered, looking confused why he was even being asked this question. “Deer don’t live in villages. Why would they need to protect a village?”_ _

_ _Ed questioned why was he pushing this this much. He didn’t actually want to get some street kid started learning alchemy, and he certainly didn’t have this many hints when his teacher forced the lesson into his head. But he hadn't had the first clue when he started, either. He sighed._ _

_ _“Just think about it.”_ _

_ _Sensing he was about to be asked to leave, and that some big decision concerning him was about to be made without him, Naruto panicked. _ _

_ _“Can I sit here while I think about it?”_ _

_ _Ed stared at him for a long moment. “Sure,” he eventually responded. _ _

_ _Naruto sat on his chair, swinging his legs and staring intently at the wall as if it held all the answers of the universe, while Ed moved around the room, repairing the items other villagers had dropped off, all by using carefully and precisely drawn circles to stall for time for Naruto. When he finished the last item, he heard a voice begin speaking hesitantly behind him._ _

_ _“Deer don’t live in a village. They live in the forest. So they probably want to protect the forest,” Naruto said into the silent workshop._ _

_ _Ed turned his way. “How can they do that?” _ _

_ _Naruto bit his lip. He didn’t have an answer. “Keep thinking on it,” Ed responded._ _

_ _He moved into the office/kitchen area, and began to cook up a simple omelette. After a few moments, Naruto poked his head around the corner of the door frame and sat at the table._ _

_ _“I didn’t know you had a hawk,” he commented at the bird now perched on the older blond’s shoulder. _ _

_ _“I wouldn’t say she’s _mine_,” Ed remarked. “But she’s certainly living here for now.” He turned his head from watching the eggs to gesture to the mini-fridge humming away under a counter. “There’s some meat in there you can give her.”_ _

_ _Naruto excitedly got up and went over, delighted at watching the hawk tears strips from the hunk of meat in his hand as he sat back at the table._ _

_ _Eventually Ed placed a plate in front of him, and Naruto didn’t even bother asking permission before digging in. It was good, even if there _were_ vegetables in it. _ _

_ _Naruto laughed when after Ed placed his own plate down, he tried to swat the bird away and begin wrapping up the meat again, only to receive a nip in the process. “That’s enough, you glutton,” he grumbled to the bird. “Go take a nap or something.” The bird screeched in his ear then flapped away to perch on the back of the couch a few feet away while Ed picked up his utensils. _ _

_ _Naruto gobbled down the rest of his food and wiped his mouth, finally ready to put into words what he’d been thinking. _ _

“Deer and hawks and stuff are part of the forest, so that makes them the ‘all’, like shinobi. And the forest is their village, so that’s their ‘one’. I guess, when a deer dies, a hawk’s gonna wanna eat it, and then it’ll live longer cause it won’t be hungry anymore. So, I think that’s how the deer helps protect the forest.” 

Putting down his utensil, he added, thoughts turning, “And if the village _and_ the forest are ‘one’, then is Fire Country actually ‘one’? Is the whole world ‘one’ and all the people and deer and stuff ‘all’?" 

_ _He groaned, and flopped his head down on the table. “This makes my brain hurt.”_ _

_ _He jolted when he was swept up out of his seat, but relaxed when he realized it was a hug rather than an attack._ _

_ _Ed looked down at him from inches away, grinning. “Well, if you’re serious about wanting to learn my fixing things jutsu, your brain's gonna hurt a whole lot more.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi is mad at himself for wanting to be friends with someone who is so clearly a spy. And he's even more mad at Ed for being SO clearly a spy that Kakashi can't even claim plausible deniability.


	18. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it gauche to reveal how many subscribers you have? Cause it's probably not a lot compared to some big fics but I am just so thrilled beyond belief by the number.

He’d originally started on teaching Naruto basic alchemic symbology – he figured he could go over a few new elements and symbols each lesson, then leave the kid with a worksheet with the instructions to write in the meaning next to the symbol. That would keep him occupied for a while, right? 

But after a couple frustrating afternoons filled with “so the sun and moon mean ‘soul’ and ‘mind’? Yesterday you said they meant gold and silver!” 

And “all these triangles look the same! How am I supposed to know if this is really ‘air’ or if I’m just looking at ‘earth’ upside down?” 

And “salamander means fire? I thought the triangle meant fire! This is dumb anyway, salamanders like water. I found one in the river last week and put it in Mizuki-sensei’s water glass!” 

And “Potassium? Iruka-sensei says I should eat edamame to get more potassium. Do I need to eat edamame to do the jutsu?” 

And “When do I get to do the cool stuff?” 

Well, Ed gave it up as a pointless task.

It’s not like he was training the kid to take the state alchemist’s exam. For Truth’s sake, the kid didn’t even know he was learning alchemy! He wasn’t going to need to be able to recognize symbols in other alchemists’ circles to try to understand their purpose, because he wasn’t going to encounter other alchemists. He didn’t need to know the symbols to create new circles of his own, because Ed wasn’t going near that topic with the kid with a ten-foot pole, lest he put dangerous ideas in his head. He certainly didn’t need to know the full extant of what alchemy could do. 

He only needed to learn enough to draw and activate a simple circle or two from memory. Just enough to be useful and impress his friends and gain some fucking self-confidence, give him a reason to stop acting like a mopey teen at the age of seven for no reason Ed could see. 

And Ed remembered that feeling of performing alchemy for the first time, the feeling he _still_ got sometimes – the sheer joy and exhilaration of it, of being connected to something so powerful (and yes, feeling that energy bend to his will). The kid needed to know he could do something meaningful (_not_ pranks) to really start opening up and make the most of his potential. If it was something some more talented ninja kid couldn’t show him up at, all the better.

(But it was a bit of a shame, because Ed couldn’t help but wonder what kind of new arrays an adult, properly trained Naruto might come up with.)

Ed ended up choosing three basic arrays for Naruto - ones he thought the kid could conceivably learn before Ed had to book it out of the village (when his visa expired if he was unlucky in his search, and much sooner if his luck held up), and ones he might find useful. 

None actually involved transmuting one substance into another, instead using only the original substances, which should make them easier to learn.

The first was the array he used to sharpen kunai and any other blades people brought to him. Just a simple matter of shifting atoms away from the blade edge. 

The second was an array to repair tears in clothing. A bit lazy, considering a needle and thread would do the job just as well, but...eh. Alchemy was faster. An array to alter clothing would probably be more useful – growing kid, orphan without a lot of money, and all that – but with all the variables involved in that kind of thing, it seemed a bit...experienced for Naruto. 

The last was a very basic array to shape earth. It was in fact a simpler version of the very first transmutation Ed had ever successfully performed – transmuting a small clay horse out of the ground, as a gift for his mother. 

This array wouldn’t be able to even transmute ordinary dirt into hard clay. It just sorta moved the dirt around. Ed figured Naruto could safely continue to practice this one on his own after Ed skipped town, and he could make it more powerful when he got older without having to alter the circle simply by channeling more energy to it as he got more experienced at it. 

Seeing as it had been mistaken for an earth jutsu before, the kid could add it to his ninja arsenal without anyone being the wiser. Ed didn’t kill people and didn’t believe alchemy should be used to kill, but don’t let it be said he let any student of his (no matter how temporary) go without a way to defend themselves in a fight against people who weren’t as scrupulous. 

So what did this mean for his lessons? Well, for right now it meant trying to keep Naruto interested looking at samples of different materials (cloth, metal...dirt) under a microscope, and explaining the differences between steel and iron, silk and cotton, and how to recognize different materials by look and feel. 

It was going...okay. Some days Naruto was definitely more interested than others, but he at least seemed to be committing to his promise to study. Maybe they could try a transmutation soon. If it didn’t work, that’d be a better test than anything towards whether the kid was adequately absorbing any of this.

__________

Kakashi usually only ambushed Ed on his way in and out of places, so he wasn’t too worried about any unexpected appearances in the middle of his research binges at the library in the afternoons. His routine there was well enough established at this point that the silver-haired man rarely accompanied him, and then usually headed straight for the fiction section when he did, leaving Ed to his own devices. Bored, Ed guessed, by his interest in what must be “basic” chakra theory to the other man. 

But today in particular he was glad to not have to deal with the other man in step next to him and then try to act like today was the same as every other day before.

After all, it had been Kakashi who had first suggested how unusual it would be for anyone to try to break into the restricted section in the daytime…

He grabbed a few books he’d left off on last time from the shelves, and dropped them off at his usual table, before turning away again as if to grab another he’d forgotten. Instead his path took him down the hallway toward the restricted section.

He didn’t act sneaky about it. The way Kakashi had described it back then was that the whole hall was covered in a genjutsu that made most people’s eyes slide off it, so it stood to reason the whole “you see nothing” act would cover anyone in the hallway as well. 

Trying to act casual as he walked past, he glanced in and didn’t see anyone inside. Kakashi had also said it was rarely used. So he stopped, and glancing back toward the mostly empty public side of the library to make sure no one was glancing this way, he took a hesitant step forward...and right through the barrier.

He grinned widely. He’d been right. The mask nestled at the bottom of the satchel slung over his shoulder was his permission slip to get in. 

He wasn’t quite confident enough yet to put it on and actually try to get someone to hand something important directly to him, and wasn't even sure where real high clearance runners would report in for duty, but this? 

This was easy!

Pulling out a bandana like he’d seen some shinobi wearing, he tied it over his head and tucked his rather distinctive hair up inside. If anyone did come into the room, he’d like a little bit of time to try to slip away before they recognized he wasn’t supposed to be in here.

It would be even better, and less risky, if he could just take some of the books out with him rather than lingering or going in and out over and over, but did he want to risk setting off some kind of alarm? He still wasn’t sure how the barrier jutsu worked, but he was in a library after all...there was probably a book in here somewhere that would explain it. He grinned again.

Sometimes having a routine was a good thing. He wouldn’t be expected to leave the library for hours.

__________

Kakashi _was_ waiting for him outside the library, which almost made Ed jump. He hadn’t snuck any books out in his bag after all, at least not today. He still wasn’t sure if he could manage it yet, and there were just. so. many! 

The restricted section was an untapped treasure trove, and it would take him a few more visits before he determined what shelves he should be concentrating his search on. 

But that all was to say he still very much didn’t want Kakashi looking in his bag. The mask alone was incriminating. It wasn’t in a scroll, since he couldn’t store or unstore it himself. 

Kakashi had no reason to look in his bag, and he had never asked to before, but now that Ed could feel the mask burning away a hole there in the back of his mind, the paranoia was creeping in. Trying to ignore it and act normal was liking trying not to think about pink elephants. 

“Ed,” the other man greeted him with what was probably a smile. “Walk you back?” 

‘Act. Casual,’ Ed firmly instructed himself. “Sure! How’s the camera, by the way? Tune-up get it working fine?”

“Oh yes,” Kakashi nodded. “I might take it for a spin later. But speaking of,”

Ed glanced up curiously. “Of the camera?”

“Well, the night before I brought the camera over.”

Ed groaned, and covered his face with one hand to hide his embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t embarrass you in front of your friends. I don’t drink a lot.”

“Ma, no, not that. It’s what you said about Liore. I keep thinking on it, and it’s got me a bit worried, is all. The peace between nations is always more fragile than any of us would like, and I wanted to get some more detail–”

“Don’t,” Ed cut him off sharply, harsher and more abruptly than Kakashi was expecting. “It was years ago. It didn’t happen in Fire Country, or any country bordering Fire. Liore was a piss-poor town no one cared about except the people who lived there, and now it’s gone. It’s not going to drag any trouble down on you here.”

‘Not in "any country bordering Fire," but that night in the bar he said it was just before the desert, which must mean bordering Land of Wind…’ Kakashi thought. ‘Land of Stone, maybe? They’re small, and being crammed between the more powerful Wind and Earth, I could see how the Daimyo would want to swiftly stamp out any insurrection.’

But that note of bitterness at the end...Kakashi recognized self-recrimination when he heard it, and it was there, clear as day, on a very interesting word in particular. 'It's not going to drag any trouble down on you _here_.' 

'I wonder if he can hear it in his own voice when he speaks,' Kakashi wondered.

“Okay,” he said aloud. “I’ll leave it alone. But I meant what I said that night. If you’d like to talk about it, I’ll be an open ear.”

"I appreciate it," Ed said, rubbing a hand over his face, "but I probably won't take you up on the offer. I shouldn't have said anything about it in the first place."

Kakashi mentally raised an eyebrow at that, but didn't press as they neared the apartment.

"Aren't you going to invite me in for tea?" he asked as Ed pulled out a key and inserted it into the lock. (When? How? Kakashi _knew_ there had been no keyhole there previously. He knew because he'd stolen the key off the counter and had a copy swiftly made when he left to retrieve the camera while Ed was sleeping the sleep of the very drunk. And there had been. no. keyhole. the last _three_ times he'd tried to use it.) 

Ed laughed. "I don't know how you'd expect to drink it without taking that mask off." Upon realizing Kakashi was actually expecting an answer, he paused. "Uh, not today. I've got quite a few repairs I've left piling up." 

'And Naruto is coming by for a lesson and I don't want to explain what it is I'm teaching him,' he thought silently.

"Maybe tomorrow, then," Kakashi countered. 

A small smile tugged at the corner of Ed's lips. "I don't know about tea, but I'll pen you in to my very busy schedule." Then he stepped inside and shut the door in Kakashi's face.

__________

Ed had been in a very good mood the last few days – he said he'd learned a lot of exciting stuff at the library recently, and at Naruto's alarmed look had assured him it wasn't anything Naruto was also expected to learn, but today he'd been distracted.

The older blond had left Naruto at the table in the tiny kitchen with a stack of paper and a pen, telling him to practice drawing circles. Not special jutsu circles either, with those weird symbols scribbled inside that made the jutsu work – just normal circles.

This was definitely lame, but what was lamer was how _hard_ it was! Ed made all of his totally perfect on the first try! Most of Naruto’s came out just slightly too tall or too fat to really be called a circle, or the ends wouldn’t match up perfectly. 

Ed had shown him this thing he called a compass – kind of like a pair of chopsticks stuck together at the top, and with a pencil on the end – that he said Naruto could use to make circles, but he’d also said it would be a lot better if Naruto could draw one freehand, so he was _determined_ to get it right.

When the stack of unused paper had started to get worryingly low, Naruto finally drew one that he thought looked right. Hopping off the stool, he glanced into the other room. Ed had vanished into the bedroom rather than the front shop room after telling him what to do today.

Was he...supposed to knock or something? 

But when he put his hand on the door, it pushed open at his touch. It hadn’t been closed all the way. 

“–to find Orochimaru.” 

Ed was talking to...his bird? Ed always said it wasn’t his bird, but it lived in his apartment, even if it didn’t have a cage. Naruto didn’t think the bird liked it, since it didn’t even have a window to look out of! But Ed had explained the other birds might be mean to her, since she looked different, which made Naruto more sympathetic to why she always stayed inside.

Naruto didn’t know for certain his looks were the reason everyone was mean to _him_, but no one offered an alternative reason, so it might have been. There certainly wasn’t anyone else in the village with his exact shade of hair and eyes.

But now he brightened. This was something he could do, something he could answer! (And might impress Ed enough to make him more charitable toward evaluating Naruto’s circle-drawing skills).

“Orochimaru’s in Tanzaku!”

Ed whirled around at his voice in shock. “What?”

“That’s who you said, right? Orochimaru? He’s in Tanzaku,” Naruto announced proudly.

“How do you know that?” Ed seemed really surprised to see him. Maybe Naruto should have knocked after all? 

“I overheard some people saying that in the marketplace yesterday!”

Well, that wasn’t precisely true, but close enough. Naruto had been hiding behind the dumpster in the alley next to the convenience store waiting for an employee to come out with the trash. He’d memorized what days and time they dumped the food that passed its “sell by” date – it was still good to eat for a while, as long as he rescued it fast so it wasn’t sitting unrefridgerated. 

The orphanage fed him, but rice and water for every meal every day got bland, and whenever there was fish or fruit or dessert to supplement it, the older boys always stole his share and the adults never did anything to stop them.

That particular day, he’d startled when the back door to the bar next door had opened and two shinobi slipped out, one pulling out a pack of cigarettes and shaking out two. 

He’d slipped further into the shadows of the dumpster and tried to breath quieter. It wouldn’t be good if they saw him and thought he was spying on them on purpose.

“Are they sure it was him?” one asked, accepting the cigarette passed to him and leaning in to the lighter held out. 

“Heck, I don’t know, but Iori seemed pretty sure.”

“But what’s Orochimaru doing in Tanzaku?” he asked, sounding frustrated. The other shrugged. 

“Who knows why that crazy fucker does anything.”

“You know if they’re sending a team out there?”

The second man opened his mouth to reply, but paused when the convenience store employee finally made his appearance in the alley with the trash.

“Not here,” he whispered, gesturing with his chin back inside, and the two shinobi ground out the cigarettes on the brick wall a tad resentfully before slipping back in to continue their conversation out of earshot.

“Tanzaku? You’re absolutely sure that’s what they said?” Ed asked, voice strained but full of an intensity that made Naruto shrink back a bit.

“I guess I'm not sure but that’s where they said he was so it’s not my fault if he’s not there!” he replied, all in one breath and a bit louder than necessary. 

“No, no, sorry. Of course,” Ed replied, tone softer. “You can find him there, right?” he whispered to the bird. “Either of them. Do you know what he looks like?” 

Naruto’s eyes widened when the bird _nodded its head_. Ed broke into a wide grin in reply.

“You’ve been a big, big help today, Naruto. Is that your circle?” He held out a hand for the paper that Naruto wordlessly held out. With a quick glance over it, he asked, “how would you like to see how performing my jutsu feels?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I start doing fic recs down here? Right now I'm enjoying In The Eye of The Beholder by Authorship.


	19. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I am so so close to 200 subscribers. Should one woman really have this kind of power? 
> 
> Anyway, everyone's lovely comments motivated me to get this one up fast.

After sending Naruto off with a promise, sealed with a pinky swear, that on his next visit he’d get his first practical lesson, Ed hurried back to the desk crammed into the corner of the kitchen designated his “office space” and pulled out a pen. 

But after staring at the page for nearly twenty minutes, lost for words, he only managed to put the pen to paper after a particularly aggressive tug on his ear from one irate bird reminding him time wasn’t something they had an abundance of.

“Ow! Okay, okay!” the blond grumbled, rubbing his ear. “Ling’s always been fine before. He’s probably just too busy eating the Sound ninja out of house and home, and wowing them with his dumb chi-sensing parlor trick to step outside long enough for you to find him.” 

But whether Ed was reassuring himself or the hawk wasn’t clear. “It’s only if he never arrived there that we have a problem…”

How was one supposed to address a head-of-state, even if a self-declared one? Certainly not the way Ed ever spoke to Fuhrer King Bradley, or even Ling for that matter. Probably best to start with flattery.

_Lord First Otokage,_

_Congratulations on your ascension to the title, richly deserved after so long._

__________

When the time the sun had gone down and the street had emptied, Ed quietly opened the top half of the door and allowed Lan Fan to jump up on the ledge. 

“Come back with that snake scientist’s answer as fast as you can. If Ling makes me quit out of here before I’ve finished searching all the books in the library just to drag his ass out of trouble, I’ll give him a beating myself,” he whispered. 

After a final gentle stroke on the head (from Ed) and an affectionate nip to the fingers (from Lan Fan), she took off, only a darker shape against the sky. 

Unbeknownst to either, as she turned in the direction of Tanzaku, another shape followed. 

__________

As Shisui took a seat beside Itachi, the meeting was already underway.

“You’re late,” his little cousin accused softly as Shisui folded his feet under himself, although the placid expression on the boy's face didn’t waver, never indicating his attention wasn’t fully on the discussion at hand.

“Couldn’t be helped,” Shisui smiled softly, before tuning his ears to the discordant arguing. 

“–aren’t enough of us to risk breaking our fighting forces against a wall with the opposition we’ll meet!”

“True, we were depending on the element of surprise. But can any other clan truly compete against an _army_ of sharingan-wielders, which can stand against even tailed beasts?”

“We need to find out exactly who this Elric character has been running his mouth to and–”

“Fear of the sharingan is what got us in this situation in the first place, and they’ll fight all the harder to put us down like the monsters they think we are.” 

“I say we just kill him.” 

“Idiot! If he’s working for the Hokage, you might as well–”

“Would the Daimyo really withdraw his sanction of Konohagakure if the coup is successful?”

“What else can we do at this point? The well has been truly poisoned against us, the only choice left for us now is–”

“I don’t see how he could. Trying to oust us would only weaken his position further. His best bet is to play that he supported us from the beginning, coward that he is,”

“If they know we’re done being docile, they may be more willing to meet us to negotiate rather than risk an actual civil war-”

"What about Uchiha field operatives? Have they managed to gather any intel on this Liore?”

“What do we really know about Edward Elric?”

“Does it matter? Regardless of his intentions in telling it, ultimately our next move should come down to whether his story is an accurate retelling or a fabrication.” 

“Hitoshi will be passing through Wind on his return to the village. A hawk was dispatched, but it’s uncertain if it will arrive in time.” 

“Right, but doesn’t Elric hang around with that _eye-thief_? That should tell us all we need to–” 

Fugaku held up a hand and the room went silent. His eyes, cold and serious, found the last man to speak. 

“I’ve already passed my ruling on _that_ matter years ago now. I believe the Hatake boy when he says the eye was given freely. To demand it back would show disrespect to the dying wish of my nephew. Or do you not trust my judgement?” His tone spoke that there was a right and wrong answer to that question. 

Although discontent was still clear in several members of the audience, none chose to voice it and the moment passed.

“To each of your points, there has always been potential for this to end poorly. I have always acknowledged that.” 

His eyes met each member of the room. “I respect the Sandaime greatly. His strength as a shinobi is undeniable, and as you know, I’ve named my own youngest son after his respected father. But his time is past. His decisions now are not right for the Uchiha, and by disrespecting and holding back one of its founding clans, ultimately not right for Konoha. 

“I was willing to pull back the clan into the confines of the compound after the Kyuubi incident to calm the public and for the protection of our clan, with the understanding it would be temporary. It has not been. I have petitioned for an Uchiha member on the Konoha Council. My requests have not been answered. Any public statements or shows of support for the Uchiha from the Hokage, who the people look to for answers, have been notably lacking. We cannot continue like this. 

"There will no doubt be resentment on the part of the other clans, which is why I’d prefer to do this quietly and with as little bloodshed as possible. People are fickle. Once they see that an Uchiha can be in charge without the world ending,” he sneered, “they’ll come around." 

“But this story of Liore is,” he paused, chewing over his thoughts. “Concerning. If true, the consequences for failure may be more dire than projected, and the margin for error wider.”

Murmurs started up, some angry, some unsure.

“You fear the outcome of our actions? You are right to fear failure, since we must not fail. But I won’t throw away Uchiha lives if failure is unavoidable. If you have doubts, bring me evidence that this Liore even existed! That their coup played out as he said. That the circumstances are at all similar to our own, that our fates will be the same. I’ll give you until the end of the summer. That is more than fair. And then we will wait no longer.” 

The ringing finality of this statement signaled the end of the meeting. As the high-profile Uchiha filed out of the room, whispering to one another, Fugaku issued one last word. 

“Itachi, stay behind please.”

Shisui lingered a bit too, outside the door and down the hall. Everyone knew how close he and Itachi were, it wouldn’t be odd for him to wait for the other. And no one outside of Anbu knew about the jutsu every agent was taught that made it much, much easier to listen in on conversations even from a room away. He leaned back against the wall, arms casually crossed, one ear pressed to the wood. 

“–disappointed in you. It has taken a lot to get you placed in Anbu, guarding the Hokage’s offices even! Not even your cousin has that honor. With this Liore business, it is more important than ever that you bring back information on what the Hokage knows and is planning. The entire future of the clan rests on your shoulders. I won’t have you dragging your feet any longer.”

__________

“A transmutation array has two parts, which you’ve already seen,” Ed began, in full-on lecture mode. 

“First, the circle, which defines the field of influence of the transmutation.” At Naruto’s poorly hid confusion, he clarified, “whatever you are trying to fix has to be inside the circle. 

“For the symbols, it’s probably easiest for you to just think of them as serving the same purpose as hand signs.” He was carefully inscribing symbols within the circle he’d drawn as he spoke. “It’s not a perfect comparison, but let’s not put too fine a point on the matter.

“You, as the alchemist,” he continued, pointing at Naruto with the chalk, only to be cut off by “As the what?”

Ed sighed, rubbing a knuckle against his forehead and leaving a smear of chalk dust behind, to which Naruto tried to stifle a snort. 

“You, as the jutsu user,” he began again, “still need to call up the energy for the transmutation, channel it through yourself, and guide it through the path laid out by the symbols. 

“Some people have trouble channeling more than small amounts of energy, which will limit the size and difficulty of the transmutations they can perform. The energy offered up needs to be equivalent to the value of the transmutation, just as the material to be transmuted cannot be less than what's needed to create the end result. But the last bit I mentioned is the _really_ hard part, and which defines whether someone has the talent for alchemy at all. 

"We can’t get too specific with circles, so to keep the transmutation on track, you need to really, beyond any shadow of a doubt, know and understand what you are setting out to do before you start trying to shove energy at it. You can’t brute force alchemy.”

Straightening up to inspect the circle, he paused and added, “uh, I meant to say, the ‘fixing things jutsu.’”

Naruto rolled his eyes and huffed out an annoyed breath. “Just cause I don’t always do great on exams doesn’t mean I’m dumb! I figured out the name of your secret jutsu is ‘alchemy.’ You only said it a million times.”

At Ed’s sheepish expression, the younger boy added, “It’s kinda a weird name, though. Did you name it? I woulda picked something much cooler. Like ‘Lightning Suture Jutsu’! Or ‘Lightning Forge Jutsu’!”

Ed laughed. “I didn’t name it, but I like your style. Maybe I’ll start shouting that before using it from now on.

“Anyway, this array is the one to repair clothes I told you about,” he said, grabbing a shinobi jacket – non-standard, otherwise they probably would have just requisitioned a new one – that a client had dropped off the other day. It had a long tear across the ribs, revealing the shredded layers of woven fibers that acted as protective padding. 

Letting Naruto poke a finger into the tear, Ed explained “the knife blade gets caught in the weave, makes it harder to stab the person wearing it. See how it didn’t go all the way through to the bottom layer? 

“Anyway,” he shrugged and threw the jacket rather carelessly inside the circle. Then he gestured for Naruto to take a seat on the floor by the array.

“Remember, keep your hands on the edge of the circle, but don’t contribute to adding energy, don’t try to move the energy, don’t do _anything_. Just feel how _I’m_ moving it.”

“Got it!”

“Okay,” Ed said, eyeing Naruto speculatively while the little blond boy eagerly scooted closer, fingertips just grazing the very edge of the chalked line. “Just feel the energy, nothing else,” he repeated, and waited for the nod in return, before placing his own hands on the circle. 

Naruto’s eyes widened in excitement as the blue sparking energy picked up, racing along the lines of the circle like fire down a line of oil. A blue glow filled the inside of the circle then, and he leaned in closer to watch as the fibers of the jacket twisted and curled and came together again in a tight weave like they’d never been damaged. 

When the glow faded, Naruto glanced up again as Ed asked, “so did you understand it?”

“Uh...sorta,” Naruto replied hesitantly, flexing his fingers against the floor. “I wasn’t really sure how you called it up - but once the energy was there I could definitely feel it moving! But I...didn’t really get what it was doing.” 

“Fair enough. Let’s try something different.”

Scuffing the edge of the circle with a toe to break it, Ed threw a cloth at Naruto, who hurried to scrub the rest of the chalk away while Ed walked off to the corner of the room and returned with a bucket. 

Redrawing a different, simpler circle, Ed up-ended the bucket, spilling dirt all over the floor, then spread it out with a hand so it was flat. Seeing his intent, Naruto helped until the dirt filled most of the circle.

“I hope you appreciate this,” Ed grumbled good-naturedly. “I’d prefer to do this outside and not have to clean this up later, but I don’t have a private yard and I’m not allowed at the training grounds anymore.”

“Why not?” Naruto questioned.

“Don’t worry about it, kid.

"This time, the goal is to move the dirt from being all spread out on the ground and into a big pile. Like a sandcastle.”

“I’ve never made a sandcastle before,” Naruto replied, in a slightly worried tone that implied he sincerely hoped this wasn’t a prerequisite.

“You know what,” Ed answered wonderingly, “I haven’t either. But this isn't hard. We’re just going to use the jutsu to push it all together into a heap. 

“It’s not quite ‘fixing things’ so let’s call this a ‘cleaning up’ jutsu. Once you practice at it, you could probably do other shapes, or maybe make it float around or something, I dunno. This one is a little less defined. But we’re doing less, so it should be easier to follow along. You ready?”

Naruto’s eyes had widened a bit at the prospect of getting to throw clumps of dirt through the air with a jutsu, but now his expression turned serious again, tinted with excitement.

When Ed activated the array, the same blue glow suffused the dirt spread across the circle, and the individual grains began to vibrate and come together. But as the pile of earth grew larger, something changed. 

The soft, electric blue glow suddenly erupted with the intensity of a magnesium flare, but red red RED _RED_ **RED**.

“Let go! Let go right now!” Naruto jerked his hands away and scrambled back in alarm at the fear and anger in Ed’s voice, something he’d never heard there until now. The energy dimmed for a brief moment, just long enough to give Naruto a second of false relief, before it turned a grotesque purple and began shooting errant bolts of lightning arcing from the edges of the array to the corners of the room. 

Ed grimaced and leaned all of his weight onto his hands, still pressed against the edges of the circle, trying to get the jutsu back under control. 

Then the floorboards splintered and the floor erupted, sending him flying back, skidding across the floor. 

Earth surged up in a jet as wide around as the full circumference of the circle and as high as the ceiling. Just when Naruto thought it would burst through the roof, it instead spilled over the edges like a geyser spout, washing the room in a flood of dirt. 

With no one controlling the array, the energy began to fade and the surging fountain of earth began to sputter out, the slowly dampening cessation of sound a shock on the ears just as much as the initial roar had been.

Naruto scrambled to his feet and ran to Ed, wading through the dirt to clutch at him. 

Together they stared wordlessly at the mess.

Then the floor groaned and began to collapse, revealing the gaping hollow-out depression underneath where the transmutation had rapidly sucked up the earth supporting the foundations of the building. 

Naruto yelped, but Ed yanked him up, one of his arms sliding beneath both of Naruto’s and across his chest, then dragged him backwards through the doorway of the kitchen office. Together they watched tables of items, which had been pushed away against the walls to make room for the circles for the lesson, slide across the now inclined floor and fall into the bottom of the hole with a resounding series of bangs and clatters. 

“Fuck,” Ed whispered in mute shock. 

Naruto only swallowed, then yelped again as Ed grabbed him and shook him violently by the shoulders.

“What the hell was that?! I _told_ you! I told you not to do anything!”

“I _didn’t_ do anything!” 

“You did! You pulled a crapload of energy up out of...I don’t even know where! And dumped it into the transmutation!” 

“I didn’t mean to!” Naruto said, in tears now.

Ed just shook him again until his ears rattled. “Do you even have the faintest clue how dangerous that was?!”

Suddenly tugging the smaller boy into himself, Ed just held him until his tears stopped and the alchemist’s own breathing evened out. It was a long while.

Sighing deeply, Ed stood up, awkwardly lifting Naruto up onto his hip, and laboriously carried him through the office kitchen, past the bedroom, and into the bathroom. Plopping the boy down on the closed toilet seat, he dropped his head into his hands and sucked in a deep breath.

“Consider the lesson over for today. I need to clean this up, and somehow explain why there’s now a giant hole in my apartment where my shop used to be when someone inevitably shows up to ask what the noise was.”

Before Naruto could even protest, the older blond clapped his hands together and pressed them against the wall to the side of Naruto’s head. 

Naruto couldn’t help but gasp, overwhelmed once again, as the wall crawled away, leaving an opening just his size. 

“I don’t want to try navigating that front room and would rather no one saw you leaving.”

Pulling him off the toilet, Ed plopped him down on his feet, then shoved him through the make-shift doorway with a push to his back.

“And for _once_, please, do what I ask and don’t breath a word of this, any of this, to anyone.”

The opening sealed up behind him.

__________

After running his hands all over the wall and banging on it to be let back in, though not daring to call out, Naruto rubbed at his still stinging eyes and ran straight to his hiding spot past the training grounds.

He didn’t go back to the orphanage that night. He slept in a tree. He couldn’t explain himself, so it was better just not to see anyone he’d have to explain himself to. 

Ed had been so angry. And Naruto hadn’t meant to! He hadn’t even been trying to! He’d just been _feeling_ the...what had Ed called it, the transmutation – trying to get a sense of the energy moving, like he was supposed to. Then he’d felt something move in himself, all by itself. And everything turned red. 

When he woke up the next morning, he wanted to go back to apologize but wasn’t sure he’d be welcome. Ed had told him to stay away. Not in so many words, but Naruto knew what he meant. 

But he also wanted to put off returning to the orphanage and having to face the matron as long as possible, and eventually his hunger drove him out of the tree, and his guilt back to the alchemist’s shop.

There was a crowd surrounding the door, which he snuck through as unobtrusively as possible. 

A “condemned” sign was plastered to the door.

“Can you believe it? A sinkhole opened up, right in the middle of the floor! Zakuro just about had a heart attack when she heard!”

“Guess no one’s getting anything they dropped off back…”

“Imagine if anyone had been in there at the time! I’m so glad no one was hurt.”

“The repairman will have to relocate, obviously. It’s fine though, I saw him leave with some of those shinobi friends of his.”

“What?” 

This last statement wasn’t uttered by any of the gossiping merchants or civilians, or Naruto, although it had been the sentence echoing through his own head.

Instead, it was asked by an intense looking shinobi with a blue face mask and crazy grey hair. He looked shocked, but that wasn’t what was important.

Ed had left! And didn’t tell Naruto where he was going! How was he supposed to apologize now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zakuro's the landlady, in case anyone forgot.
> 
> As for a fic rec, everyone should read Through The Gate, a really excellent FMA/Harry Potter crossover series by Preelikeswriting (which is infinitely more popular than this fic, lol, so she doesn't really need the help, but....it's so goooooooooooood)
> 
> Probably a Ling chapter next.


	20. The Last Two Years: Ling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another past-Ling chapter. Repeat: Past Ling! This is not a what-Ling-is-doing-right-now chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is writing so hard. Sorry, this is very short.

_Sometime during the past two years_

“Have you learned your lesson yet, boy? I am the hunter, not the prey.”

The statement was punctuated by the man shifting his full body weight onto the leg pressing down on Ling’s chest, pinning him to the ground. Crouching, he leaned one arm on the bent knee and turned his head closer to the prince’s mouth to hear the answer.

Ling coughed, blood sputtering up and dribbling over the corner of his lips. “Yes, I see that now. My mistake,” he laughed weakly.

Stretching out a finger to lightly trace an ‘x’ over the left-hand side of Ling’s chest, the shinobi mused, “It’s a shame you’re a civilian. I like to stock up whenever I can.”

Ling shuddered at the touch, the words themselves confusing but the intent behind the gesture loud and clear.

Standing up again, but leaving his foot planted on Ling’s chest, the man pulled out a book from his breast pocket and began paging through the profiles within. “You may not be entirely useless, however. Shinobi provide far higher bounties, but many villages are willing to pay to see troublesome smugglers taken out of circulation.” 

Glancing down at the man slowly bleeding out beneath his foot, he continued casually, “this will be far easier on you if you tell me which village might be willing to pay the most for you. I’ll even let you choose whether I bring you in dead or alive.”

Ling laughed again, shaky from the pain and the pressure constricting his lungs. “Why– why do you assume I’m a smuggler?”

The man scoffed, gesturing first to the claw marks raking down his face from just below one eyelid, still bleeding sluggishly, before gesturing to the bird lying crumpled on the ground a few yards away. 

“You think I don’t recognize a nin-hawk when I see one? It’s impressive you’ve managed to train it to defend you like that. I’m sure whichever village you stole it from will be very generous with their purse to whoever puts a stop to a blackmarket breeding operation of their messenger hawks.

“Judging by the plumage and size,” he remarked to himself thoughtfully, “I’d guess Suna.”

He turned to a different section of the book and began flipping through it anew, eyes flicking back and forth between the faces of wanted criminals pictured and the one at his feet.

“You won’t find me in there. I’m not a smuggler.”

The denial made the bounty hunter look down at him again with skepticism.

“How I came by La- the bird is no one’s business but my own, but no one is going to come looking for it. I deal in...information.”

Dropping the book of bounties down to his side, the bounty hunter quirked an eyebrow. “You’ve caught my attention. So tell me then, what information will you offer me in exchange for your life?”

Ling grinned. “I certainly prize my life, but allow me to make a counter-offer. Release me, let me go freely on my way, _and_ tell me the secret to your immortality, Kakuzu of Takigakure. Tell me how you’ve lived so long without aging, contemporary of the first Kages, and _I_ will tell _you_ where to find Kisame Hoshigaki.”

Replacing the book he’d been holding into his pocket and pulling out a different one, this one with a black cover, he flipped through quickly until he arrived at the page he was looking for. 

“Kisame Hoshigaki, formerly one of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of Kirigakure. Defected after the unsanctioned assassination of the Water Daimyo, taking the legendary sword Samehada with him. Now a member of the mercenary group Akatsuki, supposedly aligning with no village but suspected to operate out of Amegakure. Hmmm.”

Crouching down again, he leaned down over the prince, the better to chat face to face.

“Very well, little information broker. I’ve seen as many Kages come and go as I have by stealing the hearts of others. By taking their hearts into my body, I take their lifespan and powers as well. I can carry up to five hearts at a time. This is the secret forbidden technique of Takigakure, which I have perfected. 

“I took it with me when I left, burning all records and killing anyone who might have known it or could teach it, so I and only I may make use of it. Does that satisfy your curiosity?”

Ling sighed, the corner of his lips ticking up. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to share the technique itself.”

“If the price was right, I might. But you’d have to offer me much bigger prey than Hoshigaki, little one. Now where is he?”

Ling attempted to push himself up, but the weight of the much larger man on top of him meant he couldn’t raise more than his shoulders from the ground. “I can’t help but notice I bargained for an answer as well as my safe release, and you’ve only provided one of the two.”

“Half up-front, half on-delivery, little one. I will know if you lie to me, and then I will kill you. But tell me what you agreed to, and then and only then will I let you go.” He dug his heel in harder as he spoke, aggravating broken ribs. 

Gritting his teeth in pain, Ling gasped out, “Ame. It’s as your book suspects, he’s been living in Amegakure. But if you want to catch him alone, out of the city, he makes regular visits to the Mountains’ Graveyard.” 

“Interesting.” Stepping off the teen at last, Kakuzu pocketed his Bingo Book.

“What would the Monster of the Hidden Mist be doing all the way out there?” he mused aloud. 

Pushing himself to a sitting position, Ling coughed before replying shakily, “I haven’t learned that yet, but I assure you, that’s where you’ll find him.”

“Fine, little information broker. You may leave. I have a bounty to collect.” 

As the missing-nin turned bounty hunter stalked off into the trees, Ling waited until he could no longer sense him then scrambled over to Lan Fan, sighing in relief at seeing her chest rise and fall.

“You overprotective bird,” he whispered. “Why’d you fly at him like that? I had it handled. This is _my_ quest, I don’t want you injured on my behalf.”

Picking her up gently and tucking her into his coat, he murmured, “you won’t be flying again anytime soon. You’ll need to let your wing heal.”

Getting to his feet and slowing making his way off in the opposite direction the missing-nin had left in, he sighed. “Another dead end, another day where I almost die. I guess it’s time to put my nose to the ground again. Chasing rumors is all I'm good for these days.”

Picking his way to the nearest village, and the nearest doctor, his brow furrowed in anger as Lan Fan cried in pain. 

“I hope they end up killing each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got another fic rec, but this one isn't FMA or Naruto. If you like Demon Slayer, I'm loving Gold and Bloodred Lichtenberg by Cartoonicaddic.


	21. Chaper 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. Writing. hard.

_Earlier_

The paper stretched and fluttered, straining not to tear at the force with which the white knuckled hand gripped it. 

"You're certain the hawk was departing from Konoha." The voice was cold and calm, but betrayed by the boiling fury of killing intent rising in the room. 

"Yes, sir. We spotted it not far from the village center. My own partner nin-hawk pursued to just past the village walls, where the two engaged and this message was intercepted."

"And no one else has seen this?" 

"No, sir. It was brought directly to you.”

The sharingan spun madly, memorizing each stroke of the pen, as it flit from damning phrase to damning phrase. 

“_Lord First Otokage,_

_“Congratulations on your ascension to the title…_

_“...from one scientist to another…_

_“...seeking a man recently entered into your ranks..._

_“...propose a fair and equivalent exchange…_

_“...our shared interest in forbidden knowledge…_

_“...the return of your research notes regretfully left behind in Konoha for the continued safety of the swordsman Ling Yao…_

_“In anticipation of a fruitful transaction, _

_Fullmetal“_

“And the foreign hawk.” It wasn’t a question. It was a demand.

“Wounded in the skirmish. We lost it after it fell into the trees, and were thus unable to identify the breed with certainty.” 

It took everything in his power not to crumple the message into an unreadable ball or shred it in two. Losing control in front of a subordinate was beyond imagining. “If it survives, it will likely attempt to find its master again to warn him.”

“I understand, sir. At the time, I made the decision to prioritize expediting delivery of the retrieved scroll over capturing the bird.” A fist over his heart, the messenger bowed his head. “Allow me to make up for my transgression.”

In answer the letter was rolled up again and placed into the messenger’s hand. “Very well. If you wish to redeem yourself, find me ‘_Fullmetal_.’ Use whatever resources you deem necessary. You have my permission to reassign any member within our ranks with...useful...abilities to this mission. But I want him _found_ and brought to me _immediately_. I trust I don’t also need to remind you to be discrete.”

“Yes, sir.” With another bow, the messenger departed. 

The man sat down at his desk again, fingers tapping briskly against the wood as he planned. No one, and that meant _no one_, sold Konoha secrets under his watch.

________

Elric had left with “his shinobi friends” after a “sinkhole” opened up in his shop. Kakashi wanted to pull out his hair. It’s like the gods were playing a prank on him. 

Interrogating the civilians hanging around gossiping about it was useless as well.

To the query “what did they look like?”, he mostly got incredulous “With how you shinobi are always hiding your faces, how would I know?”, including pointed looks at his own mask. 

“They were in Konohan shinobi uniform”, but the neighbors couldn’t agree on anything more specific than that - no one had noticed or remembered anything about their appearance or gear standing out in any way. 

In regards to why they thought these men were friends of Elric’s, “He went with them willingly, didn’t he? Besides, I’ve seen him hanging out with ninja before, including _you_ deary, but I can’t be expected to recognize _everyone_ he’s friends with.”

Considering the training ground brawl that put him under police investigation in the first place, it was true that Ed didn’t strike Kakashi as a person who would hesitate to kick up a fuss before going somewhere he didn’t want to go. So who would he feel comfortable leaving with? Yes, it could only be a ninja he’d already met. 

As far as Kakashi knew, the only shinobi Ed had been publicly seen with enough to be mistaken for friends were himself...and Shisui. Those other two Uchiha in Inabi’s little investigation as well, potentially. If they were the ones who’d taken Ed, why? Where, and for what reason? What was Inabi hiding from him? What happened to cause the police captain to make a move _now_? 

The “sinkhole” seemed perfectly engineered as an excuse to get the suspect away and into custody without raising suspicion or alarm when the ‘helpless, civilian’ proprietor of a business growing in popularity suddenly vanished. 

Kakashi gritted his teeth. And then there was the matter of Naruto. Why was _he_ here? And why did the kid seem so devastated at the idea that Elric had gone? He knew they’d met, but this seemed like more than a chance encounter warranted. 

This “easy” assignment was getting to be –no, it had long been more than he was prepared for. 

He had some questions to ask.

__________

Shisui’s brow furrowed. “We didn’t bring him in, officially _or_ unofficially.”

Kakashi gave a disbelieving snort. “Well, someone did.”

Shisui stood up from where Kakashi had found him, watching on from the engawa as Itachi coached his younger brother through some academy katas he must have learned that week.

“Then that’s concerning, Kakashi. Because it wasn’t us, and there’s no other investigation.”

“There’s no one else it _could_ be. Witnesses stated they were Konoha shinobi, and Elric left with them willingly. And that story about the sinkhole is a crock of shit, so you really should feel embarrassed about even using it.”

Catching Itachi’s eye and throwing a sign he was leaving, Shisui turned away, grabbing Kakashi by the upper arm and flash-stepped the two of them to a more private location. 

“I agree that a sinkhole ‘randomly’ opening up in the business distinct, and inside a building rather than in the street, is...unlikely to say the least. It’s ninjutsu without a doubt. Which makes this a very alarming development.”

Kakashi took a step back from the Uchiha, crossing his arms. “So you’re sticking with your story? The police force didn't cause this mysterious sinkhole as an excuse to move Elric out of that building? I wouldn't blame you if you had. I might even applaud your imagination," he mused only half convincingly. "The place certainly made it annoying to keep an eye on him." 

Shisui frowned, aggravated. “No, we didn't. Which raises several disturbing alternative possibilities, none of which I like. If we assume Elric is who he says he is, was he attacked again by the same person who destroyed the training ground where they first attempted to frame him? And if that’s the case, why did he leave with them?”

Kakashi gave in, for now willing to go along with the idea he wasn’t being played for a fool and this was a real line of investigation. 

“It’s possible. Both instances used an unknown earth jutsu. In the first attack, the caster was able to conceal their chakra from my sharingan, and or else cast from a great distance,”

“Both equally concerning,” Shisui cut in to note.

“Assuming the same is true for the second attack,” Kakashi continued, “and that Elric doesn’t know who they are, they could have first cast the jutsu while still hidden, then introduced themselves as trying to help rescue him. Which still doesn’t explain why he’s being targeted, or why they were dressed in Konoha uniforms.”

Shisui sighed. “And then there’s the other option. Elric cast the unknown jutsu that sank his shop himself. Which would mean he did somehow manage to cheat Captain Inabi’s chakra test at the police station, and I can tell you, _I_ don’t have that fine control over how my chakra reacts. It's supposed to be autonomous.”

Kakashi followed that thought to its obvious conclusion, “in which case we would have to assume he did cast that first, strange jutsu that injured the Akimichi.”

“Yes,” Shisui agreed. 

“But what is he trying to accomplish?” Kakashi entreated. “Besides tossing around some, no offensive to the Akimichi kid, unimportant chunin and then destroying his own place of business without harming anyone or any additional property?”

Shisui rubbed at his eyes. “We’re just going around in circles, asking the same questions as we were before, over and over in slightly different ways.”

“But this time, there _is_ something different,” Kakashi pointed out lowly.

“Yes, this new party. Is there another group within Konoha investigating Elric independently, a group from outside Konoha who has infiltrated the village for the purpose of getting to Elric, or has he had accomplices hiding in the village this entire time ready to extract him after whatever he accomplished today?” 

__________

“Umino.”

It was gratifying to watch the chunin’s shoulders jump up to his ears as he startled. He’d found the man up on the roof of the academy building, his back to Kakashi as he leaned against the railing on his elbows, face tilted up to feel the sun’s rays. 

The younger man (god, teaching should be a job for retired or invalidated shinobi, not a young able-bodied man who could be serving on missions, why did the Hokage allow this?) whipped around, eyes widening comically as he recognized Kakashi, though whether he recognized him as the unstable and untrustworthy heir of the doomed and disgraced Hatake clan, as a former Anbu, or simply as a powerful jounin of the village was unclear (and unimportant). 

Raising both hands slightly, palms face out to Kakashi to convey, ‘I don’t want trouble, the roof is yours,’ Umino took a step away from the railing and bobbed a small bow in deference to Kakashi’s superior rank before making to retreat back down the stairs into the building.

“Not so fast,” Kakashi grabbed his wrist and spun him back around to face him. “Do you know what your precious student’s been up to?”

Umino frowned in confusion before his eyes flicked out over the railing again to where the pre-genin were running around below like little maniacs, enjoying the short recess between the end of lunch and the return to the classroom.

“Not down there. I mean outside of Academy hours.”

Umino’s brow wrinkled but he shrugged lightly, then jerked a thumb over his shoulder back toward the door hesitantly in an “am I free to go?” gesture.

“You will stay here until you answer my questions to my complete satisfaction. I’m talking about _Naruto_. Naruto Uzumaki. Do you know what he’s been doing outside of your class?” Kakashi had to resist the urge to shake the man. 

The chunin’s eyes widened in surprise before narrowing and he shook his head briskly no, tugging his wrist free when Kakashi tried to tighten his grip.

Kakashi grew suspicious. “Why aren’t you talking? What are you hiding?” 

Annoyance already superceding his earlier caution of Kakashi, the instructor rolled his eyes and replied by opening his mouth wide, revealing the lit cigarette resting on his tongue. With another flick of his tongue, he flipped it back between his teeth then leaned back against the railing once more, arms crossed and expression clearing conveying, ‘Satisfied now?’ 

“Smoking isn’t allowed on school grounds.” Even as the words came out of his mouth, Kakashi cringed a little inside at his own scolding tone that made him sound far more like an especially unliked teacher than the actual teacher in front of him right now. 

Umino took a deep pull before transferring the cigarette from his lips to between his fingers, and blew out the smoke through the side of his mouth rather than into Kakashi's face like he’d clearly briefly considered doing before remembering he did, at least a little, value his life. 

Regardless, he was clearly unimpressed. Umino had gone from frightened and deferential to bratty in the span of just a few sentences. If this was going to be the trend for all his new interactions going forward since his forced reintegration with the rank and file, Kakashi didn’t like the implications one bit.

“Believe me, I know,” the teacher replied tartly. “Why do you think I’m hiding up here? But I thought Anbu had better things to be doing than tattling on academy teachers.” 

Dropping the now mostly depleted cigarette on the ground, he ground it out with his foot before replying in a matter-of-fact, professional tone. 

“Look, if Naruto’s been playing pranks again, I’ll have a talk with him. But I’m not his guardian. I’m not responsible for him outside of school hours.”

“I’ve seen you with him at Ichiraku’s on more than one occasion,” Kakashi shot back.

Umino sighed, and dragged a hand over his scalp, before pulling out the hair tie holding up his mussed ponytail and tying it back up again neater.

“I take him there sometimes, fine. That’s not a crime. Some teachers give out gold stars, I reward the hard cases with ramen when they behave. I believe in positive reinforcement.”

Kakashi gave him a considering stare. 

Umino was growing exasperated. “Look, what is this actually about? Recess is almost over and I need to get back to my students.”

“What your opinion on Edward Elric?”

Now the chunin appeared thoroughly confused at the non sequitur. “The repairman? He seems nice, I guess. What’s this have to do with Naruto?” Some lightbulb went off in his head and now he looked a little aggrieved. “Is this about the watch Naruto stole from him? Did he complain to the Hokage? Look, _I’ll_ pay to replace it or something, but–”

“So you don’t know Naruto was making visits to him,” Kakashi cut him off. 

It had been a shock when Kakashi – or rather, the shadow clone Kakashi had left behind at the apartment to keep watch, had seen Naruto creep out of the older blond’s building carrying his schoolbag. 

The seven year old had hung around long after the gossiping crowd had dispersed, despite the dirty looks frequently shot his way by Elric’s neighbors. Once all but the clone, which had hidden itself out of sight of the boy, had left, he smashed at the door handle with a rock until it fell off, then darted under the police tape criss-crossing the doorframe. 

Positioning itself for a better view through the now open doorway, the clone had expected to see the boy poking around the damage to explore, or more distastefully but not entirely unlikely, steal. Instead, the boy skirted the edges of the sinkhole and went directly into the kitchen/office space beyond, emerging not long after with his schoolbag slung over his shoulder. 

It didn’t take a genius to realize Naruto had been _in_ the apartment before whatever happened, happened – and had left in a rush, abandoning his things in the process, when it went down. That he had the schoolbag with him meant he must have gone there straight from class, which implied a level of eagerness the boy usually didn’t summon for anything but ramen and pranks. And he hadn’t been there as a customer either, or why would his bag be in Elric’s private rooms and not at the bottom of that pit with everything else that had been in the shop? 

Now Umino appeared genuinely surprised. “To _Elric_?

“Now that I think about it, Naruto _did_ seem pretty interested when Elric was talking about his apprenticeship,” the teacher mused. “Oh, this was when we ran into him at Ichiraku’s,” he clarified, not realizing Kakashi had been there listening in.

“He hasn’t said anything about dropping out of the ninja academy, though. Seems as dead set on becoming Hokage as ever.” Umino scowled at whatever conclusion he’d drawn from Kakashi’s line of questioning.

“Is that what this is about? If the village council is worried about their...” he paused, struggling to find the word, “_insurance policy_ becoming a civilian, I wouldn’t. He probably just enjoys having someone pay positive attention to him. It won’t hurt him or anyone to let him potentially pick up some other skills in his free time either, especially if it’s keeping him out of his usual trouble.”

“So he hasn’t confided in you.”

Umino was looking like he regretted grinding out his cigarette too early. “Confide _what_? Like I told you, I’m just his teacher; not his guardian, not his friend. I’m not _supposed_ to be close to him, or have you forgotten?

"So you can tell Sandaime that too! I haven’t been cruel to him, or told him anything I shouldn’t. I've been exactly what a teacher should.”

“Calm down, Umino,” Kakashi replied sharply. “I’m not accusing you of breaking the statute of secrecy.” ‘Although maybe I should be keeping an eye on him for just that, given how defensive he’s getting.’

“The fact of the matter is we’ve learned Naruto has been in a great deal of regular contact with Elric, and we need to make sure this relationship doesn’t endanger the village.”

Umino pursed his lips. “I won’t tell Naruto he’s not allowed to make friends. But I guess it’s worth looking into making sure nothing inappropriate is going on.” Pointing a finger at Kakashi’s face, then seeming to think better of it and pulling it back, he added, “I’ll ask him about it, but don’t expect answers.”

“Fair enough.”

Crossing his arms again and tapping a finger agitatedly against an elbow, the younger man looked away, deep in thought and concern on his face. “And if Naruto says something odd or bad? Who do I go to? Sandaime?”

“No need to escalate that high. You can inform–” Kakashi cut off, suddenly not so sure telling the instructor to go to the police station and alert Inabi was smart before he confirmed what Inabi knew and was hiding. Elric’s involvement with the jinchuriki may even be the reason they took him in, and since they were apparently no longer sharing with Kakashi, he could be giving up his only chance to figure out what was going on. 

“I’ll be around. I’ll find you.” At the curious nod he received in return, the shadow clone dispelled itself with a puff, hoping its original had had more luck with Shisui but sure the revelation about Naruto's involvement could lead somewhere.

Iruka gaped at where it had been standing, then growled as the bell for class began to ring shrilly. “What an ass!” 

_________

Ed had been expecting the cops to show up after his apartment --- well, he wasn’t sure what to call it. Erupted? It had gone off with a rumble like a landslide and he’d be surprised if it didn’t cause the units on either side of him to shake. It would bring cops down on him in a normal civilian town, much less in a Hidden Village. It would be absurd to think no one noticed, even if the walls were still standing. 

So he had his (forged, but very _well_ forged) identify papers and his (very unbelievable, but he was sticking to it) cover story ready to go, and when the trio of shinobi showed up and said he needed to come with them, he didn't question it. 

He’d been through this process once already, knew what to expect, and that police captain had seemed like an alright guy. So long as he kept his poker face, he could _probably_ get through this just fine. They hadn’t offered him his “one phone call” last time he’d been arrested (he hadn’t actually seen any telephones since arriving in this world, for all that they had radio), but maybe he could ask them to pass on word to Shisui, get him to put in a good word for him with whatever relative he had that worked there. They hadn’t even used the words “under arrest” so maybe he was starting off in an even better place than he had been expecting!

That’s what he’d been thinking before everything went dark, and he woke up chained to a wall in a windowless cell, minus one arm and leg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I headcanon Iruka as one of those people who's promised all their friends they've quit smoking, but they really really haven't, just gotten pretty skilled at hiding it.
> 
> To recommend another fic, I'll go with "under the shade" by rikacain. It's a non-ninja ghost au mystery with Iruka and Kakashi! <3


	22. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is kinda late (not that I really have a posting schedule).
> 
> My cat got badly injured (she got stuck very high up in a tree, and then jumped out), so I've been preoccupied with vet visits (She's mostly okay now).

They must have had some means of observing him, because he didn’t have to wait very long at all after waking before his hosts made themselves known: two shinobi, dressed in the same intimidating black armor and white porcelain animal masks as he’d seen the guard in the stairwell outside the Hokage’s office wearing, entered the room: one in front to prepare the way and the second following behind a third scowling man noticeably not in uniform, who must have been in charge. 

From his shaggy, greasy looking hair, the eye-patch over his right eye, the deep x-shaped scar on his chin, and his sour expression, he did not give the slightest impression he was someone who believed in “misunderstandings.” Ed felt his heart sink.

“Edward Elric,” the man spoke, looking down on the blond in both a literal and a ‘what kind of scum has wound up in my dungeon _now_’ sense. 

“That’s me,” he replied with a grin that was more a grimace. He rattled the chain attaching his flesh arm to the wall. “Am I to assume I’m under arrest for something?”

“At least, according to your passport,” the man continued, as if Ed hadn’t spoken. Flipping through the document passed to him by one of the strangely dressed guards, he questioned, “No nation of origin?” 

He said it with such thoughtful surprise, as if only noticing that detail for the first time now. _‘Yeah, right.’_ Ed couldn’t also help but notice the black glove covering the man’s right hand, extending past his wrist and vanishing up his voluminous sleeve. 

“Is that why I’m here?” He answered anyway. “I thought that was all settled. I’m a nomad, only temporarily setting up shop in Konoha. If this was going to be a concern, shouldn’t this have been handled by the gate guards when I arrived?” 

“It’s a curious detail is all.”

Ed gritted his teeth, still hoping to talk his way out of this. “Where’s Captain Inabi?” 

“This is not the police station,” the man answered, folding his hands into his sleeves. “Inabi Uchiha has no authority here.”

“Yeah, I didn’t recognize the decor,” Ed growled, shaking the chain again for emphasis. “Whatever the hell you think I did, I didn’t do it!”

“Now we both know that isn’t true, Elric. Or should I say, Fullmetal?”

Ed surged to his feet, or tried to. Forgetting for an instant his missing leg, he crashed back down against the wall, muttering obscenities under his breath as he brought his hand to the back of his head and prodded it gingerly where it had cracked against the stone. “How the _fuck_ do you know that name?” he glared up at the man. 

“This is what makes you so confounding, Elric. If you had any training at all, you would know this would be the point where you pretend not to know what I’m talking about.”

Ed flushed in anger.

“Instead, you merely confirm that you wrote this bluntly damning letter,” the man continued calmly, producing the letter in question from within his shirt.

“How did you get that?” Ed breathed, going pale.

“Your hawk didn’t make it very far at all, I’m afraid. It was spotted before it even left the village. What a shame.”

Ed gritted his teeth, ducking his head.

“Consorting with a missing-nin of Konoha? Conspiring to steal intelligence to sell to said traitor? It’s obvious you have very little experience with ninja.” The man stepped further into the room, stopping just outside the radius of where Ed assumed he could reasonably stretch from the wall. “Did you even have a plan to pull off this transaction of yours?”

“Normally I’d write you off as a naive little thief and have you killed with no one the wiser or around to miss you. But that was before we found you...in the way we did.”

“I’m assuming this is the part where I ask, ‘how did you find me?’”

“You know,” the man said, pacing back to the door and the guards bracketing the exit. “I had a great deal of people looking for you - the one who wrote this letter, that is to say. But then Cat here,” he dropped his palm onto the guard’s shoulder, “sensed Nine Tails chakra, and what did he find at the center of the devastation, but _you_.” 

“I have no idea what the hell you're talking about,” Ed gritted out, and he really didn’t.

“It’s too late to play that game now, boy. Can you imagine my surprise when you’re brought in and Beetle,” here he indicated the guard standing to his other side, “informs me his kikaichu have identified our new detainee and the author of this utterly _fascinating_ letter as one and the same.” To himself more than to Ed, he added, “Truly incredible, an insect’s sense of smell. And so much less messy than dogs.” 

“I _really_ don't know what you’re talking about.” 

“That’s okay,” the man said, waving over his shoulder as he turned to leave, the two guards staying behind in the cell. “We have plenty of time to find out.”

__________

Inabi’s office was cramped with the police captain, Shisui, Kakashi, Kazuhiko, and Ayu inside. 

Inabi sat behind his desk, elbows propped up and fingers massaging his temples. Shisui stood at his elbow while Kakashi stood at parade rest in front of the desk. The two police officers leaned against the wall, Kazuhiko chewing at a thumbnail until Ayu slapped his hand away from his mouth. 

The only sound was the ticking of the clock and the faint indistinct chatter of the room beyond the door.

“Sooo…” Kazuhiko drawled, hunching his shoulders as everyone turned to look at him, “does this mean we’re done? We’re letting Sandaime know and bringing T&I in?”

“No,” Shisui announced sharply, before darting a glance at Inabi, who remained grim-faced and silent. “Maybe.”

“Scenario one,” Kakashi announced blandly, “Elric has been detained by another agency within Konoha, in which case we should absolutely _not_ let on we’ve been aware of Elric’s activities,”

“Aware of what, exactly?” Ayu hissed, glancing at the closed door. “That he’s weird? He’s slipperier than a fish! We haven’t got anything concrete on him.”

“And didn’t inform Sandaime right away.” Kakashi continued undaunted. “Needless to say, it would not shine a good light on the loyalty of the Uchiha clan,” he announced, ignoring the glares sent his way from the officers and the tired sigh from Inabi. 

“Scenario two, Elric has been abducted by a group outside Konoha.”

“In which case we’d need to inform Sandaime, because it means we’ve been infiltrated,” Shisui acknowledged.

“And if he really is in town hiding from someone after his special abilities,” Ayu mused, “Konoha will want to recruit him. Especially to get him out of the hands of another Hidden Village.”

“Rescuing him does make us a more palatable option than his pursuers,” Shisui smiled wanly.

“And scenario three,” Kakashi continued, “Elric has exfiltrated himself after successfully completing whatever mission he had here within the village.”

“In which case we’d need to alert Sandaime?” Ayu guessed, cringing.

“No, in which case we pretend we never heard of the guy while trying to quietly do some damage control and sweep this all under the rug!” Kazuhiko whisper-shouted. “Because if he was pulling some shit and we knew about it but didn’t tell anyone? If he gets caught anyway, maybe we get a slap on the wrist if Fugaku makes some concessions and kowtows to the other clan heads and civilian council. But if he gets away with it? They’ll probably charge us with treason!” 

“If Elric endangered the safety of this village, I will turn myself in,” Inabi announced, cutting off anything anyone else was going to say. “I was determined to handle this privately, but I see now I’ve failed on every level–as a captain of the police force, as a shinobi, and as a citizen of Konoha.” Kakashi averted his eyes, not enjoying the ‘I told you so’ moment in the slightest. 

“And if I allow an existing threat to be ‘swept under the rug,’“ Kazuhiko flinched at the tone, “I will have failed as a man.“ 

You were all acting on my orders, I will plead you receive a lighter punishment.” 

“Captain–!” Ayu’s voice broke off, trembling. “They can’t...we didn’t know what he was doing. We _don’t_ know what’s he doing.”__

_ _Inabi rubbed a hand over his face. “And what does that say about the Konoha military police’s ability to protect this village? Our failure today is a greater condemnation that any that have been spat at us since the Kyubi attack.” _ _

_ _“But we don’t know that he’s done anything yet,” Shisui pointed out calmly. “There’s no need to throw yourself on a bl-” cutting himself off at the way Kakashi stiffened, Shisui pivoted, “I have a proposal. I want to bring in Itachi.”_ _

_ _Inabi’s head whipped around, as Kakashi’s eyebrow shot up and Ayu’s jaw dropped. “The clan head’s heir?” She asked incredulously._ _

_ _“Kazuhiko wasn’t entirely off-base about damage control,” Shisui responded edgily. “Itachi reports directly to the Hokage. He has access to a lot more information than any of us. Such as if T&I have brought anyone in recently, or if something important has been stolen, for example. Once we get the lay of the situation, we can plan our further action from there.”_ _

_ _Kakashi looked skeptical. “While that type of information could help us identify if we’re definitely in scenario one or three, no news doesn’t necessarily mean scenario two, it could still mean scenario three,” he pointed out. _ _

_ _"As we don’t know what Elric’s mission was, if he is in fact a foreign agent, we can’t assume the Hokage’s office _will_ be aware anything is wrong. We’re not so incompetent that they’ll definitely see what we missed, especially when they don’t know there’s anything to be looking for.”_ _

_ _“What I’m hearing is a lot of poking holes and no alternate solutions,” Shisui grumbled._ _

_ _Inabi stood up. “It’ll buy us a little time at least to try to save you all from my mistake. Shisui, go ahead and get Itachi up to speed. Tell him he has three days to dig up what he can. That’s as much of a head start as we can afford to give Elric if he’s skipped town and we need to give chase.”_ _

_ _Shisui nodded and made his way to leave._ _

_ _“Oh, there’s one more thing,” Kakashi brought up, sounding subdued. _ _

_ _Now that he knew for sure the Uchiha hadn’t been involved in Ed’s disappearance, there wasn’t any reason to hide this information anymore, since it would have to be investigated as well, and he’d need the help. _ _

_ _“Elric is...somehow involved with the jinchuriki.” _ _

_ _Several officers closest to the captain’s office jumped at the loud BANG that sounded from inside, as though the heavy wooden desk had been flipped over. The Hatake’s anxious voice drifted through the door. _ _

_ _“Waitwaitwaitwait he’s fine, he’s fine, he’s in the village! I checked earlier today and he’s in class!” _ _

_ ____________ _

_ _

_ _“Naruto, can you please stay after class, please? I’d like to talk to you.”_ _

_ _Naruto slumped in his seat, ignoring the jeers and “ooooooooooohhhs!” as his classmates went home for the day, a few kicking his chair on the way out. He wasn’t even sure what he was in trouble for! He hadn’t done anything today. He hadn’t really been in the mood for it. But...he hadn’t really been paying attention, either._ _

_ _Grabbing his bag, he made his way down the steps of the tiered seating to where Iruka was waiting at the front of the room._ _

_ _“I didn’t do nuthin’,” he preempted the expected lecture._ _

_ _Iruka sighed. “You’re not in trouble, Naruto.” Contemplating the boy in front of him, unusually downcast when he was usually so excitable and brash, he gently pressed, “unless there’s something you want to tell me?”_ _

_ _Naruto scrunched up his nose in confusion. Was this one of those things where you’d get in less trouble if you confessed first? But he really hadn’t done anything bad today, and he hadn’t pulled any pranks in a while, because he was too busy with studying with Ed on how to perform his alchemy jutsu._ _

_ _“Uh...sorry for...not paying attention in class?”_ _

_ _Iruka sighed. “I noticed you seemed preoccupied today, Naruto, but you’re not in trouble. I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”_ _

_ _The little boy fidgeted, pinning his stare to his feet. “I’m fine. Can I go now?”_ _

_ _“...did you get in a fight with a friend?”_ _

_Ed grabbed him and shook him violently by the shoulders. “What the hell was that?! I told you! I told you not to do anything!”_

_ _Naruto’s silence was answer enough._ _

_ _Iruka chewed on a lip. “Was this friend...Edward Elric?”_ _

_ _Naruto glanced up, shocked._ _

_“And for once, please, do what I ask and don’t breath a word of this, any of this, to anyone.”_

_ _“N-no! Elric who? Never heard of the guy!” _ _

_ _“Naruto!” Iruka cut in sharply. "Don’t play games with me right now! I know you know who Elric is, you stole his watch, remember?” _ _

_ _Naruto cringed, he’d actually forgotten about that._ _

_ _Silence stretched uncomfortably between them._ _

_ _Softer now, Iruka went on, “I’ve already promised you aren’t in trouble. But something is clearly wrong, and as your teacher I want to help make it better.”_ _

_ _After another pause, Naruto squirmed in place uncomfortably. “He asked me not to tell.”_ _

_ _Iruka felt like he’d been suddenly dosed in cold water. Sinking down to his knees, he placed both hands on Naruto’s shoulders and comfortingly rubbed up and down his arms, as if it was the boy feeling the chill and not himself. “Naruto, has Elric been...telling you to do things you don’t want to do? Things that...feel bad or hurt?”_ _

_ _‘What?” Naruto finally looked Iruka full in the face, surprise clear in his features, ready to jump to his friend’s defense. “No! He’s been teaching me all kinds of cool stuff, and he lets me do my homework in his kitchen and makes me omelettes. And he let me pet his bird and she didn’t even bite me! Ed’s the best!” _ _

_ _Iruka breathed an internal sigh of relief. So probably not a pedophile, then._ _

_ _“But...we did have a fight, sorta. He’s always telling me to be super, super careful when he’s fixing things, cause it’s dangerous and I was only supposed to watch. But I did something by accident, and messed it up.”_ _

_ _Tears welled up in the boy’s eyes. “H-He got really mad, Iruka-sensei! He told me to leave, and I went back this morning before class to apologize, but he wasn’t there! They said he left, but he didn’t tell me where he was going!”_ _

_ _Iruka shushed him comfortingly, “It’s okay, Naruto. I’m sure he wasn’t really mad. He was just worried that you might have gotten hurt. And he’ll be back, it’s not like he left the village.”_ _

_ _Naruto knuckled a hand over his wet face, wiping away the tears and snot. “No, but he’ll have to move and I don’t know where to!”_ _

_ _“Move? What are you talking about, Naruto?”_ _

_ _Naruto crossed his arms and refused to answer. _ _

_ _“Naruto?”_ _

_ _“I broke his apartment,” he reluctantly mumbled into his chest. “It’s just a big hole now.”_ _

_ _“...I don’t understand. You...the apartment was destroyed? How? With one of your pranks?”_ _

_ _“No!” the orange-clad boy shouted back, defiant and annoyed at the assumption._ _

_ _Iruka was bewildered. “Then how?”_ _

_ _“...the jutsu blew up.”_ _

_ _Iruka groaned. “Naruto, you shouldn’t be practicing jutsu outside of class! Not without an adult to supervise.”_ _

_ _“Ed’s an adult, and he was supervising!” Naruto whined. “He’s really short, but I promise he’s an adult!” _ _

_ _“I know he’s an adult, but he’s not an appropriate supervisor!” Iruka scolded. “I meant an adult who can perform jutsu, a shinobi like me or Mizuki-sensei!”_ _

_ _“But it’s Ed’s jutsu!” Naruto burst out, then covered his mouth with both hands, looking mortified._ _

_ _Iruka’s mind blanked. “Elric...is teaching you jutsu?”_ _

_ _“It’s his super secret special fixing-things jutsu,” Naruto peeped out before covering his mouth again. Then it seemed the secret just had to burst out of him in his excitement now that it was loose._ _

_ _“No one else in Fire Country knows it but Ed and he’s teaching me so I can beat Sasuke and be Hokage! But he made me promise to not tell anyone cause if everyone knew it, it wouldn’t be super secret and special anymore. So you can’t tell anyone, got it, Iruka-sensei?” he finished with mock sternness, wagging a finger in a gesture he’d probably picked up from Iruka himself._ _

_ _“I...see. Can you show me this jutsu?”_ _

_ _Naruto’s enthusiasm dimmed a bit. “N-not yet,” he hedged. “I haven’t perfected it yet.”_ _

_ _“Right, right,” Iruka mused aloud, deep in thought. “You blew up his apartment.”_ _

The blond boy flushed bright red. “It was an accident! It won’t happen next time!” His eyes began to shimmer with tears again. “But what if Ed never forgives me and doesn’t finishing teaching it to me? I really _really_ want to learn this jutsu, Iruka-sensei. I’ve been studying sooooooo hard!” 

_ _The teacher’s mind whirred. “Well, we’ll just need to find Ed then,” he said aloud. ‘And I need to find Kakashi.’_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Danzo's outfit is stupid. Why would he wear bandages for like literal decades and no one questions why his wounds haven't healed. Let's assume he dresses more normal in his Root base.
> 
> Also, don't be too harsh on Naruto for spilling the beans almost immediately. He's a little kid, he's upset, and someone is offering to let him confide in them so he jumped on the opportunity.
> 
> Fic rec! I'll recommend Kamikakushi by PandaFlower. It's little kid Tobirama in a kinda spirited away type situation.


	23. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not dead, just lazy. Also, I fell down the rabbit hole that is MDZS, so there’s that.
> 
> Unrelated note, I realized now I probably didn’t make this clear enough when it happened, but when the Uchiha had that clan meeting a few chapters back, the attendees were only told that the new guy in town had said some suspiciously leading things about coups, apropos of nothing, specifically to several Uchiha shinobi. Inabi only shared the coup-relevant stuff, not the rest of the investigation (or that there is an investigation). Hence the one Uchiha complaining it was suspicious Ed was hanging around with Kakashi - he didn’t know that Kakashi is technically spying on Ed on Inabi’s orders. 
> 
> Lastly - torture scene immediately below this! I don’t like writing torture, so this is as vanilla as torture gets. No blood, I promise. No more traumatic than a fight scene.

The Elemental Nations didn’t have cars or trains, telegrams or telephones, or other modern technological conveniences that Ed was used to, even having grown up in a podunk town far out in the country where such things usually arrived last when they arrived at all. But they _did_ have electricity. 

The scientists or medics or whoever it was that had taken his limbs, had, credit to them, very quickly been able to deduce how they functioned. Namely, that they used the electrical impulses generated by his body’s own nervous system, through a direct connection enabled by the ports installed at his shoulder and knee, as both their power source and method of controlling movement.

Which is why, in Ed’s educated opinion, they had ultimately decided on running a powerful electric current directly into his port rather than any other, more popular form of torture. And he had to hand it to them, it was easily the second most painful thing he’d ever experienced in his life (the memory of shadowy tendrils forming into grasping fingers, reaching out to tear away the flesh and bone of his leg molecule by molecule floated up in his mind). He’d never complain about getting his automail reattached again - this made that seem like a pinch, at most, in comparison. 

And if he lived through Truth taking a limb, _twice_, he could live through this. His torturers must be stupid, he thought, heaving in air through his nose. But then he’d always thought physical torture was a terrible way to get answers anyway. If you want someone to give information, they had to be in a position to be physically capable of providing it.

He’d blacked out almost immediately the first time they applied the current, and in the wake of each consecutive shock he’d experienced significant malfunction of his senses. Currently, his vision had narrowed to a pinprick of light in a field of black, and a high whine like a mosquito filled his ears, almost entirely drowning out whatever the interrogator was asking him. Even if he planned on spilling his guts, which he didn’t, a muscle spasm in his jaw had it clenched so tight he doubted he could open it to speak if he tried. 

He laughed a little in his head, and tried to give the interrogator his best “fuck you” stare with what control over his muscles he had. If they upped the voltage and gave him another seizure, they’d be forced to stop for the day and give him time to recover, which he could spend trying to plan a way out of here.

__________

“Ah, Itachi, have you come to give me your answer?”

The young Anbu paused from where he knelt in front of the village elder, as if he had not been the one to seek this meeting, had not been expecting this question. 

“....I have not.”

The pause before Danzo answered was weighed with heavy disappointment. “There is no path to peace but this. I know you are wise enough to see that, and I trusted you were dutiful enough to see it out. Was willing to reward you for your loyalty even, by fulfilling your rather significant request. But if I can’t leave this matter to you, I can’t promise to stay the hand of another of my agents, when doing so might put the entire village at risk.”

The skin around the young man’s eyes tightened, but there was no other reaction to this news.

“My apologies, Lord Danzo. I have not rejected your generous offer. I only meant I have not come to a decision yet.”

The man sighed, somewhat performatively in Itachi’s opinion. “We don’t have time for you to dither. Wait too long, and the decision will be made for you.” With that he seemed to consider the matter concluded, turning back to the paperwork on his desk.

But the teen didn’t leave. Instead, he pushed to his feet, folding his hands respectfully behind his back. 

“That may no longer be accurate.”

Annoyance visibly rose in the elder’s face. “Explain.”

“The timeline has been pushed back. The clan is wavering. I believe I can still convince them not to go through with this plan.” 

“For how long?” Danzo scoffed. “To protect the garden, the gardener must pull out the weeds at the root.”

“It is this one’s belief we should make use of a reprieve when given one, as there may yet be a greater threat to Konoha which we should be focusing our attentions on at this time.” 

“_Explain._”

“Konoha Police Captain Uchiha Inabi has been conducting a private investigation against a certain individual who recently entered the village as a civilian craftsman. While conclusive evidence has yet to be obtained, this individual’s behavior suggests he is likely in actuality a shinobi. Captain Inabi believes bringing in this potential threat for either elimination or recruitment will prove the Uchiha clan’s loyalty and satisfy the discontent between the clan and the village, and has in confidence requested my help–”

“The name.”

“Edward Elric.”

“Elric is already in our custody, so any shift in priorities is unnecessary.”

Itachi stiffened slightly. Danzo smirked internally. It was clear the boy didn’t know this. How sad. His trump card may have been worth something even a day earlier. 

Nevertheless, he seemed to want to push forward. 

“...I would humbly request that our full attention be paid to ascertaining Elric’s origins and intentions, including resources that would be otherwise devoting to suppressing the Uchiha.”

It would almost be funny, if it wasn’t so pathetic. 

“Why would I do that?”

“He may be more dangerous that initial appearances suggest.”

Danzo would wave this away as a foolish attempt to sway him where it not for Elric being found at the site of a release of Nine Tails chakra.

“What has Inabi’s little investigation revealed to make him think that?”

“Elric appears to be aware of the coup, and potentially arrived in Konoha specifically for that reason.” Danzo’s eyes widened. “Inabi’s team is working to determine how he could have come by the knowledge, and what his benefactors have to gain by encouraging its success...or failure.”

The elder’s fists clenched. So some other village thought it could influence his home, did it? He’d prefer to lance the Uchiha like the infected sore they’d become, but the stupid boy had a point. What did the other villages hope to achieve from this situation? He couldn’t take action until he knew for sure, so he could do his best to prevent it. 

“As for Elric himself,” the boy continued, “a member of the investigation team has reason to suspect Elric is the product of experimentation to produce an artificial kekkei genkai.”

“Why wasn’t Elric brought in immediately?!” Danzo roared, slamming a fist down on the desk. That filthy snake Orochimaru - this explained the boy’s interest in arranging a meeting with the scientist. ‘Shared interest in forbidden knowledge,’ indeed. 

“It couldn't be proven, as one of the jutsu potentially linked to Elric's defining traits is the inability to be tracked by the sharingan.”

Danzo saw the smug satisfaction hidden in the Uchiha boy’s eyes as he turned his failure into victory, although his face remained deferential. But he was forced to accept it in this circumstance. The sharingan could copy any technique – be it ninjutsu, genjutsu, or taijutsu – with the exception of bloodline traits. But the inability to track one at all, unable to observe frame-by-frame and react in time to fight back, as any basic un-evolved sharingan should be able to do? This was very, very dangerous indeed. And if they could develop a kekkei genkai to do that, what else could they do? 

Which raised the question, who gave Elric the kekkei genkai? The same people who sent him here to investigate and influence the intra-village conflict plaguing Konoha (that he believed had been well under wraps; was there more than one spy in the village)? No, he described himself as a scientist, so he may in all likelihood have implanted it in himself. So did he intend to contact Orochimaru on his benefactors’ behalf, or his own? 

Danzo was inclined to believe the later, simply for the sloppy way it was handled. He half wondered if he should be grateful. If the spy hadn’t gotten overambitious and tried to double dip on this mission of his, this might have been missed.

That leaves the matter of Elric’s contact with the Kyuubi vessel. Itachi seems unaware, but Danzo has little doubt it’s connected to the foreigner’s interference in the Uchiha coup, which means it will come up in the interrogation.

Ah, but Itachi is here, isn’t he? Despite his _admirable_ attempts to keep both his clan and his village, bringing Danzo these secret orders from Inabi is proof his loyalty lies with the village above his clan, and that he understands Danzo represents the village's best interests, even despite his personal distaste for Danzo. And he won’t deny that the boy's skill with genjutsu is prodigious; it will come in useful in further interrogation. Should there be any problems, well, Beetle will be there to keep an eye on him as well. 

“Very well, Itachi, you did well to bring this to my attention. If your father’s coup has truly been postponed, we will let the matter rest. For now. In the interim, I want you working with Cat and Beetle on the prisoner to get every last drop of information from him that you can.” 

Itachi bowed. “Oh course, Lord Danzo. What shall I tell Inabi?”

“I assume he wants you snooping amid Hiruzen’s things. Rest assured the fool is still as uninterested in the darker side of running this village as he has always been, so I didn’t see fit to inform him of Elric’s capture. You are free to tell Inabi Hiruzen knows nothing with a free conscience.”

______

When Kakashi entered his apartment, the first thing he noticed was the smell of smoke. 

The second was a familiar chunin stepping into frame, both hands raised in the air. “Don’t kill me, it’s just me.”

Lowering the kunai he hadn’t even realized he’d grabbed, he scowled, then slammed the door shut behind him.

“What the hell are you doing here? _How_ the hell did you get in here? ...And put out that fucking cigarette!” 

He scrunched up his nose at the smell that would be clinging to the curtains and furniture now. He’d have to air out the place. Just because the teacher’s secret was out with Kakashi didn’t give him permission to light up in someone else’s home without permission. Ugh, this was Asuma all over again. 

“Sheesh, alright, alright. You really are a tightwad, huh,” the chunin commented, eyeing Kakashi to make sure he wasn’t going to get stabbed the moment he turned to find something to stamp the cigarette out in. “And Guy let me in, so you know.” 

Kakashi very nearly groaned in disgust, but managed to keep it off his face. He knew giving the man his spare key was a bad idea. Did ‘for emergencies only’ mean nothing anymore? 

“I told you I’d find _you_. So I repeat, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Let me trade you a question,” Umino replied, coming back into view from the kitchen. “What’s going on with Elric? Where is he?”

In that moment, Kakashi deeply, deeply regretted asking the teacher about Ed at all. It wasn’t really his place to involve anyone else in the investigation to start with, and the absolute last thing he wanted was to have to further explain this insane situation, and admit how very little idea he had of what was actually going on, to anyone else. Especially a snotty chunin. 

So instead he merely raised an eyebrow, and leaned back against the closed door, waiting for Umino to give up and share what he came here to share.

Umino crossed his arms tightly across his chest, fingers squeezing against his own arm in agitation.

“I went by his shop,” he eventually stated, chewing on his words. “And the _official_ story is that it was damaged in a sinkhole, but I want to know what you know.”

When Kakashi continued to stay silent, waiting for Umino to carry the conversation, the man's agitation turned to anger, practically spitting, “don’t forget that _you’re_ the one who dragged me into this, told me he might be dangerous, might be after one of my students! I deserve to know!”

Kakashi sighed, conceding that far. And this unasked for interrogation was rooted out of concern for Sensei’s son, so he pushed back the annoyance. 

“The sinkhole wasn’t natural,” he admitted. “But at this point we don't know who caused it and where Elric went after.”

Umino nodded, as if that was what he was expecting. “Well, I can tell you who caused it, at least.” 

“You-“ Kakashi glared. “Why didn’t you tell me this immediately!” 

“I already told you. I wanted to know what you know.” Umino sucked in a breath, looking askance. 

“It was Naruto.”

Kakashi paused, not expecting that answer, but in retrospect... “Naruto? Are you sure?”

“I asked what he was doing with Elric, like you wanted. And Elric has apparently been teaching him jutsu on the side. Something ‘secret,’ so Naruto claims, although if that’s true, why he’d teach it to Naruto, I don’t know.”

Umino paused. “...Naruto said Elric is ‘the only one in Fire Country’ to know of this jutsu. It could be he’s the last of his clan, and wants to pass it on.” He shrugged. 

“Or maybe there’s dozens of people outside Fire Country who can use it. Who knows. But whatever jutsu he was teaching him did _that_ when Naruto didn’t perform it right, so it must be pretty powerful. I'd wager it can do a lot more than sink one little shop when used by a shinobi with better control.”

Elric as a rogue shinobi confirmed. And if Liore really was in Stone as he suspected, combined with an earth-based jutsu...but wait. If the strange jutsu he used in the training grounds is the same as the one he taught Naruto that sunk the shop, it couldn’t possibly be a kekkei genkai - those can’t be taught or passed on, except through children of the same bloodline or implantation of a physical organ, like his eye. 

...Unless Elric has somehow already implanted a kekkei genkai, artificial or otherwise, into the jinchuriki, without anyone’s notice.

No. Absurd. 

Thoughts swamped in the quagmire this new information brought, Kakashi managed to get out, “Ah, thanks Umino. This will be...helpful. You are free to go.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow as the chunin made his way over to him, before realizing he was still blocking the door and stepped aside. 

The other man did pause, however, before leaving. “That’s it, then? I’m not going to get to learn anything else about whatever’s going on here?” he asked, frustration clear in his tone. But he continued without pausing for an answer, already knowing Kakashi wouldn’t give him one.

“Can you tell me if Naruto is safe at least? And Elric...Naruto is really worried about him. I need to know if I should be...tempering expectations.”

Kakashi slumped his shoulders a bit. “Naruto should be fine for now. We’ll act as soon as we have indication he’s in danger. As for Elric...no, I don’t imagine Naruto will be seeing him again.”

Whether he was an enemy or an innocent, this was probably going to wind up with him dead. Safer for everyone.

Umino put his face into his hands and breathed deeply in and out a few times, before straightening. “Okay,” he mumbled. “I didn’t really want to know anyway.”

Then he left. 

_____

This whole ‘sage’ thing was useful, Ling had to admit.

Orochimaru’s lessons hadn’t been entirely helpful, to begin with. Humans here just fundamentally didn’t understand chi. Which wasn’t a knock against them – Ling knew chi threw Ed for a loop, to the blond’s unending frustration. But while Ed might be able to wrap his head around it eventually – he was smart enough and stubborn enough – Ling suspected the people here simply _couldn’t_. They could only try to understand it in terms of human chakra, and chi wasn’t like that.

They wanted to use it, mold it, shape it like clay. 

Because chi, or natural chakra as they preferred to call it (which only lent credence to his little theory, to Ling’s mind) did not originate within a person, the difficulty in using chi for a shinobi was in twisting a piece of it away from the world, forcing it to become part of you and you alone by combining it with your own chakra. Of course, this is an unnatural state for chi. So unnatural, in fact, it fights back. 

With the apparent side effect of turning people who used it into animals or stone, if Orochimaru was to be believed. Ling wasn’t sure if that was an actual consequence, or a cautionary fable about hubris, like the story of the woman who was turned into a gold coin for daring to pluck a feather from the phoenix’s tail. But Orochimaru was the only person in the underground city (fortress, maze, graveyard) who had trained in senjutsu (possibly - Orochimaru didn’t exactly let Ling meet many people) so Ling shrugged and agreed to take his word for it.

But, this is all assuming you have chakra to begin with.

Ling did not. Orochimaru still did not know this, and Ling wanted to keep it that way. He didn’t overly worry Orochimaru would become suspicious, because all humans, and some animals, had chakra in this world. It shouldn’t be something that even crossed the snake sennin's mind. And if his chakra couldn’t be felt, well, ‘he’s not a shinobi so it’s too weak to sense,’ they’d likely think, or ‘he’s a sensor, even if he can’t use ninjutsu he at least knows how to feel and suppress his own chakra.’

So he wasn’t that worried. He knew how to play cautious. 

All this to say, for a long while he could not beat the first hurdle to mastering senjutsu, since nothing Orochimaru could teach would have any relation to his situation whatsoever. But his lack of immediate progress did not concern Orochimaru unduly either. This was apparently the hardest stage.

But as he sat in perceived meditation, puzzling over the mystery, his thoughts drifted to one specific memory, an old one, from before preserving the Yao clan became his one and only concern. 

_“The dragon is the world, and we are part of the world. It’s pulse runs through us.”_

_“So I have dragon blood in me?” Ling perked up in interest for the first time in what had otherwise been another boring philosophy lesson. He turned over his wrist to look at the blue veins there with new consideration._

_“Don’t be foolish, Ling,” his mother admonished, a smile twitching at the corner of her lips, though she tried to be stern. “You may be a prince, but you are not a dragon.”_

_Ling sighed. “No, a dragon is much cooler than a prince,” he announced sulkily. He wriggled on his floor cushion, eager for the lecture to end so he could go play swords with Lan Fan. _

_Mother reached out and yanked his foot out from under him, so he fell back with a yelp. _

_“Look!” She said laughing, pulling his foot into the air while he glowered up at her. “Your little toe is part of you. Your heart pumps blood to it.” She gave it a gentle pinch, so the skin turned white, then flushed pink again as the blood returned. “But, it doesn’t have a heart of its own.”_

_She gave his toe a little kiss to sooth the hurt of the pinch, causing him blush and yank his foot back embarrassed, considering himself too grown up to still receive affection from his mother, now that he was old enough to hold a sword._

_“We benefit from the dragon’s pulse, but we must never forget we are only borrowing something. It does not belong to us.”_

That made more sense to Ling. Chakra belonged to a person, and it could be used up and run out, like a life. Chi was infinite, unending, and belonged to the world. He was just borrowing as much as he needed for a while, which happened to be a little more than usual, and then he’d release it back into the flow when he didn’t need it any longer. 

After that revelation, it all came easier. And that’s when Orochimaru’s tutelage became useful.

Could he use chi to perform ninjutsu? Genjutsu? Eh, maybe? But he’d have to learn from scratch, and most shinobi started training at 6. He wasn’t really interested. 

But could he use chi to kick harder, run faster, jump higher, fight longer, sense and dodge attacks with greater ease than ever before, and resist them when they hit without experiencing pain? Spark to life his chakra saber without the help of another? Maybe even dare to–? Oh yes. Yes he could. Was this what it felt like to live as a dragon instead of a mere prince? 

Orochimaru seemed pleased with the results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will I ever make people stop overestimating Ed's skill as a spy? No. Never. It's too funny. 
> 
> I'll try not to let two months go by without another update, since these chapters are so short as it is. 
> 
> For a fic rec, let's go with an Avatar one. Kintsugi by discordiansamba is an awesome Zuko and Toph friendship fic!


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